<p>Hear, hear oldfort. Few will have this opportunity again.</p>
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...than have them work at some mindless jobs
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Some of those "mindless jobs" can teach a lot to a teen. It can teach them the responsibility of showing up at work on time even when they might not feel like it (and don't necessarily 'have to' like school), teach them how to interact with a more diverse group of people rather than primarily their peers (picture screaming customers, incompetent co-workers, etc.), and allow them to equate actual 'work' to the income they make which doesn't happen with an allowance.</p>
<p>When a kid receives an allowance to budget they still don't have any 'sweat equity' in it so although they may be able to budget with it, the value of the effort to obtain the dollar still isn't there. In addition, it can provide extra impetus for the person to realize that working in these types of jobs is not what they want for their long-term future and give them even more motivation to succeed financially.</p>
<p>I think working a part time job is a good experience for a teen on many levels. And there are many teens who can manage working a part time job in the summer in addition to doing ECs, volunteer work, sports, vacation, etc. For those on campus, many campuses have part time job opportunities for students where they work typically 10 hours per week and the job is flexible with studies - i.e. they work around things like mid-terms and finals. In addition to giving them extra spending money that they earn directly, they also end up interacting with the staff and students in a different way and can feel more a part of the campus.</p>
<p>Not everyone's situation is the same but there's a lot of benefit to a teen working a part time job that they 'balance' (key word) with their studies and other activities and then using and managing the 'sweat equity' income they earned themselves.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Anyone who has had to moonlight will tell you that it compromises their main job>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>My kids did BETTER grade wise when they were working 10 hours or so a week than when they were not. They had to really budget their time, and allocate time for things like studying and writing papers, in addition to going to class. I think they learned to manage their time better while working..and they both said this was true. In fact at orientation at both universities, the parents were told that research actually supports this...that students do well when they have some work responsibilities.</p>
<p>"...why don't more parents place normal age appropriate expectations on their young adult children?"</p>
<p>There is a wide range of "normal" and parents and their young adult children, not you, define "age appropriate" for themselves.</p>
<p>It's really hard to get a handle on what parents are giving their kids in terms of allowance. I know kids on very miserly allowances but they have a nice stock pile of personal savings or the allowance is in addition to a hefty deposit put towards the campus cash account. Or has a nice loaded credit card.</p>
<p>Agree with Oldfort's Post #40.</p>
<p>Some kids will have great difficulties working and managing college. There is no one size fits all reg out there when it comes to raising kids. </p>
<p>My MIL had a really rough time working her way through college. It's pretty clear now that she has a terrible sleep disorder, one she had all of her life, and needed more time to work on her studies. Ideally freshmen, particularly during first term should not work as it is the time to learn what is what on campus and at school.</p>
<p>However, there are many kids out there who HAVE to work.</p>
<p>I was talking about working summer jobs and/or jobs during school vacation breaks when school is out of session.</p>
<p>thumper1 - I agree - the more that they are doing, the more they'll learn about balancing and juggling and budgeting time. Mine had to learn, but because of sports and other ECs, not a job. In fact, one wound up taking a required course in night school in order to take an extra elective during the day. Having a job would have precluded that opportunity. It was not an unusual that my kids would leave for school at 7 AM and not be home before 9 PM several days a weeks.</p>
<p>My now 23 year old didn't work during her college summers- she spent them abroad, on her college's dime, doing research. She managed to live on the $100 allowance during the school year- $25 a week, basically, for anything else she needed outside of tuition, room and board.<br>
She didn't seem to lack ambition for being supported during college. She's holding down 4 part time jobs and is financially independent, living on the other side of the country.
And having a very good time, I might add.
