Seems many of us have adult kids getting married.
What are people seeing with regard to pre-nups?
How would you advise your kids/others close to you?
How much should you pay attorneys to draft them?
What should you consider?
Anything else interesting related to pre-nups?
All of the above and hopefully more to be discussed here.
I think that a prenup is in many cases a good idea. My wife and I signed a prenup before we were married. We have been married now for almost 30 years and neither of us could imagine life without each other. As such our prenup is never going to be used in anger.
Back before we were married I saw data that marriages with a prenup are less likely to end up in divorce compared to marriages without a prenup. One possible reason is that being able to rationally discuss financial issues is a good sign if you are intending to get married. Another possible reason is that a few engagements might fail over the inability to negotiate a prenup, and these might be potential marriages that were going to fail anyway. Thus trying to agree on a prenup might be a way to avoid a potential mistake.
We did not use a lawyer. I have no idea whether our prenup would have been worth anything in court. However, it did get us discussing issues that were worth discussing.
IMHO if you can’t agree on a prenup, you probably should not get married.
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We were in our late 30’s when we married. We had a pre nup because he came to relationship with a family property. I just wanted everyone to know I had no intention of ever trying to get that property if we divorced. Happily married 21+ years. I agree it shows the ability to discuss finances prior to marriage.
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My DD will be getting a prenup. We live in a community property state, she has no debt, and a fair amount of assets already. One of my lawyer friends will draft.
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I went through a divorce myself and had to give up 50% of my assets. My ex husband chose to stay home while I worked very hard to provide for the family. He went through his share very quickly.
When D1 decided to get marry I advised her to get a prenup. It’s not complicated. They have no claim on each other’s 401k. If both of them should agree to have one of them to stay home, they would fund that persons 401k. Their share of real estate is proportional to their investment. They have clause on their inheritance. My divorce lawyer drafted the prenup.
They have a child now, so I think their finance is probably more blurred. D1 is doing very well financially with her job. I hope the prenup will always stay in the safe, but it’s there if unexpected should happen.
D1 and her husband talked through a lot of things when working through the prenup. It clarified their financial expectations and how they wanted to live their lives.
When I get a chance I am going to talk to D1 about her will - to make sure she makes provisions for her kids along with her husband.
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We will advise our D to have a prenup when the time comes. She has no debt, is an only child, etc…
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Things like how to handle finances (specifically retirement accounts, but also other aspects) if one spouse stays home, and how to handle sale of real estate proceeds if one partner invests more up front are important considerations in my opinion.
If I understand correctly, inheritances generally belong to the person the inheritance was given to, unless the funds are co-mingled, but it’s still a good topic for consideration.
How about splitting of joint expenses? should it be done based on income level, or equal unless otherwise agreed to?
ETA - I started typing respond to old fort, but entire post wasn’t meant just for her.
I don’t believe that is the case in a community property state. Can someone more knowledgeable than I chime in?
They split based on income level. They have a joint account that they transfer money to each month to pay for household expenses.
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We will advise our D to have a prenup when the time comes. She has no debt, is an only child, etc…
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Not on my radar for my kids. Would not advise it. Do not have one for our marriage. Don’t know of anyone IRL who has one.
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Feels uncomfortable.
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That is what our DD and her husband do. Right now, their incomes are sort of equal. But DD has significantly more earning potential than her husband has.
We suggested a pre-nup. Don’t know what they decided to do.
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In my community property state, gifts and inheritance are not community property unless the recipient turns them into community property.
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Quick answer - YES !
As I understand it, a prenup can also be used to divvy up debts. For example, if one of the spouses likes to gamble in the stock markets on margin or likes to run up credit card bills, it can put the other spouse into a financial hole.
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How does a prenup work if one comes in with no student debt but the other comes is with student debt, say 50K or more with close to equal earnings. My daughter is just a freshman with no boyfriend. She should graduate with no debt. Just trying to think how this would work.
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Most commingle gifts and inheritances or use it to purchase a community asset. I’ve seen it become a problem quickly.
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Someone once told me that everyone who marries has a prenup. It’s just that if you don’t have one drafted by lawyers then you get the default one written for you by the state. And maybe for most people that’s good enough, but it’s food for thought.
Even with a prenup, retirement accounts may still be an issue. For many people in mid-life or later their biggest asset may be their retirement account(s). I’m not a lawyer, but it’s my understanding the regardless of a prenup a spouse must explicitly waive their share when you enroll in a 401K or pension else they own half in a divorce. Most people will change jobs a few times in their career. What do you do if your spouse signs the waiver when you’re first married but a couple of years later you change jobs and they decide not to sign? There may be ways to draft a prenup compelling them to sign, but trying to enforce that may in itself bring about a divorce!
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If the couple marries right after graduating with an MD or DVM, one might be graduating with no debt and the other might be graduating with $300,000 in debt.
I think that this is a very good question.
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