Psychotic Break....Help with salvaging College?

Parents Forum
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<p>curiouser:</p>

<p>I called the Dean of Education and told her that I appreciate her help but I was told by a friend that I should have called the Dean of Students to help me. Especially since the Dean of Education said my daughter had to email each Professor and make an Incomplete deal with each of them. From reading this board and knowing the laws that protect mental health patients it did not sound right. She said that the Dean of Students would have only told me that I had to contact her anyway so it did not matter. I agreed with her so that the medical withdrawal could go through without stepping on her toes. Honey catches more flies…lol…or something like that. :slight_smile: We got the tentative medical withdrawal but I dont know if I mentioned this in any of the posts,but the state has changed the teaching curriculum as it is integrating teaching the handicapped and disabled as they are being integrated into the public schools instead of segregating them . Which means the courses are changing dramatically as of Dec 31, 2012. So basically my daughter had to go with incomplete and finish in 30 more days or she loses everything. The professors dont work over the summer and when the public schools close the teaching internship has to be done. So it was too much pressure in our opinion to push her into finishing. We opted for her losing everything at this point. She will retain her 3.2 GPA by getting medical Withdrawal W’s as opposed to incompletes or F’s if she did not finish. What luck of the draw. This curriculum probably hasn’t changed for years…but…ofcourse it does when my daughter has her crisis. Honestly, she is so shy that we have dicussed changing her major anyway. If she could teach 1 st graders and not deal with the parents …she would be fine…however, she does not communicate well with older children and adults. She is very shy and introverted…but…caring. </p>

<p>We have to evaluate her new career choice once she is better. The meds are working now. I trust her to sleep in her own room now after 5 days now since her crisis. One thing people dont realize is that most suicides dont occur when patients are depressed. They dont have the energy to do it. Its when the meds start working that become the danger zone. They feel better and have the energy to complete any plans they had. She has denied hurting herself or others, but you just never know. So we are keeping a close eye on her even as we give her more freedom. I may let her drive next week again if things get better. I will give her…her cell phone back maybe in 2 weeks if even better. Adding small outside stressors one at a time. </p>

<p>Thanks for all of your help!</p>

<p>Joules</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>I think this was a wise decision, albeit a difficult one. More hugs to you.</p>

<p>I’m glad to hear she’s being more cooperative about meds, and that they’re kicking in. Another thing to watch for: It sometimes happens with psychiatric meds that once the patient feels better for a while, they begin to think they don’t need them any more. So just be alert that she keeps taking them as long as the doc wants her to.</p>

<p>But overall, I’m breathing a bit of a sigh of relief for you.</p>

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<p>LasMa:</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice…</p>

<p>Yes…that is a phenomenon of all med takers…be it any med. I once had a patient who came in with headaches and a nose bleed to the ER. Come to find out he stopped his blood pressure meds because he was checking it 2 times a day and it was good. lol…not too funny but his BP was 200/120 causing his symptoms. I had to explain to him that his BP was good because he was taking his BP medications. Once he stopped them his BP was out of control and causing his symptoms and near stroke levels. He was lucky and now knows to keep his meds going even when his pressure his good. It is important to tell patients the rationale of taking meds so they understand the consequences if they stop them. The rationale always helps me when working in healthcare. It keeps me on track too!</p>

<p>Joules</p>

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<p>Joules,
I am pleased to hear your daughter is settling in and improving.
Take care. :)</p>

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<p>Joules,
I too am glad that your daughter is improving. While I understand why you are taking the Medical W’s every experience I have had is that professors are very willing to work with you and typically work would not have to be be completed until the mid point of the following semester ie in the fall. Now Obviously the dean must have said otherwise but I think if you had the opportunity to talk to the professors they may have worked with your daughter via the computer to allow her to finish after the 30 days. Professors typically have a lot of lee way.
obviously</p>

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<p>I think so, too Longsx3. Professors, even the department, probably would have worked with the student. State requirements for teachers and teacher ed, though, are not flexible. If the old curriculum had to be wrapped by by X date, the faculty may not have had the flexibility they ordinarily would.</p>

