'Prestigious'/costly school vs. 'non-prestigious'/cheap school?

Parents Forum
1

<p>I know these topics are cliche as heck, but I'm pretty confused right now, and would like some adult perspective on this. I'm a high school student from Florida, trying to decide between Georgetown, and Cornell College (LAC, located in Iowa). </p>

<p>I got no aid from Georgetown; I did get a good scholarship from Cornell College. All told, I would probably have to pay about +$40,000 more per year for Georgetown. I am an only child, and my parents have an income of about +200k a year. They strongly encouraged me to go to Gtown, and said that they could fully afford to pay the tuition out of pocket. </p>

<p>However, I'm kind of uncomfortable with this for a few reasons: 1) My parents still have their own loans to pay off, and they are planning to invest in a business soon; I am not sure how much they have in retirement, and they absolutely refuse to tell me (they work hard, but spend freely), 2) I want to go to graduate school, and my parents claim they will pay for that as well, 3) Cornell College is smaller, and is a LAC; maybe this would offer me more opportunities to know professors, get research positions, etc.? 4) I don't want to be stressed at Gtown for 4 years, thinking about how much it's costing my parents to pay for my degree.</p>

<p>Another thing that worries me is that I'm kind of a poor student). I have terrible study habits due to some anxiety issues. I made do in high school (pulling many all-nighters due to procrastination, and with many Bs and Cs), but I need to shape up in college--especially since I'm thinking of med school. Would a small LAC be better for me than a competitive place like Georgetown? Then again, wouldn't a low GPA from Georgetown be better than a low GPA from Cornell College? I have no idea.</p>

<p>Both of my parents are Indian immigrants, and they are strenuously in favor of my going to Gtown--in fact, I don't think they'd even let me go to Cornell (they're extremely rankings-obsessed; they were fairly disappointed that I 'only' got into Georgetown and other 'okay' schools). </p>

<p>So, actually, where I go to school is basically out of my hands, but I'm still really unsure about this choice, and an outsider's perspective would be helpful. Thoughts?</p>

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<p>Did you get into other schools? If so, what are they? I’m asking because Cornell College, while a very good school, has a very different format: One course at a time. You take one class full time for a short period of time - 3 and a half weeks - followed by a short break and then another class full time and so on. It’s great if that’s what you want and like. It may improve your study habits or you may totally sink in that environment.</p>

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<p>Hello! My main concern in recommending Georgetown is that it is quite a competitive student atmosphere and if you don’t have good (or VERY good) study habits, you might find yourself adrift very quickly. Of course, like all universities, I’m sure Georgetown has some good resources available for their students - for example a Study Center, Writing Lab, Student Mentoring Center, etc. IF you made use of their resources, you might find you are able to get organized and develop valuable study habits. </p>

<p>My two sons are recent college grads, were excellent students in high school, but didn’t have the best study habits going into college - one went to a prestigious public university where he definitely struggled for a couple of years; son #2 went to a small private university where he also struggled, but where he eventually excelled because of his caring and helpful professors. Now he’s planning on med school. The take away? Maybe it’s better to go to the less prestigious school where there will be more accountability and less pressure so you can focus on both your academics and gaining the maturity necessary to do well in college and beyond.</p>

<p>As for med school, you will have to take the MCAT exam before applying to medical schools. You should also spend time volunteering/interning/working during your undergrad years in areas that show your interest in medicine and in helping people in general. Grades are very important - I think the minimum is around a 3.5 college GPA in a major like biology or bio-chem, etc. Given what you say above, it may be much to your advantage to go to the less stressful school, focus on getting good grades in those difficult pre-med subjects, so that when you apply to med school you will have a high GPA, good study habits, and a seriousness gained from your growing maturity. I think it is better to get high grades from any school than poor grades from a prestigious one.</p>

<p>It can be very confusing and stressful, deciding between these two choices. I know you feel like you only get one shot so it better be the right one. But maybe there isn’t really a “right” choice, just two good ones! Either way, you’ll go to college, get a good education (you absolutely don’t need to go to a prestigious college for that), and most importantly, use it to your benefit and the good of others. That’s really something to get excited about!</p>

<p>The very best to you!</p>

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<p>Have you visited both schools? I am a strong believer in getting your feet on campus and spending enough time to see if you can picture yourself living there for 4 years. People watch to find what types of people are there (artsy, nerdy, jocks, greek life, etc.) and does the surrounding area suit you (small campus/small town vs. the large DC area). </p>

