Interesting that actuaries (lowest risk) and gaming and casino managers (highest risk) are both people whose professions involve managing risk.
That page also says that 22% of divorces are due to money.
I think the gaming and casino managers are the people on the floor. They are not managing risk. They likely get caught up in the lifestyle. Lots of money, alcohol, drugs, and people looking to have a good time flying around.
2 Likes
If you need to āproveā this, thereās an issue already.
1 Like
This made me laugh. When we got married I had $500 in the bank which was $500 more than DH! No debt though, except for his used car payment. But no prenup here either. I wouldnāt look down on anyone having one or not.
3 Likes
Yeah, we were both broke when we got married. We chuckled at the end of our honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica when our waiter expected a big tip. Iām sure he thought all Americans were rich but we had no money at all.
2 Likes
When we got married we joked that I acquired half interest in a used Chevy and he got half interest in a set of hot rollers.
ETA - I think they are vital for couples with children from previous marriages.
1 Like
I think you are creating an issue out of nothing. Little actions can say a lot and that includes a prenup.
1 Like
Not sure I understand this. But I disagree that a person should need to prove that they are not marrying for money. I am not even sure whom theyāre supposed to āproveā it to. The intended, the intendedās family, the world?
I mean, if you have to āproveā something, then that almost automatically means there is doubt.
We considered suggesting it to our children. After talking with wealthy friends we decided it wasnāt necessary. My youngest works for a divorce attorney and she also felt it wasnāt necessary in our state. My kids have assets that were gifted to them and generate income. They came into the marriages with the assets so a spouse would have no claim on the asset. We have stressed the important of not commingling the funds. They deposit the distribution into sole and separate bank accounts. When my daughter bought her house she had a document signed and recorded with the court that the down payment money was her sole and separate property and would be returned to her if the property was sold or refinanced.
We also have made a point of gifting only to our child not the spouse.
Iāve signed quick claim deeds for things my spouse has been given by his parents.
Spousal support would be a different matter as it could be awarded based on maintaining a standard of living.
All my kids lived in a community property state so any income earnings from employment and savings would be considered community property.
2 Likes
Seems like that type of stuff is agreed to by the spouses in a similar way that a pre-nup would be, except less formally, and structured within the ādefault marriage contractā as specified by applicable laws.
Your example of the money for down payment is interesting. She gets it back, but she doesnāt get a larger percentage of the equity if the house goes up in value a fair amount? Or what if the value goes down - would she still get he $s back. The answers donāt really matter to me, itās just when I start thinking about what to write in a pre-nup, it gets complicated pretty quickly.
I did hear or read something recently that I thought made since related to retirement savings. If you have pre-marriage retirement funds, once youāre married you should stop investing in those funds (literally, the fund/EFT or whatever name), and invest in different ones, so you can easily differentiate pre and post marital.
5 Likes
The prenuptial agreement can be structured so the home equity payout āfollows the moneyā (proportionally to the downpayment). For example, if the $100k house was purchased with 20% ($20k) of one spouseās separate money, when the fully paid for house is sold for $500k after significant appreciation, that 20% down payment becomes their separate $100k, and the rest is split 50:50 between the spouses (at least in community property states) or whatever percentage the couple agrees upon.
6 Likes
In that situation (which is like treating the $100k like a loan from one spouse to the combined household), what if the house is sold for a loss, so that the equity after sale is less than the $100k?
Same deal. One makes an investment of sorts. Or it can be agreed upon that the person investing recoups the investment first. As long as it is not illegal, anything can be put into a contact.
1 Like
In my state an inheritance is not joint money unless it is put in a joint account. I know it is the same in Massachusett as it caused a great divide between my SIL and her H.
I brought up the down payment for the house issue, as that fell on son (and me). He gave me all kinds of reasons why that wouldnāt work, so I gave up. When you are in love, and wife is pregnant, nothing much a parent can do. I even mentioned having my $ attached to a private loan, and the answer was that it would be mostly his $ that would be paying me back, so no point.
Good luck to the rest of you.
1 Like
I like bunsenās description of āfollow the moneyā for house down payment. Thatās kind of what I did with my current husband. We donāt have a pre-nup, but we did discuss and write down/sign how we would handle the house, should we divorce/sell it. I realize it may not be enforceable, but at least I could āproveā we discussed it.
I have a friend who inherited a lot of money, and she feels strongly against pre-nups. Iāve never asked her if she co-mingled the funds, or if she put one of their homes in just her name bc the inherited funds paid for it. Not my businessā¦
We never had a pre-nup. Weād been together quite a while and had a pretty good handle on each otherās finances and attitudes about money. Itās been almost 40 years. My husband has generally earned more, but I inherited more, we recently finally rewrote our wills and set up trusts which did feel like a bit of a post-nup!
I think pre-Cana classes are a great idea, but not part of my cultural upbringing.
4 Likes
Many of you live in a different world from me, thatās for sure. My Hās father loaned us the down payment and gifted us fairly big (for us, probably not for you all) sums in both our names along the way. My mom had nothing, so I guess I was taking advantage.
Gonna use all the material here in a short story, I think. Itās fascinating. Sad, but fascinating.
The way it would work is very simple. If the down payment is 100k, one person puts in 30k, another puts in 70k, then it means each owns 30%/ 70% respectively. You could have each pay their proportional share of mortgage/taxes based on on their equity percentage or add up what each is paying plus the original investment. When they sell the house, each would get a percentage of profit/loss based on their investment. Itās no different if you had invested in a real estate with a friend.
1 Like