<p>you dont say… original post was about college graduation but I think it applies to all.</p>
<p>Thanks, sax. I have HS graduation on the brain as ds graduates in, gulp, less than three weeks.</p>
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It’s not a question of a popularity contest, it’s a question of fairness. Not only is there the issue of succeeding names being heard, as others have said, but there’s also this: I love my kid. I am incredibly proud of the way he has conducted himself these past few years, and what he has achieved. I would LOVE to stand up and clap and shout for him. But I’m not going to do that, because I’ve been asked not to as a courtesy to the other kids and their families. All I ask is that the other attendees show that same courtesy and self-restraint. If they don’t, it’s not going to ruin my day, and it’s not going to make me think they’re horrible people. But if they do, I will appreciate it, and admire them for it. That’s all.</p>
<p>“If my son was getting his Phd and a bunch of people were knocking around beach balls for everyone to focus on I’m not sure how in the world I could hold back my anger for the complete lack of respect shown.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t mind the beach balls even if my kid were getting a doctorate. All I care about is being able to hear the name of my kid and my kid’s friends. </p>
<p>I don’t expect everyone to be paying rapt attention to students whom they don’t even know. I just want people to be quiet. As long as I can see my kid and hear his name called, people can play with beach balls or hang signs from the balcony. </p>
<p>In fact, I appreciate the distractions caused by folks quietly hitting beach balls. </p>
<p>"“It sounds like those who don’t clap are most worried about the popularity contest.”</p>
<p>All we care about is hearing our kid’s name. I wouldn’t want friends of my kid to yell for him and drown out the name of the next student.</p>
<p>Alright, I give. I will try my hardest to not cheer loudly for ds in two weeks. But my brother will be there, and I have no idea whether he’ll be packing an airhorn.</p>
<p>I’m beginning to wonder whether we just have a semantics issue. My cheering would never go on for 10-15 seconds so that it would interfere with the next kid’s name; I’m seriously talking about a “Woohoo! Go YDSson!” I just timed it; that’s four seconds. I definitely agree that if we’re talking sustained cheering/a spectacle, then that’s wrong.</p>
<p>People have no etiquette if they can’t understand that there are many of us that just want to be able to hear their child’s name being called and or their friends names being called. </p>
<p>If some can’t see how rude it is to cause a raucous by clapping, whistling, horn blowing when their kids name is called, thus making it impossible for everyone else to hear the next name, than they are simply selfish and not caring. </p>
<p>If you school allows time for clapping etc. then great, but most schools just read one name right after the other. Keep your trap, horn, whistles shut/quiet so everyone can enjoy their child’s moment. It is not only polite, but it’s the right thing to do as you would not like to miss your kids name being called. Remember the golden rule!</p>
<p>". My cheering would never go on for 10-15 seconds so that it would interfere with the next kid’s name;:</p>
<p>Any cheering will encourage others to do the same. Just follow the rules so everyone can enjoy hearing their student’s name. Show your support for your brother in some quiet way.</p>
<p>^ I agree; it is a matter of tone and expectation. Just like graffiti and broken windows can bring down a neighborhood, IMO shouts and air horns (no matter how short the duration) can undermine a significant ceremony.</p>
<p>My other issue is the people who stand to get a better view and/or take pictures, heedless of those sitting behind them whose view is then totally blocked.</p>
<p>There are plenty of ways to communicate your excitement and pride to your child, before and after the ceremony.</p>
<p>Oh, no…Beach balls & laughter at a graduation? Thank goodness I’m reading this on my fainting couch.</p>
<p>I have also noticed that first generation grads or grads who have reached their highest level of education tend to get the loudest response. I think that is wonderful.</p>
<p>I had the pleasure of attending my nieces graduation this past weekend & it was lovely. The grads came up both sides of the stage and while one name was announced, their family was permitted a probably 10-15 second window in which to express their joy and by then the grad on the other side was ready to go. I did not miss the funerial feel of other graduations I’ve attended.</p>
<p>And, yes, we lept to our feet to briefly cheer for our Summa Cum Laude graduate of the Honors College who is going to grad school. So, no, we were not overcompensating although I can that kind of assumption going hand in hand with attending graduations ready to declare the whole thing a bust if you can see your loved one walk but cannot hear their name.</p>
