question about ECs and clubs

Colleges and Universities A-Z Washington University in St. Louis
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<p>My son is a freshman at WashU and he makes friends easily. Just the same, he's tried to join many different groups at WashU and hasn't been selected. I know some of them are quite selective, dance clubs and EST, but it's still disheartening to be turned away. I just don't think he's busy enough. When he was in HS, he had clubs or an activity or to go to nearly every night. Any suggestions? </p>

<p>PS: he's tells me he's fine and that he's busy enough with classes. Maybe this just takes time. But can anyone share what they do at school.</p>

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<p>95% of the clubs on campus aren’t selective, btw.</p>

<p>Personally, I’m involved in 3 things.<br>
One is a sports club that has practice twice a week.
One is a minor thing that only takes up an hour a week.
One is pretty major and sucks up my life- I’m on the exec board so I spend at least 10 hours a week on it.</p>

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<p>“I just don’t think he’s busy enough.”
He says he’s fine. So, he’s fine.<br>
First semester freshman year is the worst…for parents.<br>
My D1 was involved in studies and partying 1st year. And a huge community service committment. And, did I say partying? 2nd year: studying, partying, comm svc, a political campaign, 2 clubs (both involving issues/lecturers and fundraising,) a casual sports thing- oh, and one extra course. We laugh at how worried we were last year.
Kids need to figure this out themselves. A lot of their growth now comes from peers, not us. That’s one reason 1st year is so hard on parents. :)</p>

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<p>I’m happy they have so many teams, and I suppose, I’m happy they are at such a high caliber, but this is a kid who tried out for many activities and ended up with nothing. What’s that? I mean, he was in tons of activities at HS: Theatre, Choir, Debate, newspaper, environmental club, French. 4 years ago, he hadn’t found “the one thing” but by getting involved in all sorts of things allowed him to discover his passions. How can he do that when everything is closed?</p>

<p>lookingforward: so glad you’re okay with your DD and her partying. I suppose my son does that too, but he wouldn’t exactly put that on a resume or describe that as a “passion”. As you say, A lot of their growth now comes from peers, not us. How can you find those friends if they’re participating in certain activities but it’s closed off to you? This isn’t my first going off to college, and going to college is a lot more than just your classes, or it should be.</p>

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<p>Dance clubs? I don’t know what you mean by those specifically. Are you talking about something like WuSauce or like one of the groups for Diwali?
And EST is highly selective. I don’t know the figures, but they probably get more than 10x the number of applicants than they can handle.</p>

<p>It seems as if he only tried out for 2 things… 2 of only a few things that are actually selective. Most things are NOT.</p>

<p>Just on some of the things you mentioned: unless it’s varsity, sports are NOT selective (there’s club levels and intramurals). Theater is open to pretty much anyone (especially if they have a background in high school). The debate clubs are open to anyone. The newspaper (studlife) is always looking for people. There’s probably half a dozen environmental groups. And there’s a lot that the french society does (la table, for example).</p>

<p>If he hasn’t found anything, it’s because he’s barely trying.</p>

<p>Also, to your note on partying: EST kids are some of the biggest partiers on campus (and they have some amusing hazing for the new recruits).</p>

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<p>Ah, but he has 3.5 more years to go. Remember this: by his senior year in hs, he was “top of the heap,” one of the older kids, a leader of sorts; often seniors are given some sort of priority role in activities. Now, he’s low man on the totem pole. Freshman basically know no one when they arrive- every single aspect of their lives has to be reforged- from when to eat, to how to get laundry done to a whole new system ofclasses, teachers and expectations. And then there’s the social challenge.</p>

<p>There was a thread last month about an excetional singer, many years, semi-pro performances, etc- she did not get into the chorus/choir at coll and was devastated. Another gal with a similar background posted she’s had the same problem. It was touching to see the pain/connection/rebound. There are activities that are initially selective, stacked against the rookies- very common in the performing arts and anything that is competitive, such as debate. Other activities may simply have been over-enrolled.</p>

<p>The best advice is for him to decide intelligently if this is important to him at this time. If so, purse other EC options. If not, concentrate on schoolwork and making friends with the kids who are around him. Unless he aims to be a professional performer, dance, theatre, chorus, etc are not resume material.</p>

<p>As for making friends, I’ll assume he’s in a dorm, where kids interact, watch sports together, head for meals together, etc. Kids bond in class, form study groups, meet up at the library. He can volunteer on some effort, go to sports events, school sponsored concerts, dances, etc. This is an important time to forge his way through.</p>

<p>Right now, the best thing youcan do for your present and future relationship with him is to be there if he falls, but otherwise let him handle this. You said he claims he’s fine.</p>

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<p>Just to clarify, he’s not failing, not homesick, and has made plenty of friends. But, he only seems to have his classes (plus study groups). He doesn’t seem to be as involved in clubs as he once was. I’m happy to report, he’s going on an outing this weekend.</p>