Some side things…
Please don’t misinterpret me “wanting bragging rights.” Like all parents, I want her dreams to come true, whatever they may be. Thinking that I need to be the adult and encourage “playing it safe,” is where I’m torn.
Fortunately, finances are not a piece to this puzzle.
I’m also in the camp of using ED only if there is a clear number 1. I’ve honestly never understood the idea of playing it safe and ED’ing to a less selective school just to be “sure” of admission.
There are so many schools in the US, with tons of overlap, with all kinds of selectivity, that the key is a balanced list, not getting hung up on one or two schools.
Yup, I agree ED should be a clear number 1 (my own D did ED1 and knew without a doubt it was her top choice) and it should never be a situation that leads to “what if”… hence the question about who was actually saying that.
OP, sorry if I cam off a bit more abrupt than I meant to about “bragging rights”, it was partly in response to the wearing merch comment. What I did want to say is - and I think you are doing this anyway - please be careful not to make your kid feel she will let you down by applying to a “level 2” college.
My sister and I thought about burning the ED at an Ivy but we visited all the schools we were interested in around the country and we both found the one that was a perfect fit for each of us. We used our ED’s at those schools and it worked out. It was nice knowing early and not having to deal with all the stress. DO we both wonder if we would have gotten into the other schools? Sure we do but we don’t really care because those weren’t our top choices.
I get where you are coming from. That said, if your clear number 1 is a school that you have less than a 5% chance of getting into and your clear number 2 is a school where you have a better than 50% chance of getting into if you apply ED, I can see the argument that the smart play is to apply ED to the number 2 school. I don’t think there is any wrong or right way to go. It’s a decision that the applicant (with the help of their parents) has to make.
I agree people do use ED strategically. Spend any time on CC and you’ll see that it’s also the “strategic” use of ED that leads to all the regretful/what if posts.
She could apply EA (if available) or RD, but show a lot of demonstrated interest – sign up for several virtual events, self-tour, email program, etc. ED is great, but financially not for everyone, and schools can protect yield whilst recognizing demonstrated interest.
I think the question rests on how happy she is with her 3rd choice, if neither school comes thru? Our valedictorian applied EA to HYSPM against school’s advice, and thus forfeited his ED chance at places like CMU or Rice. He would have been admitted to either ED, but was rejected RD and ended up at his safety, which he did not like.
Sometimes it does. And sometimes applying ED to a school that you have very little chance of getting into leads to regrets as well. Unfortunately, none of us has a crystal ball, so you make decisions based upon your own degree of risk tolerance, willingness to settle etc … and hope for the best.
With both my kids we went with the philosophy “Choose ED out of love…not fear.”
My second kid is class of 2021. And, trust me, we came this close to succumbing to the fear this year. We started hearing about significant increased competition due to test optional and he almost put in an ED app at a place that wasn’t his first choice. All because we were afraid he’d get blanked at the top schools without the ED boost.
Flash forward a few months and we have uttered the words “thank god he didn’t do ED” more times than I care to count. He bet on himself and got into two awesome programs…both of them are cheaper than the ED school, more highly ranked, and excite him more.
Same thing happened with my older child. Against all odds she was the first from our entire school district to get accepted to a HYP school. She probably wouldn’t be there now if she’d thrown her hat in the ED ring.
Honestly, in my heart of hearts, I just wish that ED didn’t exist. It’s sort of sad to see kids have to trade in their shot at a dream school for an increased chance at another…just so schools can protect their yield.
Well - sometimes - maybe even often - the dream school is the ED school that works out. Not everyone’s dream is top 3/something that only offers EA.
I do love the “choose ED out of love not fear” line in your post!
Still not clear to me “who” is recommending that OP”s daughter do ED to what is currently not the first choice school, or what the rationale is. I know it is assumed here that it is purely strategic, but knowing if that is the case or not might be useful.
I have no idea how to include snippets of people’s previous comments to answer properly and I’m too chicken to experiment with all of the symbols I’m offered to try and do so. (please don’t feel inclined to teach me - it’s okay!)
