<p>Hi all!</p>
<p>I'm applying to Ivy League schools and wondering how commonplace language such as this is at specific Ivies. Personal accounts would be really helpful.</p>
<p>Thanks
A</p>
<p>I went to Emory, generally considered just below the Ivies. The only time I ever heard “that’s so gay” was when a gay guy was talking about hooking up with and/or dating another man, and then it was only meant in jest. If anyone would have said the phrase, and meant it to be synonymous with “stop being such an idiot”, others would have immediately called the speaker out on his or her homophobia. </p>
<p>I’m on the west coast so I can’t tell you about the Ivies, but the phrase, “That’s so gay” seems to have peaked several years ago and since faded away. I can imagine that if someone said it at Stanford, other students would roll their eyes simply because it was so trite and unoriginal.</p>
<p>My daughter used to say it every so often about 10 years ago when she was in high school, but I haven’t heard her say in a long time.</p>
<p>@whenhen That’s good to know. The phrase, “That’s so gay” didn’t used to bother me that much, but I’ve realised that when educated people say it, they know that they’re offending others, whereas often when uneducated people use homophobic phrases they’re not fully aware of how rude it is!</p>
<p>It’s a colloquialism that really has nothing to do with sexual orientation. The phrase doesn’t seem to be used as much as it used to be, but I still hear it. You should really try not to let such things get to you. When people say “that’s so gay” in reference to a teacher moving an exam forward or something like that…they are not suggesting that “this is horrible, just like gay people are horrible.” They’re simply using a phrase that has often been used in reference to something that sucks. Political correctness can be a good thing, but it can also be taken a bit too far. </p>
<p>@comfortablycurt I used to think it was acceptable, but I have come to the solid conclusion that it is definitely not. In this day and age, people KNOW that it’s considered offensive and hurtful to gay people, especially if they are educated, so if they say it, they know how others will feel. This is NOT political correctness taken too far - it’s merely about manners and respectfulness. What university do you go to? I certainly do not want to be around students who are immature and ignorant enough to be saying “That’s so gay” in their late teens/ twenties.</p>
<p>It is political correctness taken too far. In all honesty, I hear it from gay people probably just as much as from straight people. </p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I haven’t heard that phrase since middle school (when people seemed to say it all the time). Whether or not, it’s because it’s becoming less prevalent or because my friends never really said it to begin with, I don’t know. My friends who went to Ivy League schools never really heard it.</p>
<p>That being said, I don’t think you should really worry too much about this when choosing a school to go to, just like you wouldn’t take a poll of everyone’s choice of expression when choosing a place to move. I think it would be much better to learn ways to deal with it in a respectful way (if the way you’ve responded to other people in this thread is any example of how you might speak to people outside of this forum) than to try to avoid it everywhere in your life. A simple “I’d prefer if you didn’t use that phrase” is fine, and if people use it in spite of you, then just don’t spend time with them anymore. I don’t think it’s going to be such an epidemic that it’ll be impossible to get away from.</p>
<p>Also, there has to be a line somewhere, and everyone’s line is somewhere different. You feel like “That’s so gay” is a homophobic and offense phrases. Other people don’t. I think understanding the intent of what someone is saying is more important than the actual words they use is more important (just like I don’t find the need to point out when someone misspeaks and uses the wrong word when it’s obvious what they mean), but other people feel like the words we choose is very important, particularly in different situations. Both positions are fine. If people know you find offense at “That’s so gay,” then most people will stop saying it (or at least try to). If they don’t, then you don’t have to spend time with them anymore. It’s the same when people take offense at the word “retarded” and ask people not to use it. You could do this with any number of words that colloquially mean something different than where they were derived and could be very offensive, like “dumb” or “gypped.” I’ve had friends who didn’t like me using “hell” or “God” in a cavalier way, and I’ve even had people ask me not to say “jeez” because it was short for Jesus.</p>
<p>Everyone has a different line, and all you have to do is ask people to be respectful of where your line is. You don’t have to go around calling people immature and ignorant just because they use an expression that you take offense at, even they don’t mean it in an offensive way. Take someone’s intent for what it’s worth, and ask them to try to use another expression, if you are sensitive to it.</p>
<p>Yeah, echoing others, this shouldn’t be any sort of factor in picking a college especially since it will be the same at most. But yeah, I have yet to hear thats so gay in my entire first semester of a school in the Top 20 - 50 tier. Also in the northeast, its more cultural / location than level of the school. I would suspect you’d hear it a bit more in some locations than others, and even then still very minimal.</p>
<p>Focus on the academics, the campus feel, the resources for postgrad, etc when picking a school. Don’t overthink it too much.</p>
<p>Also, for what its worth, seeing a few of your posts now:</p>
<p>Sexuality isn’t something I would worry about at all. Almost every college you are probably looking at is at minimum leaning liberal slightly if not incredibly. The places in America where sexual orientation would come into play are not going to overlap with the schools you are looking at. I think what we want in an ideal world is one where no one even thinks twice about who someone likes and you will get that at all of these colleges you’re looking at. Basically, I would write this entire category off your radar and focus on the other aspects of the universities that will have a much bigger effect on your daily life.</p>
