Questions for Current Exeter Students

<p>@classicalmama: As a parent, what is your opinion of mixed-grade dorms? Also, do you think there is enough age-appropriate supervision and support for the youngest students? Is there any restriction on study time or encouragement of sleep time?</p>

<p>All in all, I think the mixed grade dorms are a good thing. Prep year, in particular, when my son was adjusting and going through a period of intense homesickness, I was SO grateful for those kind senior proctors, who made a point of checking in on him informally, telling him stories of their prep year, intervening when things got too noisy during study hours, etc. And he was always able to find help with studying whatever subject because there was always at least one older student who had BTDT. I remember him cheerfully telling me about a senior in his dorm ripping apart one of his essays and the finding the “math genius” on the floor above who could explain anything. I’ve only heard of one dorm where there was any bullying or hazing of younger students by older, and the school intervened appropriately. By and large, the older students set a great example for the younger students–they are busy with activities, settled into good study habits, and by junior year, focused on doing well with an eye on college admits. </p>

<p>In retrospect, my son has told me that the advantage to freshman dorms would be having more choice to live with guys with whom he had more in common. He and his roommate both considered switching dorms after prep year because they were pretty much the only athletes in their class in the dorm, which meant a really different set of priorities and time commitments. It’s possible to switch after freshman year, but means switching advisers, losing any priority you might have in choosing a room, and adjusting to a new dorm culture, so ultimately they both stuck it out. I’m glad, as I think it has made him make and maintain strong bonds with guys he would never normally hang out with but whom he now counts among his closest friends. </p>

<p>How strictly faculty enforce lights out and study hours really varies from dorm to dorm. However, I think it’s easy to pull a late night of studying at Exeter if you want to. From what I gather, in my kid’s dorm, they tend to leave the guys alone for the most part, definitely keeping more of an eye on the preps than the seniors (I remember my kid’s adviser encouraging him to study with other preps in the lounge during study hours, and visiting with him pretty regularly to check in). Mostly I think that they let the kids manage themselves, and provide some intervention when needed–which is perfect for my kid, who has always been extremely independent and hates to be micromanaged. Kids who need more structure, however, can founder. For example, it’s definitely possible for a kid to mess around during study hours (as long as he isn’t disturbing others) and then stay up too late to make up the work. Over time, most figure out how to manage their workload in a healthy way.</p>

<p>Thanks, very helpful!</p>

<p>Valdog,</p>

<p>Wow, this is an unexpected escalation! I’m not sure what has gotten into you, but your comments deserve some responses:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>The source of the “outright invalid data” was Exeter itself, courtesy of Benley. It was not something I cooked up. The data was presented in a particular manner, and I just happened to shuffle and look at them from another angle. In response to your earlier post, I was simply making a statement that the difference between 4-yr seniors and 2 or 3-yr seniors was so striking that adding one more case to the data from whole class of students wouldn’t change the conclusion. </p></li>
<li><p>OP is in 9th grade, applying for 10th grade. 5 of OP’s 10 questions were related to academics, GPA, etc. So I figured OP might be concerned why 3-yr seniors in general have lower GPA. How is this not relevant?</p></li>
<li><p>No one has said “everything is numbers driven,” and I agree with you. I use numbers and data to help guide decisions, but there are almost always other non-quantitative factors playing important roles in any decision-making. However, if you ignore historical data, sooner or later they will come back and bite you. That’s how “experienced” professionals got beaten–and badly–by Billy Beane and Miachel Burry in baseball and Wall Street.</p></li>
<li><p>If you could keep the scope of your discussions to what’s on the table, your comments will be more appreciated. If you disagree with any argument, you can discuss it for its merits or lack thereof. There’s no reason to attack the person with whom you happen to disagree.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Peace out…</p>

<p>Sharing Gift: It makes people defensive when you jump to the most negative conclusion when looking at data: the teachers must grade easier prep year because the 4-year GPA is higher; the counselors must not be doing a god job because many students don’t get accepted at Ivies. Not saying we shouldn’t all be polite to each other; I just think that’s why people get their hackles up.</p>

<p>It surprises me that there is any question why the GPA of a 4-year student would be higher. Four year students have the opportunity to take 100 and 200 level classes that are meant to transition students into the Harkness system and into the harder work of their upper and senior years. It’s not that those classes are graded more easily; It’s that they are 100 and 200 level classes (think about the difference between your introductory level classes in college and your major classes in terms of complexity and intensity). Also, the students have been patiently trained that first year in the Harkness method, in documenting sources meticulously, in Exeter’s peculiar method of doing math, etc.; new students must learn both new methods (mostly by osmosis) AND difficult content where the more seasoned Exonians can just focus on content.</p>

