<p>I think the writing style is ok, but I don't think it's deep enough. I feel as if it describes an experience more than it does myself, and it really doesn't tell the admission officers much about me as a person. Should I find a way to change that (if so, tell me how) or should I scrap the essay and start over altogether?</p>
<p>I'll read your essay, if you like.</p>
<p>^buuuuumpppppppppppppp</p>
<p>Do you want to trade essays?
I’ll read yours, you read mine?</p>
<p>I’d love to get the chance to read your essay 
I have several years of experience as a tutor and writing coach, and I’ve edited a bunch of essays on CC so far this summer, so hopefully I can be of help to you!</p>
<p>I’ll read it 
I’m an editor for three publications and I might also write about failure, but I’m not sure if the topic I want to write about really fits that prompt</p>