My son has always worked summers, and works during the school year as well. We still send him the $100 we sent his sister. While he "supports" his car and his photography and rock climbing hobbies with his own funds, I know he socks most of his earned money away, (He opened a CD recently) and I'm thrilled with that. He will have a nest egg when he graduates, which will give him more flexibilty in choosing jobs or grad school when he is truly on his own.</p>
<p>There's more than one way to teach financial responsibility. Personally, I think the examples they see at home growing up make the biggest difference.</p>
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[quote]
Bandtenhut, I do not know where you go to college but I do not believe that NO UNDERGRADUATE at your school is working for extra money. It is harder to find jobs at some school and surrounding areas than others, but I will be happy to call your school admissions office and ask if this is an impossibility at your school.
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</p>
<p>10 spots opened up for a part-time job on campus recently. I was one of over 250 applicants. I didn't say that no undergraduates work. But the demand massively exceeds the supply. It is extremely difficult to get a reliable job.</p>
<p>I currently have a relatively open bank account.
I buy small amounts of groceries (such as milk, cereal, fresh fruit, water) to supplement my meal plan. I also buy my text books and any other up keep items (shampoo, ink, ect.) If I need to replace something a little more strange my mom will send it in her next care package.</p>
<p>My parents don't want me working during the year. With ADD, I work very very slowly and everything takes huge amounts of time. I tried working during high school once for a couple months and it was beyond overwhelming (though I've done summer jobs before). I'm fearful of handling an extra class (and all-over higher level classes) next semester, I couldn't imagine working a job beyond college! I also don't plan on working during the summer this summer. Instead, I plan to take classes to lighten my load during the year to better ensure I keep my scholarships and do well. In the future summers, once I'm farther into my major, I hope to be able to work during the summer so I'm able to buy some personal things like video games and start a savings.</p>
<p>If I don't take down time I catch sicknesses easily (in high school I went over in absences every semester due to severe illnesses, though I've been careful to not overdue and get sick yet!) so I really have to plan everything ahead and budget friend time, tons of study time, and a little rest time. I hate coffee and starbucks is only good for their lemon pound cake (which I've yet to have.) Many campus events are cheap or free so it's not difficult to budget wisely for anything that goes off-campus. I plan to get some clothes (winter jackets) when I go home for Christmas. </p>
<p>Just trying to give a little insight from some of us students who may not have tons of ECs or a job but are trying our hardest!</p>
<p>MY youngest attends a small school and has work study; like BTH she has found obtaining a job to be a real challenge. She went to school with some work experience and a resume and attended a job fair day one plus, she did not dally, but applied to most of the jobs offered her first week on campus. No luck yet. We are hopeful something will open up.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>10 spots opened up for a part-time job on campus recently.>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>What about off campus? Even schools in somewhat rural areas have some kinds of retail businesses in the small towns. I went to a college with a very small town and worked in a pizza place on weekends. Also, I babysat for college professors (they ones in my department all seemed to have young children and they were ALWAYS looking for babysitters...and they paid well).</p>
<p>Our daughter is a sophomore and we deposit $100/month into her account. She worked all summer as the "drink girl" at a local country club driving the cart to take drinks out to the golfers. She made about $2500 working 2-3 days a week. She also comes home every weekend and works on Friday and/or Saturday doing the same job until the course closes in early November. She goes to school in Boston and takes the bus home (she pays). She does have a meal plan but goes to restaurants,shows, and movies occassionally.
