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The possibility of going there excites me, and I feel like it's where I am supposed to go. I don't know how to describe it other than a gut instinct, and I wish my parents would take that into some kind of account. And having a conversation with them about it is nearly impossible as my father gets incredibly hostile, and my mother cries and says I'm trying to throw away my life.
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<p>I think you parents are struggling with their own developmental issues of separation and you will have to let them have their feelings for awhile while you plan how to convey that you do know your own mind on this and that you are not being defiant or reckless. I'd put all your forensic skills into a compelling display of facts they are missing and the evidence that you are making an excellent choice for your education and hope for their support. Think about what points might be compelling to them.</p>
<p>I think you have a good intuitive sense of what you need but if you have managed until now by being compliant, they do not know you as a young adult well enough to trust your judgment. You need to show them some of your talents and determination and at the same time convey your love, respect, connection to them--AND your ability to be independent.</p>
<p>My son and some friends convinced a VERY skeptical group of parents to allow them to take a road trip (including taking my car so I had to be convinced and I was the most resistant) by coming up with a dazzling and compelling presentation that really did show us that they had thought out all the details (mileage, costs, safety risks and cautions they would take, etc...).
Use your imagination, put your heart into figuring out what is most likely to communicate well to them, go visit the other schools with an open mind AND collect data to bolster your compelling comparisons.</p>
<p>You will have to work hard to get through and past the prestige/rankings dazzle, but if this is the school that speaks to you you will find a way. I would also consider doing some networking to find some Sweet Briar grads who could help build your case, by virtue of what they have done with their education. And you could always look into actually doing it on your own. A tough route but a compelling commitment to your choice.</p>
<p>Good luck. Helping parents learn to let you go out into the world is a big job.</p>
<p>To the various parents who have suggested that they have the right and responsibility to "guide" their children through the college admissions process,</p>
<p>To a certain extent you are right, you have the money and the legal power over your kids. But, I can assure you that your kids will despise every minute of the college admissions process (and are likely put less work into their apps) and are far more likely to end up at a place they are unhappy at. As you said though, your choice.</p>
<p>To the OP, you sound like the kind of person who will be able to succeed no matter where you go to school. If you can see yourself succeeding at Sweet Briar, you should go. Worse comes to worst, you can always transfer.</p>
<p>I agree with the parents who have expressed concerns about the size of Sweet Briar. Besides the social issues, the academic ones are of some importance. I see that there are only 3 chemistry profs. In the course of 4 years, at least one is bound to go on leave, leaving only 2 to teach courses, assuming that the remaining two do not themselves go on leave for non-academic reasons. This will make scheduling of courses difficult.<br>
One of the reasons that our S eventually chose a university over a LAC much larger than SB was that many of the listed courses at the LAC were offered only in alternate years.</p>
<p>As for engineering, forget it. It takes a lot of effort, money and time to get a new department off the ground. Engineering in particular needs more than a few hires to get a program going.</p>
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To the various parents who have suggested that they have the right and responsibility to "guide" their children through the college admissions process,
To a certain extent you are right, you have the money and the legal power over your kids. But, I can assure you that your kids will despise every minute of the college admissions process (and are likely put less work into their apps) and are far more likely to end up at a place they are unhappy at.
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Not. Both my kids have enjoyed the college admissions process, even with me guiding. I am sorry that you do not have a postive, open and sharing relationship with your parents to do the same. :(</p>
<p>to the OP. You may be comfortable and feel welcomed and at home at Sweetbriar, but the fact that they do not have an accredited Chemistry program, (and you say you want to pursue Chemistry), should have you running, not walking, in the opposite direction. JMHO. College ain't just about comfort - it's also about the education.</p>
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Maybe I am not giving BC and some of the other colleges a fair shake after only one visit... I may just be bitter that my parents and GC manufactured my college list. I will take the advice and do more visits and attend the accepted students programs.
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College ain't just about comfort - it's also about the education.
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<p>YES! I agree with these statements. Just because your parents are dismissing Sweet Briar unfairly doesn't mean Sweet Briar is the best place for you. Be honest with yourself. Unfortunately, I too agree that you are selling yourself short with Sweet Briar.</p>
<p>Granted there a million applicable anecdotes regarding parental pressure on their kids' college choices, but here are ours:</p>
<p>H's parents only allowed him to apply to/attend one college. He was resentful, but after getting there and 30 years later, he says "they did the right thing."</p>
<p>My parents stayed out of my college decision, went along with my choice and supported me. I regretted my decision, and to this day I harbor a little resentment toward them for not helping me make a better choice.</p>
<p>H and I strongly guided D's choice. She had no problem with the app process, got into her (and our) first choice, and is thrilled with it. As anxiousmom says, if you have a positive, open relationship with your kids, they tend to respect and trust your opinion.</p>
<p>I live not far from Sweet Briar, and I have a son at Duke now who was admitted to six colleges he respected a lot, waitlisted at one of his crush schools and some of his admissions were on your list. All great institutions, and a few could easily have waitlisted him.
