<p>@entomom: I “don’t consider it one of the important philosophical questions in life”.</p>
<p>Neither do I. It appears that what was intended to be a small, pragmatic question has touched off some larger issues. Maybe it’s those issues I’m getting a whiff of with the reactions I mentioned. While I can see both sides of the argument, my natural tendency is to just say it like it is. I think I’d feel even more awkward turning it into a game of 20 questions to get it out of me. I definitely see how that could come across worse, depending on the circumstances.</p>
<p>Who knows, maybe I’m carrying some of the same stereotypes around and that’s making me uncomfortable as well. Or perhaps I’m just so happy, relieved and proud of my son that I’m afraid it will show and appear boastful. It will just take some getting used to Again, my issue.</p>
<p>Funny–we have heard similar and usually go with </p>
<p>In CT…</p>
<p>If asked–and we say Yale…w
e then joke that “it must skip a generation”…
and we also say something about how we admire K1 being bright and the hard work K1 does …</p>
<p>If the $ question comes into play–and they ask how much it costs–we give them a strong direct look and give them the full boat retail #…and leave it at that…</p>
<p>If they are friends–with younger kids -we tell them that they need to check out the costs of colleges…and how it ranges from 35-50s etc…
It moves the conversation to the costs of colleges…</p>
<p>We are thrilled K1 has the opportunity to be at Yale and it is K1s achievement, not ours. We are humbled and grateful K1 is there. We totally downplay it…</p>
<p>I tend to agree with memake, that by evading the question you’re sending a message that you must spare the listener envy and a sense of inferiority. I have twins: one at Yale and one at Georgetown’s School of Foreign Service. I’m immensely proud of them and simply don’t believe in playing the silly “my daughter attends a school in CT” or “…in DC” game. My Yalie daughter, however, does it frequently and it always comes off as condescending to me. My Georgetown daughter says it like it is. But I’ve often thought about the fact that had my daughters chosen one of the “flagship” publics they were admitted to–UCLA or Cal–not in a million years would they have responded with “I go to college in CA” to spare one’s feelings. Memake makes a valid point.</p>
<p>Nor would they have been given ‘the look’. Your example supports the ‘in CT’ point.</p>
<p>There are pros and cons on both sides, validity in both POVs. But for the OP and I’d guess most of the members posting, it’s an interesting discussion, but not an earth shattering ‘issue’.</p>
<p>I kind of agree with memake, people on CC make too much of nothing. A few years ago, I went to my club and met a bunch of Yale kids on Spring break so I asked them where they went to college and they told me Yale. I’m glad they didn’t answer a school in CT. I would think they are full of themselves.
This thread made me think of this youtube that was posted on the Princeton forum.
<a href=“The Ivy League Hustle (I Went to Princeton, ■■■■■) - YouTube”>The Ivy League Hustle (I Went to Princeton, ■■■■■) - YouTube;
<p>Oh well, reminds one of a story - of the man, his son and the donkey!
