Post your crazy teacher stories

<p>hmm.. well,
our chem teacher made up songs about chemistry in her shrill-y voice.
my biology teacher came late one day, and ran into the classroom screaming her head off to give an intro to the peripheral nervous system.
my apush teacher dressed up as brittney spears with pink tights for spirit day
my spanish teacher has taught us all we need to know about cuss words and what not to say in a crowd
my english teacher is 6 ft tall and wears heels and threatens to squash us if we dont listen to her. She is so OCD about cleaning her room, one day a girl spilled coke on the floor and she immediately ran out of the room, to her office, with a bucket, some spray, and a scrubber and got on her hands and knees in the middle of a lesson to clean the floor. We tease her by posting flyers that say "Save trees, recycle Jane Eyre" because she loves that book, and everyone hates it.</p>

<p>thats about all i can think of.</p>

<p>oh yeah, and my spanish teacher made us read this horrible story " mi caballo mago" about some freakazoid 14 yr old guy who dreams about white horses...</p>

<p>Ooh, other stuff:</p>

<p>My chemistry teacher spent an entire class talking about the most effective ways to kill a cat (his favourite was putting it in a box with a small hole, waiting for it to stick its head out, then <em>BLAM</em> shotgun). He's a big guy, kind of outdoorsy, and always tells stories about hunting bears/other stuff. Also, he managed to cave in the ceiling of his dining room by standing above it. :/</p>

<p>I used to have a French teacher who was the easiest person in the world to get off topic. She told us her life story, brought in waffle irons to do cooking demonstrations, taught people how to ballroom dance, taught etiquette, talked about proper form for dating, and so on. While she was supposed to be teaching French. ;)</p>

<p>My English teacher is from England, and she is nuts. AWESOME teacher, but a little too crazy about Shakespeare. A couple of years ago, she was going over one of the plays (Macbeth or something) and asked this kid what he thought about the play. He said he thought it was boring, and she filled out a discipline paper and sent the kid to the headmaster.</p>

<p>chemistry teacher was walking by this girl & said,</p>

<p>"close your legs. your pussy smells."</p>

<p>some kid at my school made a site of teacher quotes @:</p>

<p><a href="http://ee.1asphost.com/buddyjesus/quotes.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://ee.1asphost.com/buddyjesus/quotes.html&lt;/a>
<a href="http://ee.1asphost.com/buddyjesus/quote-archive.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://ee.1asphost.com/buddyjesus/quote-archive.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>i forgot the other site, but yea lol. & my AP spanish teacher tell us "SHUT THE BLANK UP" + "STOP BEING AHOLES" + "STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR WEINER" etc. hahah.</p>

<p>my 7th grade history teacher:
-jumped on his desk and threw newspaper at us to demonstrate why cities built on hills do better (defense!)
-gave a kid two balls of graph paper, then armed himself with a giant shield and sword and said, "ok, try to get me." to demonstrate why rich societies do better in war
-made us carry a 25lb mosaic-tiled shield as a bathroom pass.</p>

<p>my 10th grade chem teacher spent a lesson teaching us about the addictive properties of various drugs (he had scholarly articles and everything)
he also let us toast marshmallows with the bunsen burners.</p>

<p>my english teacher this year let us have tea and storytime on fridays...she brought in children's books and everything. (we have her class last block before the weekend, we're a little nuts.)</p>

<p>First off, I'm someone who doesn't take well to stuffy environments.</p>

<p>I went to a Catholic school during the 3rd grade. Where my class was situated during Mass on Fridays during school, we were in front of the prayer candles at the front of the church. So this combination of smoke, incense, and the stuffy air was not good for me. My teacher got really angry because these smells made me sick, saying how she "never had a student before who felt sick in church!" and glared at me when I wouldn't come back inside.</p>

<p>She would also take hairbrushes at me once in a while if she deemed my hair too messy, saying how I should "clean myself better."</p>

<p>In addition to this, I had a classmate who left the school because that same teacher yelled at her for not doing her homework once. I think her mother had problems with the teacher in general and that there was more going on, but it was too long ago to remember. Anyway, she was fired the next year.</p>

<p>I wear a weight belt in school sometimes (for spring track training). One study hall, the teacher there said to me, "you look like a suicide bomber"</p>

<p>Post your crazy college stories at the Laugh My College Ass Off website (LMCAO.com) and you can win money if we like it! Whether it’s a drunken night, prank on your roommate, or a wild sexual encounter, post it and you can make money. Submit your story and read others now! LMCAO.com</p>

<p>In the first quarter of seventh grade, our science teacher had a baby and moved to Russia. So we got a long-term substitute… It turned out that she didn’t have the required experience to teach science (she usually subbed for English classes, for a day or two). She pretty much browsed the Internet all day and wouldn’t give us anything except worksheets that had nothing to do with the topic we were supposed to be studying. She also lost someone’s science fair project and he got an F. :x (Actually, that was pretty funny since I hated the guy, but it’s still kind of unfair.)</p>