I think it would behoove you to reconsider tangling up any of your decisions in terms of power struggles with your parents. You may have to be the first one to say uncle and back down a little. I would suggest instead that you tell your parents that you will pursue visiting at least one or two of your other future admissions in April, and then give those schools your sincere attention on Accepted Students Day. Otherwise, you are sort of cutting the process short and possibly on a gut feeling only.<br>
You need to separate and make a decision that is yours but to give the the parent units some credit for making good points. Separation cuts both ways. We parents have to learn that our children are not us and have their own temperaments and instincts, and we have to get less personally caught up in their choices. You also need to get more neutral regarding your parent's opinions and not "dig in". You can actually give them some credit for some of their logic without "giving in." Don't make this about who gets their way.
Your parents are pretty excited about your good test scores and record and may want you to reach for prestige and more peers at your speed academically when you want to reach for mental health and balance and less stress.<br>
My son simply could not put his declines in the mail and take his acceptance till late in April of his senior year, out of respect and affection for all his schools. He could see himself at each of them, and no school has it all. Perhaps he went a bit too far in the other direction by visiting each school either in the fall or spring, but what I want to say is that he totally changed his mind about a few things after doing Accepted Student Days.</p>
<p>I would like to see you also have more affection for a couple more schools on your list, so that when you make that final decision in April, you can truly say, "I could have been fulfilled and learned a lot at A, B or C but I made my decision." I sometimes think this is hard for very sincere young people as it feels like "dating three or four people at once" and it can feel deceptive or shallow to keep stringing things out. This is one of those passages in life where Coping with Ambivalence Well is the entire game. (Actually coping well with ambivalence without splitting into one extreme or another is the key to much about mental health as an adult in every passage ahead, too.)
I am sure you could build a strong life on a start at Sweet Briar although I would have to agree you might end up needing remedial work later to compete with engineering or Chemistry departments that are fully operational and accredited.<br>
But I think you should go to the "dance" in April and take a turn around the campus with at least two other admissions and then decide. Stay open and ask your parents to please respect your decision once all the facts re money are on the table and you have actually gone to at least two other Accepted Student Days.</p>
<p>Add my voice to those expressing concern about chemistry at Sweet Briar. If you are interested AT ALL in pursuing a graduate degree in chemistry, you must get your undergrad an accredited insitution. Graduate schools in chemistry value the kind of research (and contacts) that may not be available at SB.</p>
<p>To the OP: I am also a little concerned that your desire to major in chemistry comes not from within but from pressure from your parents (you mentioned being more interested in English.) As someone who majored in Chemistry AND in English, let me tell you - unless you are really motivated by a love of the subject, it is really hard to slog through classes in organic and physical chemistry!</p>
<p>Your original question was: what can you do to possibly change your parents' minds.</p>
<p>If that is your concern, I think the single, most important thing you can do is actually keep an open mind until you hear from all your selections and make sure that they know you are doing so. Let them know that you are going to sincerely look at each school that accepts you, and then do so. Tell your parents that you will weigh each option (all fine schools, IMO), and then do YOUR best to decide what is right for YOU. Go to the programs for accepted students. Weigh the pros and cons, and plan to have a set of rational reasons for your choice.</p>
<p>Hi there, I'm a concerned parent and a ! chemist ! who attended a LAC where I got what I regard as a superb science education and excellent preparation for graduate school. That said, I would have some real concerns if my daughter wanted to major in chemistry at SB and I would want answers to some questions before I agreed to finance her education there. Here's what I would want to know:</p>
<p>What do SB chemistry majors end up doing once they graduate? Graduate school? Professional (medical/law) school? HS teaching? Immediate employment (doing what)? How many in each category?</p>
<p>[And OP, ask yourself - do the answers square with what you think you'll want to do after college?]</p>
<p>What does SB do to ensure that there is a real student scientific community? Chem majors really profit from having other chem majors / physics majors / math majors / bio majors to interact with. 600 students is a yellow flag for me - chances of having critical mass of other student scientists may not be too good. And let's be honest, the fact that all 600 of those students are women doesn't raise the chances. A year with no chem majors is another yellow flag for me. How many chem majors are there, typically? </p>
<p>Are the upper-level courses you'll need to take readily available? Will they offer p-chem if only one student wants to take it? What about support courses, like physics / math / compsci?</p>
<p>It may be that the answers to all of these questions will be totally satisfactory to you. But you need to ask them. Sitting in on a couple of chemistry classes really doesn't tell you enough. </p>
<p>Good luck - I <em>really</em> wouldn't get hung up on the prestige thing. Much better to spend the time ensuring that whatever institution you choose will offer you the education you'll want.</p>
<p>Here's another thought. If it's possible, after you receive all your notifications, see if you can go and visit on the accepted student days. Most of your schools will offer one or two days when accepted students come to visit together. The colleges put on special programs and activities for the acceptees. Most importantly, you'll get to be on campus with the other students who will be your classmates, roommates, etc. Give yourself and your parents a couple of months off from all the pressure. See where you get in. Then go visit with an open mind. Things might look different 3 months from now, especially when you get to meet the kids who willa actually be in your class.</p>