@Pizzagirl while I am a member of the NRA, I hadn’t heard of the MRA 'til you posted about it…however, I’m certainly against neo-feminism, if that is what you’re talking about, though I think women should have good career opportunities if they work hard to achieve (especially compared to the drunk frat-guy meatheads that graduate with 2.5’s and get good jobs because they have alumni connections). And I don’t think I’m “owed a hot girl”; rather, I believe that through hard work I have earned the privilege to have a chance with someone truly amazing and remarkable that is a great fit to my likings. As for the A-spectrum, most likely a bit of OCD, but nothing too serious. My best friend has ADHD and takes adderall, though.
@bjkmom please don’t take every word I say to mean something equivalent to treating a woman like a sexual object. What I meant by that was that I would take her as far as being open to dating her. And she would take me because I am highly successful at everything I do, extremely passionate and extremely loving and also have a heck of a sense of humor and am great with women.
@bodangles; Holden’s secret illegitimate half-brother’s grandchild, but only with a polar opposite view on school and discipline, plus the fact I actually gave a pretty Geology T.A. “the time” the weekend before my first day of classes my first semester in college (rather than lamenting to a guy like old Stradlater how I wasted the opportunity to neck the janitor’s daughter, etc).
@Ynotgo I don’t want to start having kids until I’m like 27-30. I want to have a custom-built mini mansion at age 29½, within driving distance of the big city I work in but not too close to other peeps so as to comply to some BS city ordinance/HOA laws. If she’s pregnant and working, that’s fine, and I will spoil her extra rotten whenever she is pregnant, you better believe me!
@DrGoogle while they are surrounded by a high proportion of men, you can throw out the internationals (30%) and the nerds and otherwise introverted or odd guys (another 30%). That leaves a very slim male majority. And many of those are less likely to have great career prospects due to lower GPAs. I am the intelligent man of choice to suit any fine young lady that is worthy of my beautiful heart and brain.
Your post does come across as arrogant. Your experience with pledging got you feedback that you seem arrogant.
This is a big turn off socially.
I do not think you are ready for a serious relationship. It seems like you have more growing up to do.
@scholarme The thing I have learned about arrogance throughout my many years on this planet is… It is acceptable when one can back it up. Of course, nobody respects the self-complimenting type whenever their own performance is comparatively iffy or worse (such as the president of the US), put considering that I am superior and exemplary at everything I do, and beyond (did I mention I was the president of the UNT Pharmacy association?) I feel I have earned the right to articulate to others the sheer awesomeness of myself.
@NoVADad99 Not a joke at all; I am seeking answers. I want true and honest advice. A person on the first page offered to recommend his/her friends to me, if only I would be interested in their major and find them attractive.
@bjkmom Biologically… you know 100% what I meant. Though I have no doubt the kid is smart and cool and was lucky to be adopted by you. And, for the record, beautiful girls’ parents all love me, and have fawned over me ever since my ninth grade year in high school (did I also mention that I was the valedictorian of a class of 600+ students? This is true).
There is a line between self confidence and arrogance. Women are attracted to men who they feel see them as real people, can relate to them. They are also in general incredibly attracted to men who display traits that show they would be good fathers one day.
A big turn off is a guy who seems to think he is God’s gift to women.
So, just some fodder for introspection.
When my kids were young, they sometimes did something stupid and got into trouble. Afterwards, we would have a “do-over.” We would kiss and make up, and pretend that the ugliness had never happened.
This is your do-over.
Here’s the post I’ll pretend you started with:
“I’m a single 21 year old guy with traditional values. Where do I find a like minded young woman, bright and caring, and willing to spend time developing a long lasting relationship?”
And here’s my answer:
The girl of your dreams isn’t in a bar. She’s not playing damsel in distress. She’s smart and caring, so she’s doing smart, caring things. She’s at a local fundraiser, participating in a cause she believes in. She’s taking a fitness class. She’s in the library, studying. She’s working part time to support herself while she’s in school.
So you do the same things. Find causes you believe in-- political, health related, animals, children, disaster relief, whatever, and pitch in.
Head to the local park with a Frisbee (and, if you have a dog, bring him. It’s a great conversation starter.)
Find career organizations/ events and participate.
The idea is that you concentrate on things you love to do, so you’re likely to find a woman who likes the same things.
And don’t rush to judgment about her appearance or her major or anything else. Give yourself, and her, time to see whether there’s anything there.
I’m having great doubt about the comment"having one heck of a sense of humor", it doesn’t come through your post. If you do in real life, you can look like a space monkey or as useful as a pineapple ( sorry I’m borrowing from another thread) you will get lost of beautiful and stunning girls.
You’d be quite surprised, OP. While you may be quick to throw out the internationals, nerds, and introverted, the ladies in engineering are not. For example, of one of my classes guys make up 85% of the class. Of that 85%, there are perhaps three that are highly questionable. That’s about 77% of the class that’s date-able. Those are some strong odds. Are you sure your pull is strong enough?
@bjkmom Your advice is greatly appreciated…you seem like a very nice person indeed… & I have a few comments:
You are absolutely correct, the bar scene is not a great place to find a life soulmate. The bar is ideal for guys who want to get laid and don't care who it's with and aren't interested in more than a one or two-night hookup.
I barely have time to go to the rec, and when I do, I'm just playing basketball or lifting weights -- with other guys. As far as the library or computer lab goes, while it's true that desirables would be likely to be studying or completing homework, the problem is it is considered rude to interrupt someone when they're busy (I wouldn't like it if someone just barged in when I was on paragraph 6 of 8 on my paper and wanted to talk about irrelevant things). Other people in the library are socializing with groups; there are literally next to nobody that are alone. As far as working part time, I work part-time as a TA/tutor as I have mentioned multiple times. My co-workers are mostly male international graduate students, and literally the only 2-4 females are either 40 or arranged-married Indian graduates.
As far as causes, I just don't do them. Out of the things you mentioned, the only thing I'd remotely care about is "health related" but I'm mostly a money person and devote my time to making money, career searching, and academics.
There are no local parks in my small college town. Out of the 60,000 residents, over 40,000 are college students and most of the rest are ex-college students or straight-up hippies. Why would there be a park off-campus or really anything off-campus when there are virtually no children and teenagers? Also, I don't have a dog, my apartment doesn't allow them, and I wouldn't want one anyways. I don't like them, to be honest -- personal preference.
I agree with your next to last sentence, but as I have iterated in the past there really aren't a whole lot of females in my degree plan and the ones that are there I already know and they are acquaintances; many are non-traditional and married, since my major isn't exactly a "party major". To your last sentence, you have to remember that ambition and money matters to me. I cannot date someone who has no feasible career aspirations, doesn't care about the money, or thinks she's going to make $100k out of undergrad with a speech pathology major. It's simply put, not going to work out.