<p>If this is a seriously a factor in choosing a school to go to, then you need to learn a bit about toughening up and not letting things get to you. You’re going to be around things that you find objectionable for your entire life. What happens if you get a job someday and hear your boss say some kind of phrase that you find to be politically incorrect? Are you going to quit your job and file charges against your boss? Or are you going to shrug it off and just move on? I strongly suggest the latter. What if you find a school, then get there and hear someone say “that’s so gay?” Are you going to transfer? </p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I have several gay friends that use this phrase far more than any straight people I know.</p>
<p>So many things are offensive to somebody these days. A black person isn’t supposed to be called a black person anymore. They’re African Americans, even though the majority of the “African Americans” in the US have never even left the US, let alone been to Africa. People from the Oriental regions of the world are not supposed to be called Oriental anymore, even though many of them refer to themselves as Oriental. </p>
<p>“In this day and age, people KNOW that it’s considered offensive and hurtful to gay people,”</p>
<p>Only if it’s meant to be offensive and hurtful to gay people. It is a colloquialism. When most people use the phrase, they are not even considering the fact that it is at all related to a sexual orientation or any implications thereof. </p>
<p>I hear it quite a bit at Duke-- even when we tell people it’s offensive and even when people excuse themselves from those conversations. However, the phrase tends to come up in certain populations; it’s not a great effort for me to not be in those areas and to choose spaces where people are more intentional and thoughtful about what they say.</p>
<p>To be honest, I don’t care what the intention the speaker has when they use the phrase, “That’s so gay,” (or, they call me an Oriental, which is incredibly offensive to me, as a Chinese-American). What’s important is not that the person didn’t mean it, but what’s important is how somebody may be affected by it. Just because it takes nominally more effort for you to say ‘That’s silly’ or ‘That’s stupid’ instead of ‘That’s so gay’ isn’t a valid reason for you continuing to use it and create an unsafe space. Somebody not meaning something to be offensive doesn’t make it any less offensive when I hear it.</p>
<p>(and what the heck are the ‘oriental’ regions of the world?)</p>
<p>I never hear it at UPenn. I also had a class where we spent a day talking about why it’s bad to say. </p>
<p>The oriental regions of the world are the Eastern portions of the world in relation to Europe. Orient means literally “the east” and derives from Orion, or ‘rising’ i.e. rising in the east. This is why “Oriental food” is a designation for Asian foods. More colloquially speaking (with regards to the US), it typically refers to the Far East, i.e. China, Japan, Korea, and others. </p>
<p>Oriental wasn’t even considered an offensive term until about 40-50 years ago when people decided that it was offensive. The offensive nature of it came essentially from the Vietnam War when people took the term Oriental in reference to the Vietnamese as a way of racializing or dehumanizing them. It hasn’t been until recent times that the notion of it being an offensive term has really been widely known though. </p>
<p>These things change. It used to be proper to call a black person a negro. If you called them black, it would be considered deeply offensive. But if you call a black person a negro today, you’re going to be branded as racist. Even though the two words mean literally the same thing in different languages. </p>
<p>I mean, it seems pretty rude to have a gay person saying they don’t like hearing the word, and then insisting on using it anyway because…why? Because you feel like you should have the right? I teach ninth graders and we talked about this during a recent unit. Two students told me they hated hearing “that’s so gay,” so as a teacher, should I have just told them to suck it up and said it anyway? I agree that the world isn’t going to change overnight and realistically, people need to deal with it and understand that it’ll happen. But that doesn’t mean <em>we</em> should keep using it when there are plenty of other words to use.</p>
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<p>Lol, I was going to say something along the same line… It was a common phrase when I was in high school back in '00-'04 timeframe. I didn’t realize it was still being used.</p>
<p>Although just the other day I overheard some teenager say “hella tight”. Talk about another throwback…</p>
<p>@nickxx Political correctness taken too far? Yes, not being able to say “That’s so gay” is a massive infringement on your rights! How ridiculous is the prospect that you wouldn’t be able to use such common, innocuous language?!</p>
<p>Lol. You must be very backward.</p>
<p>@comfortablycurt Congratulations on googling the origins of the term “oriental” in connection to race. There’s something that you don’t really seem to be catching, though. Minorities themselves deem the acceptable terms we can use to describe them; other people don’t call those shots. It doesn’t take any effort to stop using phrases that are considered offensive by others. The only things that fuel their use is naivety, ignorance, prejudice and downright rudeness and laziness. </p>
<p>@rebeccar That’s great to hear! </p>
<p>To prevent this discussion steering off topic, I shall clarify that I’m not picking schools on the basis of if the phrase “That’s so gay” is used, but I definitely won’t be applying anywhere where it is used frequently and its usage seen as acceptable. It is clearly offensive - if my teacher said it in such a way, they would lose their job. </p>
<p>All I asked for is comments on the prevalence of homophobic language. :)</p>
<p>So…if white people decide that the term ‘white’ is racially offensive, will people stop using it? I find the term ‘straight’ to be offensive as well. Please stop using it. </p>
<p>You don’t agree, and you don’t have to. But this is political correctness gone wild. People are no longer allowed to use useful descriptors because somebody, somewhere is offended by it. </p>
<p>I should walk into a couple of the Oriental restaurants in my town and tell them that they need to change their signs. They advertise themselves as selling “Oriental food.” I need to let them know that they should be offended by such things. </p>
<p>Point being, not everyone agrees with you. You can be offended by it if you’d like. Or you can not be offended by it. Your choice. </p>