<p>My principal was an ex-prostitute and ex-heroin addict. She was also an all-around awful principal and was gone before 2 school years had passed.</p>

<p>My AP Physics teacher would wear socks with sandals every single day, without fail. Whether it was 90 degrees and sunny or 5 degrees and snowing, he’d show up in wooly gray socks and Tevas.</p>

<p>My 9th grade Math teacher, would call us and other teachers “crack heads”, and when ever he would pick up the phone he would say “Looney Bin, head nut speaking” :p</p>

<p>My teacher was asking us about the language in 1984.</p>

<p>A student says an example
“Justin’s mom was double plus good last night.” the whole class was laughing. Then the teacher said, “Whose house do Winston and Julia visit about joining the brotherhood?” nothing but silence from the student, then the teacher said “I want an essay from you on 1984 due tomorrow, it better be double plus good if you want to pass this class.”</p>

<p>Epic</p>

<p>My sixth grade math teacher ripped up my homework because I was going over my answers, checking with a calculator, during a lesson that she was giving, because I already knew what she was talking about.</p>

<p>And my advanced math teacher when I was in fourth grade… Well, we heard a loud shriek. And then he cackled evilly and said something along the lines of the school being haunted, and it was just one of his fellow ghouls or ghosts.</p>

<p>My APUSH and freshman history teacher is basically Dr House as a teacher. He berates everyone, expects completely out of the box answers, and respects very few of his students. He would regularly kick desks to scare students and ask them if they were on crack. Also he reenacts Preston Brooks beating Charles sumner with a ruler every year on a student (not actually hitting them. He’s actually an amazing teacher though, I’ve never learned more in one class than I did from him.
The teacher I had for honors American lit used to do something with her classes called phallic Friday - students brought in examples of phalluses each week and discussed them.
Freshman English teacher assigned literally nothing the entire class, it was her first and only year of teaching freshmen, and she was a notoriously tough senior English teacher. However she didn’t make us do anything. All we did was “debate” the merits of different kinds of candy and listen to her tell us stories about her belly button exploding, being stalked, and working part-time at a private detective agency.
Honors chemistry: teacher liked to stand on desks, yell, and randomly burst into song. At least once a week we could expect a rant about how we were all going to fail at life and how we needed to study 2 hours a night for each class.
Honors freshman math: teacher once threw a desk at the wall and made a huge hole.
Ap euro: teacher talked about drug use, drinking, and breaking into restricted areas of German castles.
I’m not even going to get started on my health, gym, French, and physics teachers :/</p>

<p>My middle school teacher choked my friend and got expelled.</p>

<p>Our Free Enterprise teacher had an unhealthy obsession with animals. On the first day of school, she went into the hallway and came back with a handful of caterpillars that she had “saved” from death. She also told us the story of how, since she lives on the edge of a lake, she makes her children put on life vests whenever it storms just in case they get blown into the lake.</p>

<p>Also, one time during a lock down (it was a drill) at our school, she whipped out an iron crowbar from underneath her desk and stood by the door waiting on the “bad guy” to enter.</p>

<p>My 5th grade math teacher used to have 3 birds in his class inside a cage. I used to sit right next to this cage, and suddenly one afternoon the blue bird just collapses. After about 30 minutes where everyone is like ***, the teacher gets a paper towl, takes the dead bird from the cage and casually throws him in the garbage saying “Oh Well”.</p>

<p>3rd grade P.E. teacher got expelled after organizing a soccer tournament and getting overly stressed at the kids who couldn’t play and cursing at them saying they sucked basically.</p>

<p>9th grade eng teacher talked about her favorite alcohol drinks and her crazy college experiences at MSU.</p>

<p>9th grade hist teacher would tell us about his sex life and what not. LOL.</p>

<p>Overall, i haven’t had that many crazy teachers, it’s really me and my peers throughout elementary and middle school that made school a funny place to be.</p>

<p>A Physics teacher got caught sexting a student at my school.</p>

<p>Funny how in the yearbook he had a message like “I hope to work here all my life” or something like that, LMAO</p>

<p>LOL My bio teacher during freshman year tortured me! He made fun of ALOT of people, everyday. That was like my favorite class because even though i knew, the second i stepped into that door, i’d be made fun of. He was this old Japanese dude, and he always picked on me and made fun of me. I mean, of course, it was good nature and he never made me feel bad or anything, It was actually really funny, since im way taller than most people in my grade. </p>

<p>He did try to light me on fire with this lighter thing. I was looking the other direction, and he was right behind me with the lighter pressing it against my shirt and i jumped away yelling “WHAT THE *****KKKKKK!!!”. He was an awesome teacher though.</p>