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<p>Agreed - work directly with the professors. I once had a student that came down with mono late in the semester, with projects and final still outstanding. He was easily the top student in my class. When he explained his situation, I told him to focus 100% on his other classes, that he had an A no matter what. He kept on coming back wanting to do more work, and I had to insist that I didn’t want to see him again. :slight_smile: Professors are human beings, and they want to do the right thing.</p>

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<p>^^^^</p>

<p>While some professors might cut OP’s daughter a break and give her a final grade based on what she’s already done (I’ve done that on occasion), if they are not willing (or able) to do that and OP’s daughter had opted for Incompletes, at most schools the professors’ hands are tied when it comes to the terms of the Incompletes. At some schools, students have a semester or more to finish courses where they got Is, but at others, like my current school, they have considerably less time and professors have no latitude to extend that time (it’s set and enforced by the Registrar’s office.) </p>

<p>I think the OP did the right thing opting for a medical withdrawal. She has no idea when her daughter will be able to return to school (we all hope it will be quickly but it’s very possible it may be a semester or longer) and the last thing her daughter needs is more pressure to get back to school more quickly than she can in order to avoid Fs in the courses in which she was enrolled this semester.</p>

<p>I wish OP and her daughter all the best.</p>

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<p>Joules,
I’m so glad you were able to work out something that preserves your d’s gpa and eliminates the grades/finishing work as a stressor. Sounds like you made the best decision for her under the circumstances, and it must be a relief to have the burden of her college semester off both of your shoulders. The most important thing is her recovery, and given how quickly this all unfolded, it seems like you’ve accomplished everything you needed to on her behalf with great speed.</p>

<p>I wish you and your D the best as you face the future together. Without a doubt, she knows she is not alone in this. I think you’ve been a wonderful parent for her at this very difficult time. It WILL get better and knowing her college options are open when she’s ready is a welcome relief, I’m sure.</p>

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<p>Glad your daughter is doing better. Best to take the pressure off and take all necessary precautions. Better to lose credit than lose the daughter. Good she has your loving support.</p>

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<p>To everyone:</p>

<p>I want to thank everyone for their great and timely advice! She is doing better on meds now for about 10 days. Now its counseling once a week until we can get her to a good place. Then back to thinking about school and what she may want to do now. Either to keep teaching or change fields. The medical withdrawal went through and her GPA is intact. I got an extension on her Stafford loans for now. Its one day at a time now and then we have to re-evaluate her future. She is functioning quite well at home and soon we will be focusing on getting her back into college. We are still worried about leaving her alone. She goes with us everywhere now and My wife and I are still standing next to her when we give her her meds. We changed to Risperdal and break the 2mg pill in half. The side effects of nausea and drowsiness were too much. So its 1mg after breakfast and 1 mg after dinner. Its better that way but twice as hard to make sure she takes the meds. I tell her everyday that the reason she is feeling better is because she is taking her meds. Its not that I dont trust her but as nurses, we know that patients tend to want to get off meds when they feel better. They seem to forget that they feel better because they are taking their meds.</p>

<p>Thanks for all your advice! One day at a time.</p>

<p>Joules</p>

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<p>So glad your daughter is compliant with her meds and on her road to recovery. Keeping you in my prayers.</p>

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<p>Joules, I am so happy to hear your news! Both my sons are on Risperdal. One takes 2 mg/day and one takes 5 mg/day. FOR THEM, it works better than any of the other anti-psychotics. I would caution that if your D is advised to take Abilify, be careful. It’s only a small sample, but both my sons and the son of a friend did badly on it. Zyprexa is another one - it is MUCH more sedative than Risperdal.</p>

<p>I have pill boxes for my sons. They both take numerous pills other than Risperdal - it’s quite the cocktail, and it changes OFTEN. My older son fills his own boxes and I check periodically that he is taking them - he is really good about it. I fill the boxes for my younger son since I have to split several of the pills. The younger one is motivated by money, so we give him $1/day if he takes all three doses. If he forgets one, he owes us $1. Whatever works!! He knows the meds work, he’s just a typical 17-year-old and forgets.</p>

