<p>For anybody that got a 12 on their SAT essay, would you be willing to post it, so inferior writers like me can see what it takes to do better on the essay and what the graders are looking for?? ( i personally got a 10 on my essay and am trying to improve my scores drastically)</p>
<p>Hey, im going to bring up my essay compilation post... ill post my essay there and please post yours so we can learn..</p>
<p>Great idea for a thread. I received a 12 for this essay written for the June SAT. Welcome comments and invite others to share their essays:</p>
<p>Do memories hinder or help people in their efforts to learn from the past and succeed in the present?</p>
<p>I will never forget Coach McClamrock's words: "Men we deserved to lose. We made too many mental mistakes. We had a game plan but we didn't follow it. And most important of all, they wanted to win more than we did."</p>
<p>Coach McClamrock's words hurt because I knew they were true. Although we had a great football team we deserved to lose the championship game. I was just a sophomore and I vowed that next season would be different. The bitter memory of our defeat would inspire us to rededicate ourselves and win the championship.</p>
<p>The weeks turned to months and soon the new football season arrived. I was the quarterback and co-captain of our team. We were unified in our resolve to avenge our defeat and win state. We were indefatigable and indomitable.</p>
<p>At first, everything went perfectly. We were invincilble as victory followed victory. Everyone predicted we would easily win the championship. But success can lead to complacency. We were becoming too overconfident. Our team was forgetting the lessons and memories of the past. Even though we had the best coaches, even though we had the most talent, and even though we had the most fervent fans, I knew something was wrong. I had to do something. So I did.</p>
<p>I called a players only meeting hours before the championship game. The room was dark and for once everyone was silent. No one knew it, but I had saved a DVD of our loss just one year ago. Without saying a word, I turned on the TV monitor. The whole team's attention was riveted to the screen as we relieved our worst nightmare. </p>
<p>Seeing the DVD galvanized the entire team. As I hoped, the memory of our defeat fired up the entire team. Later that night, we stormed onto the field and played the game of our lives. I learned a very valuable lesson. Memories can help people overcome the past and succeed in the present.</p>
<p>great story! i really think that cookie cutter essays do not get 12's(like i wrote). I'm going to tell a personal story next time!</p>
<p>yea that's an awesome essay. I had a regular intro, 3 example, conclusion essay and got 11.</p>
<p>It's good, but I'm amazed that it got a 12. It only uses one example, and it's more of a "story" than a "paper." Yeah, I did what confidential did, wrote a bland, standard 5-paragraph essay because I thought that's what they wanted, and it screwed me over. Guess I'll be more creative next time.</p>
<p>He uses a few good words in there too. I think incorporation of SAT type words can help as well.</p>
<p>I received a 12 on both the march and june essays. I had the majority question and the memories question. Which essay would you like me to type up (i only want to type one)?</p>
<p>the memories question if possible, thanks, and also if u dont want to type them you can save the essay as images to your computer then upload them to the net using <a href="http://imageshack.us/%5B/url%5D">http://imageshack.us/</a> (no registration needed!)</p>
<p>Eeepiyk - thank you for sending me your March essay. It has been posted on the "Official" thread. Is the last sentence of your first paragraph correct? I typed it as I received it. Brilliant essay! Would love to post your June essay as well. Others will benefit from studying both of your essays!!</p>
<p>thanks sunnyboy. yes, i think that sentence is correct (i looked over it quickly...didn't see any errors in it...let me know if you think otherwise)</p>
<p>i would post my june essay too, but i actually used some of the same ideas and sentences in it (go figure). there's no rule against it...especially if you plan to take the SAT a couple times! basically i did the same thing as with my march essay, except with a few different examples.</p>
