<p>Hey! I'm a really shy/introverted girl with mile social anxiety and I'm trying to figure out where the best place for me to go to school is. I do not make friends easily ( I have one friend in high school who just happens to be my boyfriend and he's been my only real friend since fourth grade, and I live in a small town where EVERYONE knows EVERYONE yet I know no one :/ lol). I have a really, really hard time opening up to people. I just don't know how to do it, the concept of letting my guard down is literally paralyzing and incomprehensible to me.</p>
<p>I also really hate crowds with lots of people. I despise small talk, and although I can do it, as i've practiced with it a lot through a bunch of extracurricular activities, It's exhausting. I've gotten good at putting up a chatty facade, but it's incredibly tiresome, bothersome, and is simply a drag. I don't want to be on edge the entire time I'm in college. I definitely handle smaller classroom settings than larger (I will hardly ever talk to the students and hate group projects, but I've never had difficulties getting to know teachers and actually kind of like it, probably because there's obligations with it instead of I'm talking to you just to get to know you.) I also want someplace that doesn't put heavy emphasis on group activities.</p>
<p>I'm also worried about dorm life :/ I went to a summer camp a couple of times where I had to have a roommate and was constantly surrounded by kids and both times I was a wreck. I felt like I had no privacy on my own terms and by the last week I was crying every night and desperately trying to hide my freak out moments during the day. Due to this, I want a university that offers good private boarding for non freshman (I've given up on a single my freshman year :/)</p>
<p>I really want to go to a very good school. I'm really ambitious and want to go somewhere that will really push me academically. I've been working in high school to top tier and have had good luck so far (Accpeted at TU and several public universities, likely letter from columbia, and I'm a finalist for John. B Ervins at WUSTL so I think that's a good admissions sign.) I've applied to around 16 or 17 schools that cover a wide variety of schools, from large public, midsize private/ivy, to small liberal arts colleges and I'm trying to figure out my best fit. Where would you advise? and what advice would you give to me on trying to figure out how to calm down and actually open up a little so i can get some friends?</p>
<p>College is about opening up and branching out. In fact, activities that happen outside the classroom should be just as important as activities inside. If you don’t meet people at all, you might as well just go to an online school. </p>
<p>That said, some schools that have more low-key students
-William and Mary
-Emory
-Davidson
-Rice
-Certain Christian colleges
-Certain women colleges such as Bryn Mawr</p>
<p>Thanks! I know I need to work on it, but it just seems hard :/. I hope I’m able to get over it or i won’t last through college, and online classes would never work for me as back up (I have AWFUL alone work ethic). It’s so overbearing! I’m really starting to wish I had planned for a non college backup in case it doesn’t go well :/</p>
<p>I don’t mean to be hurtful, but the reactions you describe go beyond ordinary introversion and shyness and will be a big problem for you well beyond college even if you do get your degree successfully. In your career you’ll have co-workers, supervisors and workplace politics to contend with at the very minimum, and when you first start working you may have to live with a roommate to make ends meet. You’ll need to be able to make social connections or your life will be painfully lonely. I think that before leaving for college you should seek a professional diagnosis for your issues. You may have severe social anxiety, which is treatable with therapy and/or medication. You may have an Aspergers-like condition which would allow you to get special accommodations at school, such as a single room. I’m just throwing ideas out, but what you describe seems so disabling that, if you were my kid, I wouldn’t allow you to start college until you were properly diagnosed and treated. Life only gets more challenging as the years go on. This is the time to address your problems in a serious way. All the best to you.</p>
<p>hmm… I never thought of going to a psychologist. My family looks down upon it. It makes sense though kind of, no one in my family is social. We have no social network despite living in the same place for 18 years and my brother dropped out of college because he couldn’t handle the stress and he was living at home and couldn’t take it. I’m going to talk to my parents about it.</p>
<p>Perhaps your school has a social worker or school psychologist? That might be a good place to start.
I agree with the above advice. Being shy means you hold back a little when meeting new people. It does NOT mean “freaking out” and crying because you are sharing a room. You can’t just “get over it” on your own, you need some professional help.</p>
<p>Someone above mentioned Bryn Mawr. I don’t think of them as that low key, even though it is a women’s college. Mount Holyoke might be a good fit.</p>
<p>It is late to do this now, but you might be able to request a medical single IF you can get some kind if anxiety diagnosis (as Momma J mentions). One of my daughters is quite shy (also a HS senior), but has gotten to the point where she can share a room at camp, etc. This used to be hard for her, though. But I agree with the posters saying that at this point in your life, you probably should seek some professional help. College (dorming, classes, etc) could be a lot more fun if you do this. You don’t really have anything to lose from seeing a doctor about this; you can always decide not to follow whatever course of treatment they recommend.</p>
<p>I went to an all-Girls school and loved it. It was the most Serene, supportive , and sincere group of people, I would recommend a mono Ed college from the bottom of my heart! </p>
<p>You sound very much like my Daughter (and me). I agree with much of the advice you have been given, but I did disagree with one statement. I don’t think it is necessarily true that “Life only gets more challenging as the years go on.” The high school years can be very difficult to navigate. Once you are out on your own, you have more opportunities to make your life what you want it to be, more choices, more flexibilty of lifestyle.
We are thinking that a smaller or mid sized school would be best for my D. I think there is a lot to be said for big schools and there is a lot you can get involved in, but our thinking is that the large school would feel more overwhelming, and you are probably more on your own to seek out connections. I think somewhere where you regularly see the same people might be best.</p>