<p>@twinsmama
The dorms are an important aspect of the Exeter experience, and mirror the Harkness system at Yale and Harvard, where students identify with their dorm and live in the same dorm all 4 years. I think it is one of the best parts of Exeter.</p>

<p>The preps move in a day or two earlier than most of the students, except the proctors (selected seniors). The proctors physically help the new students move in, and the first night and all next day activities are designed in the dorm to introduce the preps to each other, get comfortable in the dorm, and get oriented to Exeter. There may be 8-12 new preps in larger dorms. They have pizza parties, ice cream parties, parents meet the advisors before they leave, and students meet frequently with the advisors, several of whom live in the dorm and several of whom may live next door in houses. </p>

<p>Our advisor sent many pictures to us via e-mail of the dorm orientation process. The dorm proctors and advisors are very hands-on with the new preps. </p>

<p>Then the rest of the students move in, and basically adopt the new preps. The traditions of the dorm, more meals and activities, all are designed to include the preps and help them develop bonds to the dorm. Doors are open, and lots of homework help and advice is available. When not in class, preps only have a little time after dinner before they are required to be in the dorm for study hours.</p>

<p>Exeter is a big place and the dorm is “home”, a place of support and refuge. Birthdays are celebrated (we send a BIG cake thru a local bakery). The dorm faculty live on each floor (with about 10 students on a floor in larger dorms), and frequently knock on student doors if they are not already open. All students are physically checked in each evening, and cannot leave without pre-approved plans. </p>

<p>Out Ds advisor (who is head of the dorm and lives on the first floor) e-mailed us frequently about her progress, and he always included lots of detail that demonstrated he knew our D well. If the students needs to get something from the nearby supermarket or pharmacy, for example, the advisor often gives them a ride. The advisor is also a teacher and coach, so knows the students in several different settings.</p>

<p>The adult to student ratio is 5:1 and frankly I felt like the adults at Exeter were very attuned to my D, and helped calm our parental butterflies exceedingly well. </p>

<p>My Ds prep roommate had some issues come up with her parents calling several times a day, and because of the time zone it was often the middle of the night. The advisor was very supportive and helpful in listening to my D’s concern, helping the roommates discuss it, and helping the roommate communicate respectfully with her parents and suggest alternative ways to communicate without waking everyone up. Problem solved.</p>

<p>In general, prep lights out is encouraged unless there is a special assignment due (when you can stay up later with approval, but cannot annoy your roommate). In my Ds dorm the proctors and dorm faculty open the door and look in.</p>

<p>Thanks, 2prepMom! Exeter was my son’s first interview. I was pretty much in awe of the place and had no idea what to ask about or what to look for. Now I’m completely jaded. :-)</p>

<p>My cousin went to Andover, where they have a grading scale of 1-6. She said that a 5 was considered a really good grade, and a 6 was rare. My cousin went to an ivy, just as about a third of her class did. She LOVED andover, but she also said that since colleges cannot accept too many kids from one school, and since andover is a bunch of ideal kids, its harder to get into colleges simply due to the fact that you go to a school with stellar classmates. Think of it this way, if you are a stellar student anyway and go to a regular school with average students, you may have a better shot at getting into harvard because you dont have much or any competition at your school. But if you go to andover, there are many stellar kids so it is much harder. HOWEVER, DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY and think that you should go to a low-performing school just to be better than all your classmates. Andover and schools like it have high-performing students not just because they accept only the best, but also because their programs and curricula are the best. THIS SAID, going to a school like andover can actually boost your chances because of the prestige ( colleges will know that you have to be great to go there and keep your grades up) and because of what you have learned there will give you a leg up. I guess you just have to think about how much a prep school will contribute to you and if your good grades and high scores are because of the school, not your natural talent. </p>

<p>I know by what I just said it may seem as if I am anti-prep school, but I am actually very pro-prep school. I just think that it is an interesting point/perspective to have going into this. THe experience you get from these schools is extremely worth it, and even though you may not get into as good as a school the connections and skills you have gained from your school will actually put you ahead.</p>

<p>@Milliee - one of the questions in the original post was to compare Exeter and Andover.</p>

<p>Wait do you get in trouble if you look up fap videos? Since you’re underage and they can monitor you.</p>

<p>Answer seriously please.</p>

<p>Thank you so much everyone who answered my questions, it really helped me and I decided that I really do want to go to boarding school. Again I just wanted to say I am a reapplicant and I have visited Andover and Exeter. But I am stuck between the two but I am leaning more to exeter. @peter, if u read on and saw my post I said to discard as number 10 because I reworded it wrong. But that was a very funny comment I have to say</p>