<p>I didn’t know about how Cornell teaches one course at a time, but that sounds like a easier way to stay focused and get a good grade on each course. I took a May term course once, and the final exam was so much easier, since I was only having to remember what the professor said 3 weeks ago vs. 16 weeks ago. And focusing on only one class helped me make sense of a difficult topic.</p>

<p>I would ask to speak with several Cornell students to get feedback on the reality of their academic system. I’m sure there are pros and cons to such a different way to learn in college.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p><a href=“If you are in high school, please read this before posting - Pre-Med Topics - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/pre-med-topics/1484178-if-you-are-in-high-school-please-read-this-before-posting-p1.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Please read, helpful info for pre-meds. Pre-med forum on CC has many threads addressing the pre-med quandry of which school.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Are your parents encouraging the med school idea, or is that something you really want to do? I am hoping you can go to college and have a chance to explore, discover and study what you want to study, meaning what you find interesting, without the added pressure of thinking about getting into med school. Many high school students think they want to be doctors (and/or their parents want them to) and many, even most, change their minds.</p>

<p>It sounds like you are afraid of failing and wasting your parents’ money because of your anxiety and procrastination issues. It sounds like you feel there is less danger of this at Cornell, both because it does not cost as much, and because it may be less difficult.</p>

<p>If the prospect of going to Georgetown is making you lose sleep over these issues, there are two ways to go. Listen to this and take action based on what may be a really smart intuition, meaning, go to Cornell. OR before heading to college, look at the anxiety and work habits, get evaluated, seek support or even accommodations (if you have a documented problem like anxiety or possibly ADD/ADHD, you can visit the disabilities office and get help and accommodations to make Georgetown less threatening), and approach Gerogetown in a position that is empowered, not helpless.</p>

<p>Can you enlist a third party, like a counselor, to discuss this with you and your parents. It doesn’t sound like you have a choice right now, but if a counselor, guidance person, or therapist could meet with the three of you it might help them see that the other option, Cornell, might be helpful. If you think that is the case.</p>

<p>You cannot live life always thinking about how to ensure future success: that in itself engenders anxiety. When you do go off on your own to a campus, I am hoping it can be free of some of that pressure so you can find yourself a bit. Just my two cents.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the replies. It gave me something to think about.</p>

<p>@SlackerMomMD
I was also accepted to Wake Forest, CMU, Emory, NYU, and William and Mary; no aid at any of these schools. I thought about NYU and Emory, but decided that I preferred Georgetown.</p>

<p>I knew about Cornell College’s OCAT program before I applied; I thought it sounded like a good way for me to keep focused rather than get overwhelmed, but I have no first-hand experience. For all I know, it could be even worse.</p>

<p>@compmom </p>

<p>My parents are not open at all to the idea of counselling or therapy or anything (I’ve tried discussing it with them before). They think that I’m just not strong-willed enough, ha.</p>

<p>Admittedly, I think doing premed is a pretty disastrous idea. I had two 2 Cs in high school, both in the sciences (dropped my UW GPA from a 4.0 to a 3.8). To think that I could get a great GPA in college in the field that I am worst at seems like magical thinking, even to myself. However, I’m not sure what else to do? I kind of grew up with the idea that I was going to become a doctor (my mom’s a doctor, and my dad is a dentist). I don’t know where to find information about other careers. My school’s guidance center is notoriously bad. And I know that if I really tank in college, I’m going to feel guilty if my parents paid all that money. </p>

<p>Which is why I’m thinking I should go to Cornell College. But maybe that’s a bad reason to choose a college. </p>

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<p>@comucopias, choosing a college because you think it will fit your learning style better and ultimately lead to a less stressful and more successful life is a GOOD reason to choose one college over another. </p>

<p>It sounds like you would blossom at a school like Cornell College. Based on my own experience, I think the one-course-at-a-time structure fits people who have focus problems well. It also gives you a chance to immerse yourself in a subject, which could help you identify your passions. But it is a very different way to approach learning, which you should give some thought to. Talk to students/faculty at Cornell. Given the unorthodox approach, I’m sure they’re used to it. And based on the merit aid package they offered, it sounds like you’re a student they want to be part of their community.</p>

<p>Good luck…I’m sure you and your parents will figure it out. We parents want the best for our kids; it just takes us a while sometimes to realize that what we think is the best and what actually is the best may be slightly different. (Been there, done that.) </p>

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<p>Oh, and if it helps. Here in the midwest, Cornell College has a great reputation for graduates who are bright and creative. While it doesn’t have the marquee value of GT, it’s a known and respected name. </p>

