<p>Last year I was applying to another school here in the UK because I wasn't happy with the way my current school was working. When it came time to give recommendations, my head-teacher (principal) said that he didn't want me leaving the school because I was a great student. So I made the biggest mistake, and didn't apply. This year, I don't want to make the same mistake again - Recommendation time is coming up, and my dad's scheduled a meeting with the principal to explain why I'm leaving, and why HE needs to give me a recommendation this time around. I have a feeling that my teachers won't want me to leave and will give me a bad rec! And my principal will probably call me from class to 'confront' me about why I want to leave. What do I do? The school I'm going to will have an american curriculum and my current school is british. I know my principal will say that you won't get better quality education blah blah blah, but I really want to leave this school! I hate it!!!</p>
<p>In the US, the governing “trade association” of independent schools is NAIS. You should investigate whether or not there is a similar governing body in the UK. See point # 8 on this link [url=<a href=“http://www.nais.org/admission/seriesdoc.cfm?itemnumber=146282&sn.ItemNumber=142476]Admission[/url”>http://www.nais.org/admission/seriesdoc.cfm?itemnumber=146282&sn.ItemNumber=142476]Admission[/url</a>] Of course, this is for the US and does not apply to the UK. However, I suspect that there is something similar in the UK. Good luck with your discussion!</p>
<p>It might help your nerves to “role-play” the meeting with the principal with your parents. Often something we dread isn’t that bad, if we’ve prepared ourselves. Talk with your parents about your nerves. They know the local situation, and they can guess at the points the principal might raise.</p>
<p>Your worries might be groundless. When parents support a child’s desire to change schools, it helps schools to see it as a thoughtful, reasoned response to a situation. Rather than deciding you know what your principal will think or say, pretend that everyone is working together to find the right solution for you. Try to see the conversation as a dialog about your best route through the time before university.</p>
<p>That also means that you should listen to the principal’s reasons for counseling you to stay at the school. Work with your parents on describing your reasons to change schools in more complete and less emotional terms than, “I hate it!” Unfortunately (as an adult, I apologize) when a teen says something so emotional, many adults stop listening to what they are saying. It could be that your current school changes radically in later grades. Your principal might also know more about the school you’d like to change to, which he can only convey in a meeting. Think of perhaps offering to leave the room at some point, to allow the adults to speak privately. As you need the principal’s recommendation to change schools, it is to your advantage to present yourself as a rational and mature near-adult.</p>
<p>@Periwinkle, I would never, ever say ‘I hate it!’ in front of the principal, I know that it would completely ruin my reputation as a student, and my parents are supporting my decision to apply. I’ve been at the school for almost 3 years now and it’s been the worst decision of my life. I’ve been trying to change since the first year I was there, and now it’s do or die. In the circumstance that I’m not accepted at the school I’m applying, I’ll be staying at my school, so I appreciate the advice about presenting myself as a rational and mature near-adult.</p>
<p>I agree - if there is a governing body, or a district office - have your parents appeal there. Make sure you explain to the “new” school what is happening.</p>
<p>My D’s school routinely sabotages the applications of students who are trying to leave. She was one of the few students scoring advanced on State exams and her other test scores were helping to keep up the school average at a time when the district was desperate to keep students from leaving. I’m mentoring several students who are trying to get out and follow in my daughter’s footsteps and they’re having the same problems. </p>
<p>This is when your parents are going to have to intervene and appeal the problem up to the top levels.</p>
<p>That sounds very difficult. Stick to your guns, but try not to “hurt his feelings” so to speak. Let your teachers know that you have enjoyed their classes, but you want more than anything to apply to whichever school. If you really are a good student, and your teachers are in the least bit reasonable they will write you excellent recommendations. Don’t make the same mistake you made last year. Best of luck.</p>
<p>I have same problem, though this being religious, and I opted to not even tell my principal at all, :P</p>