Question about a missing Dad

<p>My daughter's father and I were nver married and we have not seen him in years, over 10 at least.</p>

<p>What will happen when I need to fill out the FAFSA in January 2010?</p>

<p>My daughter is a great student and I am a single parent. I would hate for her not to be able to get any financial aid because of her absent Dad. This is causing me some major anxiety. </p>

<p>Thanks for any feedback.</p>

<p>If you don’t know anything about him and he doesn’t support you, it would be irrelevant to put any information down about him. So… don’t. Sorry. I’m in the same situation, so it seems so clear cut to me. I would never put anything down about my father because he’s simply not in the picture. That’s like putting information down for a parent that is deceased.</p>

<p>Your daughter’s high school counselor should be able to help with this. You’re going to need letters from the student’s counselor, and one or two other reputable sources who know you family – perhaps a minister, a social worker, or someone similar. </p>

<p>Then you’re going to need to call each of the schools you’re interested in and ask to speak to the financial aid counselor, and explain the situation and ask how you should proceed. Keep great notes – maybe get a spiral notebook and set up a couple pages for each school. Document the date, name of the person with whom you spoke, and the details of the conversation. You might want to call one in-state public college now to get a handle on it (or, better yet in a couple of weeks after they’re done with the spring FA slam.)</p>

<p>This is going to take some additional time, but I think you’ll find that most schools have unfortunately had to deal with this very situation before.</p>

<p>This will not be a problem at FAFSA only schools which only need the info for custodial parent and their spouse. It will be an issue at Profile schools. Many will waive the need for the other parent’s info if they have not paid child support and a counselor or clergy can confirm the person has not been in the child’s life.</p>

<p>Great advice about FAFSA only schools and that there will be a slight issue with Profile schools. I just want to add, PLEASE be sure your Daughter applies to a range of schools. Have her apply to some where she will be at the top of the heap and get merit money. Every year at this time there are lots of posts from kids who got into their “dream” school and now cannot afford it.</p>

<p>This is a problem for PROFILE schools? I had no idea. It’s all pretty clear cut to me. Alas, non-traditional families will be easily accepted some day. I wonder when?</p>

<p>There’s hardly anything non-traditional about a single mom raising a child. Sheesh.</p>

<p>applicannot, as has been pointed out, FAFSA asks only for the custodial parent(s) information. Profile wants information from BOTH parental households, but not having seen one of the parents in over 10 years would be an excellent reason for Profile schools to issue a non-custodial parent waiver.</p>

<p>uvtw9, FAFSA will not be a problem at all. Yay!</p>

<p>I don’t think it is a matter of non traditional families not being “accepted” they just want to tap all resources for getting paid.
I just received a letter from daughter’s school explaining next years tuition increase, along with an explanation of the " increase of need based aid for families who are struggling with the current economy" Nice sentiment, but it won’t help us because the school uses :
FAFSA
IDOC
CSS Profile
Business and Farm Supplement
and my favorite , non-custodial parent forms
Luckily, it will be her last semester !</p>

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<p>This is exactly my point. I’m just questioning why my generally normal family would need a special paper or waiver to say that my father is not in the picture. Single-parent households are the norm. They’re maybe not “traditional”, but they’re not abnormal. Therefore, I was saying I don’t understand why it has to be certified by PROFILE. I just don’t agree with the system. We haven’t spoken to my father in sixteen years - and yet I’m supposed to provide some form of proof of that? It sounds like bunk to me.</p>

<p>Yes, you’re supposed to provide some form of proof of that if the college requests it. I’m sure you can figure out why.</p>

<p>Applicannot, if they made it easy, everyone would claim they could not find a parent. These schools are looking for the EFC, otherwise known as Every F****** Cent. It would be easy for every divorced set of parents to claim one would not pay. That’s why you have to prove the other parent never paid child support and has really not been in the child’s life.</p>

<p>Yes, and there would be people divorcing right before college just to eliminate the higher income from the equation. I think I saw a thread on that already! Sad…</p>

<p>Just a tiny clarification regarding hmom5’s post … </p>

<p>You really don’t have to prove that the non-custodial parent has never paid child support. You just have to prove that the non-custodial parent is not in the child’s life, has not been in the child’s life, and that college money beyond that reported as child support is not going to be forthcoming from the non-custodial parent.</p>

<p>You may well be able to waive the non-custodial parent information AND have a history of receiving child support. Just report the child support on FAFSA and CSS Profile and contact the college to ask what they require in order to waive the non-custodial data. They’ll include the child support “against you” when computing your EFC (yes, even if it ends prior to your child’s entry into college), but waiving the non-custodial parent’s financial data will keep the remainder of that parent’s income and assets out of the picture.</p>

<p>I recently took a course on financial aid. The prof was the Dir. of Aid at a private college. What was taught is that by having received child support, it’s clear the second parent could be reached. That is the measure her college uses. It is not the responsibility of any parent to pay for college so their interest is not in whether a parent will contribute. My understanding is the only way to get a waiver for submitting the second parent’s info is to prove you can not find the second parent.</p>