<p>I’m sure her doctor has mentioned this, but remember that any kind of stress will exacerbate her symptoms. Before this semester started, my older son had a bad night where he didn’t make a lot of sense. We increased the Risperdal and he was OK. I’m happy to say that he had his last final yesterday and did well! It’s a huge relief that he was able to handle the stress of an entire semester. He will live at home for the foreseeable future, though.</p>

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<p>Good news, Joules. As you say, one day at a time.</p>

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<p>It’s great to hear that your daughter is doing better, and about the medical withdrawal, extension of loans, and clean GPA. So a fresh start is truly possible. That’s really wonderful and congratulations on the rewards of your hard work.</p>

<p>On the positive side, this is a great opportunity for her to reevaluate things and come up with a workable, and fulfilling, path - once she is ready.</p>

<p>One caution: it is unfortunate that many psychiatric disorders manifest during the transition from childhood to adulthood, including the legal sense of adulthood. With your experience as nurses you know that your daughter is not truly compliant, if you have to stand by her when she takes her meds. Perhaps once she is fully stabilized, this won’t be needed.</p>

<p>However, it does seem to be a complicated process for kids this age to come to acceptance of medications, and parental controls can sometimes delay it, paradoxically. She will have to be responsible, and, of course, if over 18, she can refuse and there is nothing you can do about it, other than to kick her out, which is unlikely.</p>

<p>She may need to go off meds to really understand that she needs them and to then be truly compliant and independent. Sorry to state the obvious, but this process can take awhile. Also, some don’t need anti-psychotics when they are not symptomatic. The trick is to catch things early, and learning that also takes awhile for the person on the meds.</p>

<p>I have to say that it would be a natural impulse to go off meds in order to see what happens. Others may disagree, but once she is stable, if that is what she really wants, I would let her. Better now than later when she is away from home. She is going to have to take responsibility sometime, even if that means doing things you would prefer she not do, or not doing things that you prefer she do.</p>

<p>A great book by Elyn Sacks about her struggle, and success: “The Center Cannot Hold” (on schizophrenia) available on Amazon. Lynn Jamison. Kay Redfield Jamison’s books are good too on (bipolar). They both tested being off meds at various times and saw it as part of a natural process toward truly owning their illnesses.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Joules, how’s she doing?</p>

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<p>LasMa:</p>

<p>She is doing so well after 2 weeks that we have given her back her driving privileges, cell phone and computer. She continues on Risperdal 1mg in am and 1 mg in pm. We got her reregistered for the fall into Rehabilitative Services degree which works more with the disabled. She will not have the pressure of teaching in front of a large class and dealing with parents. She is just too quiet of a person to do that anyway. We always felt that was going to be difficult for her.</p>

<p>She will rest for a few months and return the end of August. It will take 1 1/2 years to finish this degree, but, it is more suited for her quiet personality. She is excited about it too! I am just not sure how the Stafford loans will work as she has had 4 years of them already. I will apply for FAFSA again and hope that they will give more loans. If not, I will just start picking up more OT at work.</p>

<p>All in all, things are better. She still needs counseling and now one neurologist feels that Lyme disease could have caused much of her problems. I am not totally convinced as there are so many other factors involved. </p>

<p>One day at a time!
Thanks to all for your advice!</p>

<p>Joules</p>

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<p>Wonderful news, particularly the new direction that is bringing enthusiasm and joy and seems a better path. I hope all continues as described.</p>

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<p>Amy Tan has a wonderful essay on living with the neurological effects of untreated Lyme in her book “The Opposite of Fate”. Your daughter might like to take a look at that, and see if her neurologist’s suggestion makes sense to her.</p>

<p>Someone with a calm, quiet temperament will do well in your daughter’s new field of study. How wonderful that she’s found it! Congratulations all around!</p>

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<p>Your daughter was blessed to be born to two such steady, loving, loyal and gracious parents. My heart is happy for you, Joules</p>