@smiles2122 I’m under the impression that many kids are getting deferred this year. In the back of my head, I’m thinking if she were to get deferred from ED, then it would be “open season” and let the chips fall where they may! (That would make even kookier to hope for a deferral!)
@TheBigChef Your post #2, spells out exactly everything that I am trying to convey - down to the acceptance rate percentages!!
@roycroftmom I appreciate you bringing that up. She’d have to be okay with her 3rd choice. One plan, she gives up her #1 no matter what. The second plan, she potentially sacrifices her #1 and #2 and needs to accept her #3. (with a chance of a nice surprise) The first plan sounds stronger to get a school that she ranks higher on her personal list.
@DoingOurBest Your “…love…not fear” is VERY powerful. Thank you for that!
I know there are BIG day to day challenges that everyone is facing and I deeply appreciate each of you taking the time to give your perspectives on this topic. I feel very fortunate to have a child in a position like this… I just don’t want to blow it on my end!
Oh absolutely…totally agree! Brown, Cornell, Duke, Penn, Carnegie…They’re all ED schools that are the #1 choice of many kids.
But I still don’t love the philosophy behind ED.
As a solidly middle class family with no chance of need-based aid, we also had to weigh the better acceptance rate of ED against the certainty of being full-pay at the expensive ED school…with no other offers to comparatively consider alongside it.
As an example, one of my kids considered EDing to one of the schools mentioned above. One of the “cons” of the school was the exorbitant price tag. We decided it would be financially irresponsible to sign on the dotted line via ED and not even consider other merit options that may come our way.
No matter how they sell it, ED is better for the schools than for the students (unless the students are very very rich; or the student has a ton of need and it’s a meets-full-need school)
OP has indicated finances are not an issue, taking her at her word, so that’s not an issue here.
Wow, you took me very literally about top 3 there. There are many more perfectly good schools that people are thrilled to get into ED.
I wasn’t specifically referencing the OP’s quandary. Just my thoughts on ED in general.
Never said there weren’t more than what I listed. Those were just the ED schools that popped into my head.
“Level 1”, “Tier 1”, are all so much fertilizer. Once kid’s #1, is another kid’s "I wouldn’t even look at it.
What is important is: colleges which have the largest number of elements that a kid wants are their “Tier 1” and so forth an so on.
After all, if a kid is interested in being an animal scientist, are you going to claim that Harvard is a “tier 1” for them? It’s not even in the running. A kid who wants to go to a rural college which has fewer than 3,000 students wouldn’t consider Yale to be a “tier 1” college, and a kid who is looking for colleges only the the Southeast is not going to rank Princeton or Stanford as “tier 1”.
In the case of the OP, it seems that indeed the college which is popular and has low acceptance rates is their top choice for reasons other than “Prestige”. However, since college #2 is also at the top, it may not be #1, but should be in that top tier.
Do you trust your school’s college counselor? A good counselor will be very valuable in objectively assessing your child’s chances, particularly within the context of your school, its other applicants, and naviance. Personally, I almost never suggest applicants waste their early strategic advantage on HYPSM unless they are hooked. The admission odds for certain demographic subgroups are well below the overall admission rate, in the 2 or 3 percent range.
I am not a fan of ED, I think it ends up forcing a lot of kids to pick a college really before they are ready out of fear. My younger son almost applied ED at a school that, in retrospect would have been a terrible fit for the young man he became. He got into a level 2 school that offers ED even though his math SAT score was in their bottom 25%. My older son actually got into a Level 1 school, but turned it down for a school whose CS department was tied for number 1 even if the school overall was less prestigious.
Maybe we were lucky, but I think that if you can put a good application together you will be attractive no matter how you apply.
My oldest used ED because she had a clear #1 school and wanted to be done with the process (she likes certainty). It was the right choice for her due to those very specific circumstances. We also knew (based on an early financial pre-read) that she would qualify for enough merit to meet our budget; happily she was awarded several thousand dollars more than the pre-read indicated.
If any one of those pieces hadn’t existed (clear #1, wants to commit early and be done, can easily afford price in budget) our daughter wouldn’t have apply ED.
It definitely isn’t the right choice for everyone, and I wouldn’t recommend it as a general principle. Neither of our next two children are planning on ED during their application season.