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<p>OP, it sounds like you want to go to Cornell College. I think very highly of you for looking at your situation so objectively. You are assessing yourself as a student and asking excellent questions. I also think it is extremely mature of you to consider your parents’ financial situation.</p>

<p>Can you think of an adult whom you trust and who could be an intermediary between you and your parents? </p>

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<p>You have a lot of excellent choices. Good job with all the acceptances! Cornell may very well be the best place for you. I’m just curious. So why not Wake Forest, William and Mary or CMU?</p>

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<p>I know a young person who was in a similar situation with, dare I say, similar cultural expectations from parents. he went to a top notch school that was a bad fit for him and suffered a lot, honestly. He is finally seeing a therapist. I am not suggesting a specific kind of help, only that, as someone else put it, an adult intermediary might help the situation since it is unlikely your parents will let you choose.</p>

<p>I think Cornell sounds like a great choice but I also think Georgetown could work with the proper supports, so I am not urging one or the other. </p>

<p>I am guessing also that your parents would not be open to you being evaluated for your procrastination, anxety or anything else. I cannot emphasize enough how much better an experience you can have with goals that fit your learning style and information in the form of an evaluation in case some supports will help you wherever you land.</p>

<p>Clearly you are bright and accomplished. Your acceptances were impressive. But I hope you can go somewhere and enjoy it, to some extent free from the pressures you are under.</p>

<p>The goal of being a doctor can sometimes be cultural, because in some places being a doctor is considered an honor and prestigious. But it can, for some, reflect a lack of sophistication about career choices, which you yourself are articulating. If there are classes that you take that awaken an interest, try doing some internships or volunteering in ways that enhance that interest. That is the best job preparation I think.</p>

<p>You do not have to know what you are going to be right now, or even for a few years. The job market is diverse and complex. Just look on Craigslist sometime to get an idea.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>A few things I heard from friends and 3 former roommates who are all medical doctors:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Med school admissions is mainly MCAT & GPA…school name doesn’t matter a whole lot. </p></li>
<li><p>You don’t necessarily need to major in biology or other typical science oriented majors. One can major in a humanities/social science while completing pre-med core requirements. In fact, several medical doctor friends would strongly recommend this if you’re more humanities/social science oriented as a humanities/social science major pre-med with strong GPA/MCATs will stand out come med school admissions time. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Incidentally, my childhood pediatrician is a living example…a history major from an LAC similar to Cornell College. </p>

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<p>I have spent some time at Cornell and would encouarage you not to look at it as easier- when you visit you will get the feeling right away that the students are bright and work really hard. Cornell sends a lot of kids to med school or top grad schools. Many kids there would describe themselves like you though- many have issues with focus and multi-tasking and really thrive being fully immersed in one subject at a time. I know a couple of parents, professional types, who were pleasantly surprised when they went for a visit…this is a small school, but the students are very engaged in learning. You really can’t procastinate here, the material moves so fast you just won’t be able to. It is common to spend a few hours a night on homework- but you don’t need to decide how much time to give each class, you just get done with whatever needs to be done for the one class. Kids will tell you that being sick is touch, because if you miss one day of class, you have missed four hours, so it is like missing a full week of the class. </p>

<p>I also think you sound like you are very wise in thinking about the financial part- many parents have not really processed the reality of what it is like to pay those huge bills every year. Also, Cornell offers MANY opportinities to study off campus- they will go to Chicago for three weeks for a theater class, go to Florida for a biology class etc, These are optional but if you had the funds to do a couple of your classes this way each year it would certainly add to your experience.</p>

<p>Finally, they do have a good setup for career counseling there. It does not sound to me like you really want to be a Dr…they can help you explore different paths to find something you may be more happy and successful doing it. Maybe you will decid on medicine, but you should do so after considering all of your options. I would encouarge you to visit with at least one of your parents, But warn them, the town is very, very small. If they are at least somewhat open to the idea, though, I think they may be impressed. Good luck yto you!</p>

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<p>@OP - I can relate to the cultural pressure to attend top ranked universities, as well, as the parental push to be a doctor. My parents are Indian. I received the same pressure as did my 3 other siblings. We were first generation. I was one of the first to attend college amongst my parents’ friends. My parents were very persistent and pushed and shoved all kinds of pressure on me for years. They were completely embarrassed by my choosing of career and college. I ended up doing basically what I wanted and so did my siblings. Not one of us became a doctor like our Father. Although, my brother did attend college to head towards the premed track. He changed majors within one semester to computer science. My father was not happy at the time. We were all a disappointment at the time. </p>

