Private Loans and monthly bills? College student looking to be independent.

Paying for College
1

<p>Ok, so say if I took out a ~40k loan with Sallie Mae and it was cosigned by my parents. </p>

<p>I really want to get the heck out of my parents' house and live on my own, but I'll be drowning in debt if I attempt that (I'll probably have 65k in debt including government loans). I have 2 years left and then I will graduate in Spring 2014.</p>

<p>/Rant/</p>

<p>If I decide to leave my parents, they will obviously cut me off or try to convince me by messing with my emotions to get me to come back. This is why I seriously can't stand living with them, they psychologically put too much stress on me and I can't be an independent man. I'm 20 flippin years old with 2 years of college left and I have a curfew at around 8 o clock.</p>

<p>If I'm out for more than 2 hours, my parents tell me that I've been hanging out too long with my friends. My friends always tell me "Dude, you're twenty years old!! Why can't you just do what you want to do??"</p>

<p>Ever since I went to college, I've had occasional breakouts on my face, but it's always treatable.</p>

<p>When I'm at home, my acne becomes even worse. My parents yell at me for no reason, make me do an absurd amount of chores , and won't let me hang out with my high school friends when I'm home. They expect the house to be clean and they take me EVERYWHERE with them. The mall, the grocery store, etc YOU NAME IT!</p>

<p>To make matters worse, when they see my acne, they blame it on me and yell at me about it. They don't let me use any face wash, cream, or moisturizer because they are tree huggers and they say those products have too many chemicals in them (they are wrong because when I tried them in college they worked for me). </p>

<p>During breaks my parents wake me up at 4 or 5 for no apparent reason and tell me I shouldnt be sleeping all day. They also try to check my texts and phone calls, but I put a pass code on my phone. They threaten to take my phone every time I "act up" in their opinion. Bed time is 8:30-9:00 always.</p>

<p>When I sleep at my house, I have nightmares about something going wrong in my life and sometimes I end up grinding my teeth while I'm asleep. My teeth are fine though and I went to a dentist last week and he was surprised that my teeth were in such good shape (surprise surprise).</p>

<p>NONE OF THIS happens when I'm at college. When I'm away from college I can't hang out with my high school friends (my best friends back home), I can't do what I want, my parents get mad if I do any thing recreational, and they psychologically torture me.</p>

<p>First few times they found out in high school that I had a girlfriend they flipped out because she wasn't Chinese (she was white). My parents are racist and they said some pretty nasty things in regards to her race and yelled at me all night long when I came back from seeing a movie with her (they occasionally let me watch a movie with my friends).</p>

<p>Then they proceeded to make fun of me about it and tease me everyday about having a gf, but not letting me see her. I had to break up with her just because of this and I couldn't explain it to her because it was an awkward situation. I felt so bad.</p>

<p>I think this is just some BS. They are such bad parents that I want them out of my lives for good. This will have an effect on their reputation because my family is huge and they gossip like none other. I'm willing to leave all of that behind to live a new life as an independent man.</p>

<p>/End Rant/...</p>

<p>If I decide to cut them off right after college and find a job, would I be able to live by myself or maybe even a roommate? I would have 65k in loans, but what if I only decided to pay HALF of the Sallie Mae loan and let them pay for the rest of it?</p>

<p>Wouldn't they be forced to pay it because it's partially their responsibility as well?</p>

<p>I think this is a good way for me to sustain myself. Once I find a better job I'll probably end up paying the full monthly fee.</p>

<p>The problem is that I just want to get out as soon as possible. I can't stand it. I don't know how I'll live on my own. My parents buy my insurance and I don't know how that stuff works. I wouldn't have a car.</p>

<p>I have friends that have cars and they would be willing to help me out, but they can only do that for so long. My parents would want every single item that they've ever bought, so I would leave my home only wearing the clothes I have and anything I bought with my own money (which is probably my guitar and my guitar amp).</p>

<p>I'd have to find alternatives such as a bike, a studio apartment etc. I lost my social security card and my parents have my birth certificate (i know where it is). I would obviously take my birth certificate before leaving, but I'm afraid not having my SS card might be a problem.</p>

<p>My major is applied math/Econ and comp sci minor if that makes a difference in whether my job prospects will allow me to sustain myself.</p>

2

<ol>
<li><p>you will not become an independent student for financial aid purposes until you are 24 years old, serve in the military, get married, have a child for whom you provide at least half of their support or complete your first masters.</p></li>
<li><p>why in the world do you want to take out 40k of debt (going up to 65k is even going to be worse). This is ruin your life kind of debt. This is you will not be able to rent an apartment, purchase your own car kind of debt. This is ruin your credit, non-dischargable through bankruptcy kind of debt. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>The only person crazier than you for wanting to take on this kind of debt would be your parents for signing for it knowing that if you default, they would have to pay it off.</p>