<p>i got 12 on both and had majority/ memory as well.</p>
<p>Eeeplyk - great strategy. Others should take note. Select a setting/topic you feel comfortable with and adjust as needed depending upon the essay topic.</p>
<p>Shoegal2 - enourage you to post your essay on this thread or on the "Official Essay Thread" or both. People taking the SAT will benefit from reading a variety of essays.</p>
<p>Take a look at the 11 essays posted thus far. Seems to me that scoring the 12's and 11's is straightforward enough. However, the scoring of the 9's is inconsistent and at times bewildering. Take a look.</p>
<p>I'm writing up some tips and advice on how to score a 12 on the essay. i will post it as a new thread shortly.</p>
<p>here's march:
i feel like i was repetitive but i guess that's okay for such a quick, rushed essay and hopefully, when copying it, i didnt do any typos. </p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT- Is the opinion of the majority-in government or in any other circumstances-a poor guide? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>A democratic government is based off of majority rule or a system in which whatever policy gets the most votes wins. While this may be the best way to reflect the citizens' interests, it is a poor guide for government. Just because more people beileve in a decision does not make it a good, virtuous decision. Something that guides is always supposed to be good and because, in many cases, majority rule can ultimately lead to bad decisions, it a poor guide for government and other circumstances.</p>
<p>In America, majority rule has often been corrupt and a poor guide. A French nobleman, Alexis de Tocqueville, traveled around America during the 1800s. He published a book, Democracy in America (underlined), based off of his discoveries. De Tocqueville found many things in America to be laudable, but he wrote about one thing known as "tyranny of the majority." Under the system of majority rule, the rights of the minority can often be abused. De Tocqueville gathered this theoretical claim after observing certain elements of American society. He stated that what the majority wants is not always beneficial because it can, at times, hurt other people. Clearly, majority rule is a poor guide for government because a truly good guide for government would never allow one group of people to become the subject of abuse by another group. </p>
<p>Majority rule is a poor guide for government because what the majority wants is not always a good thing. Henry David Thoreau explicated this theory in his essay, "Civil Disobediance." Thoreau thought that one of the key problems in America was that it only listened to its majority and not the minority. Thoreau provided the Mexican-American War as an example of when the majority forced the government to make an unjust decision. He wrote, "Why does America not cherish its wise minority?" Thoreau was saying that majority rule is not a good guide on its own because a good guide would also provide for the rights of the minority. </p>
<p>Majority rule is not a good guide for government because it can often harm the minority. During World War II, many Americans felt threatened by Japanese-Americans because of the Japanese government's bombing of Pearl Harbor. Thus, many Japanese-Americans were sent to internment camps. In these camps, human beings were degraded and massive civil rights violations took place. While this policy was immoral, it was enacted because the majority of Americans felt it was necessary. A good guide for government would strive for equality, instead of a tyrranical system. For these reasons, majority rule is not a good guide for government.</p>
<p>Under majority rule, whatever the majority wants is the law. If the majority wants to kill antoher group, it would be allowed. Because a guide for government should always be good, majority rule, on its own, is a poor guide for government because it can often lead to a tyranny of the majority. </p>
<p>now that i read it, i see a lot of improvements could be made. they gave it a 12, though, so whatever. by the way, it took up the full 2 pages. i'll post june later. hope it helps</p>
<p>Thanks Shoegal2 - I will post your essay on the Official Thread as well. Great job.