<p>Guess what? We are just as successful if not more than the other kid that attended Ivies and the top universities. Our mental health, our marriages, our careers and our financial situation all show how successful we are today. My parents realized this over time. In fact, my parents friends have/had approached them and asked how and why they got so lucky to have raised great kids. Ha, ha I do have to remind my Mother that it really wasnt easy for us with all the pressure. She forgets all of that stuff. They were just so concerned what everybody was going to think. Sometimes you just have to break the expected rules and disappoint them to live your life. I am so happy I did…even marriage wise (well that’s a whole another stressful story). </p>

<p>You would think my Mom would have learned. Believe me that parental pressure doesn’t completely end. My Mother (my Father passed on 2 yrs ago) now is pressuring me to send our kids off to the best schools. I can tell she means “very ranked named schools”. I remind her that this is our choosing and I will not be that way with my own children. She understands.</p>

<p>I’m pretty sure if you told your parents that you weren’t attending college if the choice is Gtown that they would be very happy to pay for Cornell College. No college is usually not an option. :wink: </p>

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<p>Well, it’s not that I necessarily want to go to Cornell College more than Georgetown. The problem is just the money. I’m paranoid that I’ll fail in college because I have no idea what I want to do, and my parents will have paid the extra for nothing. If I only knew what I wanted, and had the confidence that I would succeed, then I wouldn’t be so indecisive. Unfortunately, just thinking about four more years of academics and sleep deprivation and studying makes me feel exhausted and defeated; I’m either not smart enough, or I don’t have the strength of will necessary to succeed. I have a similar problem with my career choice. I don’t want to be a doctor, but then again, I don’t really have a career I’m passionate about. So why not doctor? Why not anything?</p>

<p>It’s so strange, too, because all of my friends seem to be so assured in what they want, and where they’re going in life, and I’m still just aimless. As much as I disliked high school, I’m actually pretty terrified of leaving. My friends don’t understand, since they’re eager to get going to college. My parents definitely don’t understand, since they are really ambitious and hardworking, and are completely bewildered by my poor grades. Given all of this, what am I supposed to do? Does anyone know a website or some other resource that could help me explore job options? </p>

<p>Also, I am thinking of getting counselling in college (even though my parents strongly discourage me from doing so). Is this something that is usually provided by schools?</p>

<p>(Gosh, this turned out to be quite long and whiny. Sorry; I just don’t know what to do right now).</p>

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<p>Counseling is provided by schools. You can go online and see what counseling services are provided by the schools you are considering. Also, when you turn 18 all of your health information is confidential and your parents will not be notified of services or assistance you receive. As a high school senior, it is understandable that you don’t know what you want to do for a career. Colleges also have career services offices which can be very helpful. As you take different classes, you may also get a better idea of what you enjoy and where you want to focus. </p>

<p>Can you go to accepted students days at both schools (maybe even add a third choice) and see what you think after spending time on the campuses? You can ask questions, talk to students and professors, see what supports are available. </p>

<p>Congratulations, you have been accepted to some great schools. They believe you will be able to succeed at their colleges. They want you to succeed and will help you succeed. Remember that-</p>

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<p>Not whiney…you’re thinking about your future. Being thoughtful and introspective is a good thing. I wish I could give you advice about where to look in your area for resources. Could you talk to your guidance counselor? Would he or she be able to point you to other places? </p>

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<p>Oh my gosh @cornucopias you seem like an amazing young person! You are very smart to be considering all of the important factors in your decision. </p>

<p>First of all let me put in my perspective as parent - I think it’s GREAT that you don’t know what you want to do! Don’t worry because going to college will help you explore and figure out your future path. I can’t tell you how often I hear people say that they knew where they were headed in high school, but only figured out after graduating from college that they hated the career they chose. </p>

<p>You are very smart to realize that $40k per year x 4 years = $160k is a whole Lot of Money! Your parents must really love you but it is not smart to spend that much extra for a college degree when you can get the same for that much less. </p>

<p>Also I don’t know how you created your list of colleges but I recognize the name Cornell College from Loren Pope’s Colleges That Change Lives. Do you know about this book? You may want to check out the website at least: </p>

<p><a href=“Cornell College – Colleges That Change Lives”>http://www.ctcl.org/colleges/cornell&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Colleges That Change Lives are schools known for their intimate and supportive environments where students get personal attention and are able to flourish. It seems to me that Cornell may be just the place for you to figure out who you are and where you are going. And how wonderful if you can save the $160k for your parents or you to invest in something that will give you a return on investment! Good luck to you - </p>

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<p>You are not a “mediocre” student with those grades and acceptances. Please don’t sell yourself short describing yourself that way. You rock!</p>