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<p>Yes, your parents would have to pay it, which is the reason that they should not even co-sign for this loan. So you will not only financially ruin them, but yourself also because you will not even be able to buy a box of rocks after you default on your loan.</p>

3

<p>You have to realize that I meant independent as in leaving my house and living by myself after I graduate.</p>

<p>My private lac costed 2k cheaper yearly than my state school. You have to realize that my parents income is out of my hands and they decided to take out private loans since they decided to use 10k a year for other things. Their income is the reason I’m going into debt.</p>

<p>I blame the school for not giving me grants. </p>

<p>But anyways, a cheaper school was out of the question. I was lucky to get into a school that had a good reputation and provided a financial aid package BETTER than my state school.</p>

<p>How was I supposed to avoid debt without making my parents work at McDonald’s instead of owning a business?</p>

<p>Edit: my total for sallie Mae loans would be 40 k so if I decided to let my parents pay half, I would only have to pay say 44k overall.</p>

4

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<p>There is no deciding to let your parents pay half unless they are willing to pay half. The only way that they would be responsible for paying is if you default on the loan. Should you default, yes they will be responsible for paying the loan, but you will be screwed also.</p>

5

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<p>All colleges have their own policies for awarding their institutional grant money. I guess you did not QUALIFY for a grant from your school. No one at the SCHOOL to blame for that. </p>

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<p>Was your bottom line out of pocket COST cheaper at the school you are attending? The amount of the financial aid package is only PART of the equation…the actual COST of attending the colleges is very important too. Are you saying that the school you are attending was the least expensive option you applied to? </p>

<p>If you have two more years of college, you could easily transfer to complete your degree. OR you could go to school part time nights and work full time during the day. Many students complete their degrees by doing this…especially if they are or want to become responsible for the costs of attending college.</p>

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<p>I applied to 7 different LACs and 2 state schools. The college I go to right now has the BEST financial aid package and easily has a better reputation than my state schools.</p>

<p>Isn’t it worth it for the name? Plus all of my credits might not transfer and i would have to take so many other requirements to graduate on time. </p>

<p>Out of state tuition isnt different than in state tuition for private school fees. My private LAC VS my state school = My LAC is 2k cheaper than my state school, thus its a better financial aid package. I got a 70k scholarship at this school.</p>

<p>So yes my LAC was the CHEAPEST option. You have to realize that not every parent makes less than 50k. I got screwed when it came to financial aid.</p>

7

<p>I’m sorry to day…you did not get screwed. If you got $70K in financial aid…that is about $17500 a year…which for most private schools would leave you paying $30,000 plus to attend per year. Are your instate public universities really over $30K per year? </p>

<p>I don’t think ANY school is worth the name…especially if you cannot pay the costs of attending without going broke. Personal opinion.</p>

<p>Anyway…back to your question. If you cannot or do not want to rely on your parents for college funding…then you can go to school part time and work full time to pay your costs. See if you can rent just a room someplace. </p>

<p>It sounds like you have to take a LOT of loans to make this school affordable…which to ME means it is NOT affordable.</p>

8

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<p>RKS…you started the above titled thread in the Parents Forum where you received some EXCELLENT advice.</p>

<p>YOU posted there that you were concerned about your loan amounts. In addition, you posted that there is a branch of your state university about 20 minutes from your house that would cost $8K-$10K per year. Even if you added room and board onto that cost, your costs would NOT be the the $30K plus you will be borrowing per year.</p>

<p>I would suggest that you go and make an appointment at that state university…in your department of interest. Take a copy of your current transcript. See exactly what WILL transfer. If, as you say, you are attending a highly regarded LAC, it is probably that much of what you have taken WILL transfer. Just check it all out…</p>

<p>Your other thread makes it very clear that you are worried about debt. Don’t let the name of your school convince you that you should assume a huge amount of undergrad debt.</p>

9

<p>Yeah that’s true, but that’s if I commute. It’s 8-10k if I commute to the branch.</p>

<p>The problem is, the end result will be 47K debt for a mediocre degree from the branch university of my state school VS 60-65k for a degree from a school that has a great reputation and better internship opportunities for students and probably an overall better career center.</p>

<p>The problem I have with state schools is that I feel like I will just be a number, I won’t get the education I can get from my private LAC, and I won’t have the hookups that a private LAC has.</p>

<p>The extra 13-18k for a more reputable degree might be worth it.</p>

<p>Also if I work after college and stay with my folks for 4-6 years and put 15k a year towards my debt… lets do the math. 4 X15K = 60K. </p>

<p>That’s when I can move out without feeling like I’m drowning in debt. During these four years I can also do job searches from my home.</p>

<p>It might not be the healthy thing to do and it might mess up my mind psychologically, but if debt is that big of a deal, this is the only way to deal with it.</p>