Eeepiyk - looking forward to reading your thoughts. Should be very interesting and helpful.</p>
<p>JUNE: got a 12 again. was having some trouble coming up with good examples so my 3 are from about the same time period. i guess the collegeboard did not mind. </p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT- Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>When formulating policies for the present or the future, it is wise to look to the past. The history behind certain issues can serve as a guide of how to act, how not to act, or what to think. These specific memories can help people to succeed in the present by serving as such a guide. It would be irresponsible and careless to repress the past and not consider it when acting in the present.</p>
<p>Throughout history, looking to past events and attitudes has allowed many to be successful in the present. At the beginning of the Cold War, the United States was in conflict with Russia. The emerging question was what should be the policy toward the Soviet Union. George Kennan, a diplomat who resided in Moscow, provided the answer. After thoroughly examining Russia's past, he proposed a new type of foreign policy: containment. Kennan stated, after observing influential figures throughout the history of Russia such as Ivan or Lenin, that the Soviets value aggression. The best option the US had was to contain this aggression and not led it spread throughout the world. In 1989, the Soviet Union dissolved as a result of Kennan's theory on Russia. Clearly, Kennan's use of the history of Russia allowed for a successful policy in modern times. From this, it can be inferred that memories help people to prosper in the present.</p>
<p>Looking to the past can help people to later succeed, but it can also help show many how not to act. During World War II, the US faced a big enemy; this enemy was Japan. Japan was a lingering threat and the US needed to figure out how to get rid of this threat quickly. To achieve this goal, the United States dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. These bombs had not been tested and the toll they took on these cities was devastating. From this time in history, the world learned that it's best to avoid using such bombs. In the 1970s, the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT) limited the number of nuclear bombs a nation could have. It was obvious that the creators of SALT were looking back at World War II when they decided to reduce arms. A retrospective look back at certain memories teaches people how not to act in the present. </p>
<p>Referring back to history always provides people with a guide of how to act in the present. Before World War II, Hitler and other aggressive figures were beginning to attack neighboring countries. The rest of the world did not know how to handle these leaders so they appeased them by giving into their demands. A horrible war was the direct result of such appeasement. From this, the leaders of the world realized they could not turn their back on the world and allow for such belligerent rulers to lead again. The United Nations and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization were created when world leaders looked back at the causes of World War II. This referring back to history has proven to be beneficial in the present. </p>
<p>As proven throughout history, memories help people in their effort to succeed in the present. By looking at past events, one can decide in what way and based on what axiom he or she will act.</p>
<p>Thanks for posting your essay. Your transitions between paragraphs were especially impressive. Check out the thread "How to score a 12 on the Essay - A Miniguide." Would be very interested to read your reactions and insights. Both of your essays are now posted on the Official Essay Thread.</p>
<p>Alone we can afford to be wholly whatever we are and to feel whatever we feel absolutely. With others we are busy wondering: what does my companion see or think of this, and what do I think of it? The original impact of our feelings gets lost or is reduced.</p>
<p>Adapted from May Sarton, The Rewards of Living a Solitary Life </p>
<p>Assignment: Does worrying too much about other people's opinions prevent us from seeing things clearly? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>12 essay</p>
<p>As our society grows in complexity and our aspirations, as humans seeking progression, become more intricate, we can not help but seek and value the other people's opinions. In fact, worrying too much about other people's opinions can, indeed, prevent us from seeing things clearly. Historical recounts as well as every day situations lived by many testify to this account.</p>
<p>Indeed, the effect of other people's thoughts can obscure one's perspective. One such example is Louis XIV reign preceding the uneventful and historically significant French Revolution. To please the aristocratic nobles that he cherished so dearly, Louis XIV allowed them to live off the royal treasury and without paying any form of taxation. Of course, this was to the detriment of the French people. Here, Louis XIV's desire to please his noblemen obscured his vision of his role as a statesman and the opinions of the aristocratic class prevented him from foreshadowing the disastrous events that would follow.</p>
<p>A second, and perhaps slightly more telling example, would be how young teenagers aspiring to great academic success cope with their situation. Often times, when the admission's process comes along in the Fall, teenagers are preoccupied by trying to impress college admission's officers. Many young students accomplish great feats in their lives; like my father says: "These kids have accomplished more in seventeen years that many families do in a generation." However, when these highly driven and successful teenagers are unfortunately denied admission to their top Colleges, they feel like failures. Here, the fact the students thing too much about the opinion of College admission's officers and obscure their view of their true accomplishments, emphasizes how opinions can obscure our view.</p>
<p>Indeed, historical and current events testify to the notion that "worrying too much about other people's opinions prevents us from seeing things clearly". Sometimes we should take a step back and adopt a broader perspective.</p>
<p>btw no "the" before other people's opinions in intro</p>
<p>PS: might be some more typos... I typed it up in 2 mins</p>