<p>Also, the kind of graduating where they just read the lis of names straight through? Is it really that meaningful to here, “gradAgradBgradC…” and so for hours? </p>
<p>I far prefer large graduations where they ask the various schools to stand and the schools have the option of holding smaller ceremonies where the names are read slowly enough to really hear.</p>
<p>" The grads came up both sides of the stage and while one name was announced, their family was permitted a probably 10-15 second window in which to express their joy and by then the grad on the other side was ready to go. I did not miss the funerial feel of other graduations I’ve attended."</p>
<p>That was a lovely way to conduct the graduation. </p>
<p>Seems it would be nice if the larger schools provided that opportunity perhaps by having students get their diplomas in ceremonies for each major. </p>
<p>That’s similar to the way I got my diploma. There was a large, boring commencement for everyone including grad students, but then we got our diplomas in ceremonies at our dorms. Since most students resided on campus, this was a nice way to award diplomas.</p>
<p>“Oh, no…Beach balls & laughter at a graduation? Thank goodness I’m reading this on my fainting couch.”</p>
<p>For a while, at the college where I used to teach, some students sailed across the stage on skateboards or roller blades.</p>
<p>I like it when the students tape things like “Thanks, Mom” on the top of their caps. :)</p>
<p>yds, Please know that you give into that urge to let out a small, “hurray!”, there are those of us who will completely understand & be silently thanking you for sharin your joy!</p>
<p>By the way, my son’s hs is a “hold your applause” school & we will. But I will be smiling brightly as those unable to resist because I don’t know their story. And, when in doubt, I’d rather smile at an overenthusiastic parent than risk scowling at the parent of a cancer survivor.</p>
<p>Even if I cannot hear my son’s name. I’m choosing joy!</p>
<p>“By the way, my son’s hs is a “hold your applause” school & we will. But I will be smiling brightly as those unable to resist because I don’t know their story. And, when in doubt, I’d rather smile at an overenthusiastic parent than risk scowling at the parent of a cancer survivor.”</p>
<p>Fine to look at it that way – saves a lot of heartburn.</p>
<p>I wish the people who can’t stifle their cheers, though, would realize that they may be keeping others from hearing a cancer survivor’s name or they may be keeping a cancer survivor from hearing their kid’s name.</p>
<p>If the people at the microphone always wait till the applause has died down before reading the next name, and the graduating class is small enough that this doesn’t create an intolerable marathon of a ceremony, then fine. Honestly, I don’t hate the sound of cheers. I like the sound of cheers. But this event means a lot to all the families there, and everybody should be given an equal chance to enjoy it. If that means keeping quiet for an hour or two until the last walker has walked, is that really so very much to ask? It shouldn’t be, for grownups.</p>
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Bingo.</p>
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<p>I totally agree. I also find it to be very infectious to see other people cheer and express their joy and pride.</p>
<p>So then: Some people feel it is okay to make up their own rules to a time honored ceremony in spite of their host going out of their way to ask you to refrain from individual celebrations. These people feel that they should set their own behavior standards at the host’s event for a variety of reasons they deem more important than the hosts reasons.Do I have that right?</p>
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<p>That must have looked so cool with their robes flying!</p>
<p>sax, If you want to look at it that ways, sure, then you have it right. Of course, I think it’s more like, “Some people endorse continuing to use peer pressure under the guise of tradition to squash any expression of emotion during joyous occasions and I, for one, am glad that group of people is being challenged by those who give into the urge to express that joy.”</p>
<p>My high school graduation was dull as dishwater although oh-so-very prim and proper. I was delighted to discover that not all graduations were like that. As I said, I follow the rules but my I truly understand those who do not and I’m not going to waste one second of a joyous day on it. Not when I can hug my graduate afterwards, not when life has been so good to us.</p>
<p>Well, I understand those that like to shout out a bit more than I did yesterday and that was my hope.:)</p>
<p>As I said earlier my feeling during the ceremony was just an “oh, well” as others shouted out happily. It’s awesome to be able to discuss something that really is trivial in the grand scheme of things. Thanks for the feedback.</p>