<p>Everyone loves rehashing their favorite crazy teacher stories--and I mean crazy, as in nuts, not crazily hard.</p>
<p>In 8th grade, I had a (female) teacher who was 6 feet tall and a fairly substantial person. She wore this 4" needle-sharp spike heels every single day. And she was...crazy. One day, our homework assignment was to cut out a newspaper article for some reason. As she was walking around, collecting the articles, one fell on the ground, and she stepped on it. Oblivious, she began to slowly shred it with her left Spike of Death. Some girl in the class saw that it was hers, panicked, and pointed at the teacher's shoe, screaming, "Mrs. Oden! Mrs. Oden! Mrs. Oden!" Without looking down, the teacher SHRIEKED at the top of her lungs and jumped approximately six feet into the air.</p>
<p>In my French class, one girl forgot to use the subjunctive. My teacher stood up, slammed her fist on the desk, and hissed in the most demonic voice ever, "You. Will. Die. Now."</p>
<p>My teacher was drawing the Lewis-structure of a compound on the board while telling a story. He turned around and shrieked as he saw that he had drawn a carbon with five bonds...</p>
<p>I had a teacher in 5th and 6th grade who would always say "I'm gonna eat you!" to people. Now he's in jail for child porn. He also has a cannibalism fetish.</p>
<p>Um my GLOBAL teacher was calling Kim Jong-il Kim Jong the Second and told us all that AD meant after death... when I pointed that meant that the 3odd years in between the birth and death of Jesus were unaccounted for- she just said your wrong. My game I played in that class was to randomly insert naughty words into my essays and she never found them....hehe</p>
<p>Hm... I think the worst of mine was the one I've got now. She once was asked by a student in my class to clarify what an ad hominem was and gave a definition that boiled down to basically "logical fallacy." In an AP Lang class. Oh, and when I raised my hand and pointed out that it's a specialized type of fallacy, she told me point-blank I was wrong--until another girl in my class pointed out that it was defined in the book. :P Vindication is sweet. </p>
<p>I have also had several English teachers who chose to demonstrate what a verb is by jumping on the desks, throwing trash cans about, shoving a student against the wall, etc. I'm not sure if that's just my luck or if it's an English teacher thing. One of these was also firmly convinced that Romeo and Juliet was a comedy and went on extended diatribes on the subject. (I rather agree with him, but that could be because I hate the play.)</p>
<p>Oh, and there was the Bio teacher who kept a petrified cat and an aluminium-foil-covered beaker named Stiff Kitty and Oscar respectively in his room. (He used to use Stiff Kitty as a hall pass until its legs fell off outside the doors of other teachers and they made him stop, actually.) He used to say that when he died he wanted to be propped in the back of the room holding Stiff Kitty and Oscar. Heh, and he also helped write our Bio textbook, which is all kinds of awesome.</p>
<p>our AP chem teacher taught us how to cook meth</p>
<p>our phys/astronomy teacher told us all these storys about when he used to do acid(LSD back then i guess) and coke</p>
<p>our 1st chem hon teacher had a mental breakdown while we were taking our midterm, and our 2nd teacher didn't speak english. we watched the same movie every class.</p>
<p>my 9th grade geography teacher told us not to bother him because he's playing snood, and it's more important than teaching us.</p>
<p>the same physics teacher had a potato gun and shot one through the department head's brand new, new body mustang with paper tags.</p>
<p>those are all the good ones i can think of now</p>
<p>I remember when we were learning about "The Jungle" our History teacher wanted to simulate what it was like working in a factory. He split us off into 3 groups, and had use each draw parts of a train, to represent an assembly line. He turned off some of the lights, cranked up the heater and yelled at us the whole time. And if someone would screw up, he would take them to the side and make whoever was sitting next to them pick up the slack for a little while.</p>
<p>He was also my football coach, so I wasn't stunned by the yelling, it was fun because the group (my group) that made the most trains didn't have to take the test!</p>
<p>When we were studying 1984 in my English class this year, the teacher would force us to write in-class essays while blasting MC Hammer at max volume in order to "simulate the environment under Big Brother".</p>
<p>We have a teacher at my school that everybody knows is insane. He makes fun of kids because he has nothing better to do. As long as you don't act like your IQ is 50, he doesn't bother you. He gets mad at the dry-erase markers and throws them on the floor. If he wants your desk to sit on, he'll make you get up and move so that he can sit there. He tells us that we should all drop out and smoke pot so he can have smaller class sizes. Oh, and the average grade in the class is 38. Anybody from my school on here (and there's a bunch, huge school) should know exactly who I'm talking about and should have some good stories.</p>
<p>My math teacher. She's quite the character. Big, loud woman. Yells all the time, gets angry at all kinds of stuff, but doesn't actually mean it most of the time. The death threats are the most entertaining:</p>
<p>"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" "I WILL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW" "YOU ARE GOING TO DIE" and so forth.</p>
<p>She also likes to throw things. Chalk mostly, but occasionally bigger things
She once threw a textbook at me for making fun of someone. :D</p>
<p>My 9th grade Bio teacher got tired of all of us clicking our pens. She told us to sit them out on our desks. When we did, she walked around the classroom, picked up our pens, and threw them across the room.</p>
<p>My Theatre teacher let us build a "reading fort" in her room...that lasted until the principal found out. We later lit her room on fire. There was also one time where we were doing tribal dances in her room (because we were bored) and the principal walked in. When he asked to see her out in the hall she turned around to all of us and did this motion like "He never shuts up!" Ha it was great cause she's retiring and he can't do anything to her.</p>
<p>My history teacher is a cop and he tells us about all of the drunk people he catches on Friday nights.</p>
<p>My Computer teacher got mad at one student for cussing. She took him to the sink and actually washed his mouth out with soap...he didn't cuss again.</p>
<p>we had a substitute for english who wore a TON of makeup, no seriously, she looked like an anime cat manniquin. also, she had nails like three feet long and a disgusting shade of purple. all she did was KNIT the whole time!! she was crazzzzzzzzzzy....</p>
<p>my bio teacher screams and makes fun of people, but he's an AWESOME teacher. he is crazy tho... he poured acid on his hand to demonstrate how it eats away at the proteins, and he also feeds his gigantic boa constricter with live chickens.he also broke several tables and has a huge baseball bat which he uses to whack people and desks with. apart from snakes, he has rats, etc. his snake pees under people's desks, and snake pee smells incredibly bad!!!</p>