<p>Hmom is correct. FA is based on what the family can afford to pay, not what they want to pay. When it comes to financing the education of a student, the line starts with their parents. While there may not be any pnysical contact between parent and child, the payment of child support, consititutes contact.</p>

<p>In the case of institutional aid (and they can ask for any criteria they want when it comes to giving out theirmoney), when a parent says that they are not going to pay for their child’s education, for what ever reason, they are essentially saying "let someone else’s parent pay for my child’s education (as most of the institutional aid comes from other people’s parents).</p>

<p>When it comes to institutional aid, most colleges, do not care about divorce decrees, side deals between parents or the parent who feels that they no longer have to support their child once the child turns 18. Paying for college is not a legal obligation, but it is a social and a moral obligation (YMMV). Colleges are not going to pick up the slack for a parent who is unwilling to fill out the forms, or hem and haw over what they are not going to pay. This unfortunately just puts the child between a rock and a hard place. It is also one of the most important reasons for parents, regardless of your marital status to sit down, and talk reasonably about what they are willing to pay or borrow. If your non-custodial is putting his or her foot down over what they will pay, believe it. if the parent says they are not contributing after the child turns 18, don’t aggravate yourself with profile schools that are going to ask for his/her information when you know it will not be forth coming. </p>

<p>It is really important for students to cast a wide net, that includes fafsa only schools and school where students will have a good chance of obtaining merit $$.</p>

<p>“I recently took a course on financial aid. The prof was the Dir. of Aid at a private college. What was taught is that by having received child support, it’s clear the second parent could be reached.”</p>

<p>Not necessarily true. I tried for YEARS to get an address, phone #, State/Country or planet that my D’s father was at, and although the State Child Support agency KNEW his contact info, (they told me so) they could not or would not release it to me.</p>

<p>How did colleges handle the your situation? From what I was told, the same forces that collect support payments can compel the filling out of forms.</p>

<p>Although there had been sporadic payments made through the state over the years, they had completely ceased a few years before applications. I don’t remember exactly what went on which form, but I did disclose the date of last payment received, and had letters to attest that there was no contact or any knowledge of whereabouts of the father. D’s school is a profile school, and I filled out some type of non-custodial parent waiver form for them as well. I wish the State could be compelled to release the information.</p>

<p>Sorry, sybbie719, you and hmom5 are not right about this. I read all sorts of things on CC about this subject. It seems that many people have the misunderstanding that you have.</p>

<p>First of all, the waiver of non-custodial data is in the hands of each individual school. They can require whatever they’d like to require, and they can waive as they deem fit.</p>

<p>But, secondly, as GA2012MOM points out, many states handle child support payments themselves, garnishing them from non-custodial parent’s wages and distributing them to custodial parents. At least SOME states, if not all, are not allowed to release the non-custodial parent’s contact information. (It makes sense to me that ALL would not be allowed to release it.)</p>

<p>Thirdly, though you are required to report child support payments, which will then be added towards you’re EFC, if the other parent is legally restricted from having contact with the children, or cannot or will not be contacted or cooperative in the process after repeated attempts, and if all of that can be documented, then it does not matter whether you are collecting child support payments or not – at least some schools will waive the non-custodial data.</p>

<p>The child support is one issue – and for many people in many states I believe it ends at age 18 or graduation from high school by state standards, so it does not continue to support college payments after reporting it that child’s first year. The accessibility of the non-custodial parent’s contact information or financial data is another issue altogether.</p>

<p>I can assure you that I know what I’m talking about here. I’ve been through it. I followed several different colleges’ directions for requesting the waivers. I had no trouble getting any of the waivers, from several different schools – after following all their various procedures. AND I have received child support for many years. I am certain that my family is not an exception – other than the fact that many people do not have the circumstances my children have regarding contact with their non-custodial parent. I won’t go into details on that matter. But rest assured, you can have both – the waiver and a history of receiving child support.</p>

<p>Yes, you are correct that ultimately the decision is within the hands of the individual schools and each school will do what they deem fit on a case by case basis and there are no “hard & fast” rules.</p>

<p>You have name a number of different scenarios in your response which is why in my response I stated that YMMV.</p>

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<p>yes, however in some states, NY the NCP can be ordered to pay child support until the student is 21. The parent can request an upward modification in support when they bring documentation that the child is attending or due to attend college.</p>

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<p>Yes, this is the most simple and straight forward way to get a waiver, as most times in this case it is also listed in the child’s school records that the NCP has no access to the child. So it is very easy for the GC or other school official to document that while there is a support order in place, for the saftety and the well-being of the child and the family(be it physical, mental or emotional), there is not contact between them. There are probably more cases that there is contact between parent and child where there are formalized unspervised visits and even joint custody agreements in place. The one thing that we can all agree to is that one size definitely does not fit all.</p>

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<p>I beleive you as I have had students who were in this exact same position and they were able to receive a NCP however, I can also attest to the fact first hand that many times the scenario does not always play out this way and there are many schools that will say no (more often than not a student can and does have more flexibility at a school that has morew $$ to give).</p>