10

<p>Well that is certainly your choice, but the way you have described your current situation, moving out & supporting yourself while you finish your degree even if Quel horreur, you have to attend a "public "school, is vastly preferable to how you are living now.</p>

<p>Unless you were exaggerating - were you?</p>

<p>What is more important to you, your state of mind or a private college diploma?</p>

11

<p>Really! How bad can living with your parents BE if you are contemplating living there for several years after you graduate from college?</p>

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<p>@rks102, do you think that graduates from that state school near you are all unemployed or working flipping burgers? It doesn’t matter which school you attend, as long as you get great grades and seize every opportunity offered at the school you attend. There are plenty of very, very successful people who graduate from state schools every year, with much less debt than those who take loans to attend schools with fancy names. Sounds like very smart life planning to me.</p>

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<p>How would you even get these loans? Your parents aren’t likely to co-sign will they? If not, then it can’t happen…</p>

14

<p>Are you now commuting to your LAC? I’m confused by some of your posts.</p>

<p>In some posts it sounds like you go away to college, and have issues with your parents on breaks? Or do you come home on weekends? </p>

<p>If you do dorm at your college, how can they keep you from having a GF there?</p>

<p>Are you an only child? Are your parents immigrants?</p>

15

<p>I’m just talking about how they control me when I’m at home for breaks.</p>

<p>Right now I am at school and I am a second semester sophomore. My parents are consigning the private loans each year.</p>

<p>I’m not an only child and yes my parents are immigrants.</p>

<p>I’m not trying to leave home now, I’m trying to get some advice on leaving home after I graduate. </p>

<p>So maybe I over exaggerated about y folks. Some days try are okay but other days they make me pretty mad. Still first change the fact that they control everything I do.</p>

<p>Wouldn’t it be just better to work from home after I graduate, pay off some loans, and try to look for a job while I’m doing that?</p>

16

<p>If you want to continue to live at home for 6 years after you graduate and put every penny you make toward your debt that is your choice. I am a little confused though reading this thread because your first post was ranting about how terrible it was to live with your parents and you needed help getting out of thier house as soon as possible and now you are saying you want to live there for 8 more years?</p>

17

<p>If I was taking out huge loans & compromising my ability to prepare for emergencies/retirement, I would possibly turn into a control freak parent myself, because I would think I paid for the privilege.</p>

<p>$24,000 in loans for two years of college is already too much. It’s ok to vent about the poor decision that got you there, but I suggest that if you are going to continue to expect your parents to make that huge commitment in order for you to have the private school education you demand, that you acknowledge their sacrifice & accept that it comes with a price.
Logical consequences means you live with the decision you made.</p>

<p>You say your public school wasn’t any more affordable, but there still were other available options.
Most kids parents WON’T take out those kind of loans, but they still manage to go to college. Maybe they have to take a gap year & maybe they won’t attend their first choice private school, but they won’t graduate with more debt than the average American family earns in a year.( not counting interest;))</p>

18

<p>Ok…I’m having a hard time following your story…Can we summarize so that we’re all on the same page? Fill in the blanks and correct whatever I have wrong…</p>

<p>You’re a sophomore
You are a residential student at a LAC
Your parents pay ___________ towards my college costs.
Your parents are co-signing __________ dollars of loans each year.
Your school FA pkg includes Stafford loans, so you’ll also have about $27k in debt as well.
Your major is _____________ and intended career is _____________
Your parents keep you from having a girlfriend at school because ___________________.</p>

<p>Do you work during the summer? If not, why not? If you did, then they would be less likely to get you up early because they know that you have a job to get to and won’t be sleeping all day.</p>

<p>Are you permitted to spend the night at other people’s home during breaks? If not, how are they stopping you?</p>

<p>Where do you get your spending money?</p>

<p>Your parents have co-signed about $40k in loans so far, is there a chance that when they attempt to co-sign for your junior and senior year that they may be rejected? If they don’t have a strong income, then at some point they may be rejected for having co-signed too much debt.</p>

<p>I do not understand how you figured that attending this LAC is cheaper than a state school.</p>

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<p>I will add…most college grads do NOT want to live with their parents when they graduate. I’m not sure I understand why this is your goal. The “prestige” factor of the LAC name seems to be driving your decisions.</p>

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<p>Why are you taking out private loans with your parents cosigning? Are they counting on you to pay those loans? By having parents AND you on the hook for these loans, the lenders can go after both of you when they become due. If one or the other of you should die, the other is stuck with the debt. Also, what are the repayment terms for that loan? You might be better off going with PLUS, and making a private deal with your parents. If they get turned down, you would get additional amounts for your STaffords and you can then go the private route for the rest. </p>

<p>I don’t know whether you are going to be making that much more money with that degree from the LAC. Really depends on your field. For example, if you are going into teaching, around here, you are better off with a state U degree since those hiring tend to be from the state system and tend to hire from there.</p>