Bottom line, you can please the world. Be thankful for blessings, be kind to others and for the rest…</p>
<p>I used to say Connecticut when I was the one referencing it, such as “DD is going to school in Connecticut” when I was making more of a point about geography than academics, but when directly asked which school, that seems evasive. I never got the “you must be rich” so much as “he/she must be really smart.”</p>
<p>^Great video! I got a funny response this past weekend. I was in a Midwestern city dropping off my older son (not a Yalie) for his ChemEng summer internship. Old friends whom I hadn’t seen since I was pregnant with S1 invited us to dinner. As we frantically tried to catch up on 21+ years of news they asked about where S2 went to school. I responded “Yale” and the husband said “…Yale (pause)…Yale?..you mean YALE Yale?” haha, Yes, I guess, Yale Yale.</p>
<p>I have one who graduated from Yale and one from Pomona. Now when people ask where my kids went, I start with my son and by the time they have figured out where/what Pomona is, and hearing about how happy he was there, etc., etc., they have forgotten all about my Dd. ;)</p>
<p>But now sis has a bigger problem because she went to grad school at H. People sometimes do look at her like an alien if they know she went to both. She does think it hurts her in some social situations, so she’s learned how to re-direct the conversation away from herself with a bit of finesse.</p>
<p>Moonchild, I also have a Yale grad and a Pomona grad. My youngest kid got into both and is going to Yale. He really did not want to stay close to home. We went from four years of Yale reaction to four years of “Huh?” about Pomona. Now it’ll be another four years of the Yale reaction.</p>
<p>Sorry to reach back in the thread, but as a first timer, slogging through every book on college admissions in our local library, please tell me about how Yale was more affordable than UW-Madison. I am starting to get very discouraged, looking at the costs.</p>
<p>I’m not aware of UW-Madison’s costs, but for me, attending UCLA or UC Berkeley (as an in-state) would cost almost 3 times as much as attending Yale will. I think the main reason (if not the only reason) for this is that Yale has such a large endowment that they can afford to meet all “demonstrated need.” Yale’s FA office will calculate an expected family contribution (EFC), which is what they believe your family should be able to pay towards your education; the school will cover the rest of the cost.</p>
<p>Most (if not all) public universities are unable to do this, simply because they don’t have enough money. So unless you come from a very wealthy family, Ivy League schools like Yale often cost less than in-state public universities, even though the sticker price for Ivy Leagues are higher.</p>
<p>I guess I have the opposite problem of the members here. My circle of friends are so competitive about their kids that I will be really ashamed if my D ended up at Rutgers.</p>
<p>@Mrspepper: @314159265 is exactly right. We live in MN and while we have reciprocity with the state of WI, we would have had to pay full price at UW-Madison. Yale’s endowment is so large that the financial aid is pretty incredible if you’re in the income bracket that usually doesn’t receive much, if any, aid.</p>
<p>So here is an interesting twist I was unaware of – my daughter and son were discussing this topic last night – the reaction people have when they ask about their college. My daughter said that it’s very common for girls who went to Ivies to say the name of the state when they are first meeting a guy they might be interested in. This is because some guys will lose interest right away when they find out a girl went to an Ivy if they did not and so girls will often break the news more slowly to give the guy a little time. This is kind of sad. She showed me a youtube video (don’t think I can post the link) that is pretty funny (and strong in language) where a guy and girl are on a first date and he’s droning on about having gone to Wharton and how fabulous it was and being very condescending. He finally says, “Where did you go to college?” She says, “New Jersey” and he assumes Rutgers and says a few patronizing things and then she stands up and breaks into a rap called the Ivy League Hustle about how "I went to Princeton. DD said that the video, while funny, absolutely captures the experience that Ivy League girls sometimes have after graduating when they meet a guy.</p>
<p>Regarding net price of Yale vs. UW-Madison. The NCES search site College Navigator (I assume its OK to refer to a non-profit Website) has a feature for doing net-price comparisons at various income levels, thus adjusting for potential financial aid. Here is a comparison for Yale vs. UW OOS.</p>
<p>Net Price for full-time beginning undergraduate students who received Title IV Aid by income
Annual Income ---------UW---------Yale
$0 – $30,000----------$6,363------$6,025
$30,001 – $48,000----- $10,098-----$7,482
$48,001 – $75,000-----$15,286-----$7,818
$75,001 – $110,000----$19,482-----$10,521
$110,001 and more-----$20,442-----$29,858</p>
<p>Note that Yale is considerably cheaper at low-to-middle income ranges (again, for OOS students). I believe what is left at the lowest level are strictly personal expenses (travel and the like) as Yale will cover all tuition and room-board for income levels below $65K. Of course this is based on statistically aggregated data and financial aid is, at bottom, an idiosyncratic process. In other words, your mileage may vary. But well-endowed, full-need schools like Yale can be cheaper than public U’s…if admission can be gained.</p>
Again, my issue.</p>