She has works hard, does very well in school and has not given us much to worry about....thank goodness.</p>
<p>Somemom is right, this has been discussed many times before. </p>
<p>We put a monthly allowance in a savings account that DS#2 can access on line and electronically transfer $ from as he needs it. He has 2 of his own credit cards now, with a $500 limit on each, is using them sparingly and will pay off his bills in full every month. Plus, he'll be earning interest on the money in savings. Older s did something similar-- and came out of college with many thousands of $$ in savings and a credit score of 780. If that isn't learning to budget and manage money, I don't know what is.</p>
<p>We are giving S#2 the same monthly allowance that S#1 got when he lived on campus. S#2 tried to lobby for a COA increase, but when we stopped laughing we basically told him "take it or leave it". S#1 did tutoring on the side when he was in college to supplement his "allowance". S#2 is looking at job opportunities but is a 1st semester freshman so is still settling in. We are fine with that. He is in several clubs, took a dorm/board position and is doing volunteer work. I am proud of all that and don't feel that he has to add on a paid job, if there was one to be found, at this point.</p>
<p>I dont thik I am "enabling" my boys, nysmile. They are learning to manage their money well and wisely. DS#2 has tried to get us to pickup the tab for some extra things (ie cost of trips with his ultimate frisbee team). We remind him that he has an allowance and he should budget accordingly. </p>
<p>I should also add that DS #2 has a very significant scholarship, so the cost of his college is quite modest (R&B and ancillary costs only-- he has a full tuition scholarship and an additional merit scholarship) so we feel he's done his fair share at contributing to the cost of his education. He knows what it will take to keep the scholarship and he intends to do so. We are very supportive of that.</p>
<p>We are proud of how well our boys seem to have learned to manage their $$. Each has made a boo boo here and there (moved money on line while forgetting how long it taked to clear from one bank to another) and they learned from it. I am happy to help them learn to manage their money. As their parent I consider that part of my job description. I dont feel I have to cut them loose to sink or swim just because they turned 18.</p>
<p>It's wonderful that your children have learned to budget your money---I mean, the money that you give them. For your kids to go through college on a budget that you supply and without having to work at all during the year (or at least during the Summer months) and come out with saving thousands of dollars, you must be putting quite a substantial amount of your money into their liquid savings account. OK--that's not enabling in your opinion. In my opinion, and I seem to be the minority on this, I don't agree with the idea that kids shouldn't have the responsibility to earn a portion of their living expenses/educational expenses. My husband and I could also deposit money into our ages 18-21 children's account but we feel that it's a much more rewarding and self-sufficient feeling for our kids when they can deposit and budget and spend the money that they've earned during their summer and winter college breaks. It surprises me to read on CC that so many parents give their adult children allowances. I'm wondering if having a kid dependent on an allowance given by a parent is subtle way for some parents to maintain control over their kids.
I'm not trying to be judgmental by the way. I'm just trying to understand the difference in opinion.</p>
<p>When D started college, we calculated that every course she took was worth 36K/8=4.5K. I'd much rather she took 2 extra courses a year (in fact she takes 3) than clean tables. My choice. The only stipulation is that she only take challenging classes and try to avoid the easy As. I know that we are lucky enough to afford college ; I undestand and accept other points of view, and I know that many students are obliged to work as part of their Fin Aid.</p>
<p>"...My husband and I could also deposit money into our ages 18-21 children's account but we feel that it's a much more rewarding and self-sufficient feeling for our kids when they can deposit and budget and spend the money that they've earned during their summer and winter college breaks... I'm wondering if having a kid dependent on an allowance given by a parent is subtle way for some parents to maintain control over their kids..."</p>
<p>Some people feel it is much more rewarding for adult children in college to use the time they could have spent working a job for other activities. An allowance isn't a means to control off-spring but rather a gift some parents choose to give their off-spring so that those young adults have the time to pursue opportunities and experiences they may only have during this period in their lives.</p>
<p>It's a difference in philosophy. Some families whose kids do not have to work because there is enough money in the family for college and extras to be paid feel that it is better for the kids to spend their time experiencing college without having to work a job. For some kids, it means extra research, study time, extra course, etc, etc. Or internships, community service, athletics, performing arts. My oldest was a swimmer and his college season spanned nearly the entire school year. Left very little time for a job. Spent some weekends with him and was alarmed at how little study time he had when he was in the competion season, with team activities, travel and meets. Second son is always in a show or working one, or preparing for auditions. Again, a job would be a problem. His friend who is also a musical theatre major had to work, and after a year of getting fired from several jobs, decided he could only go to school part time if he was going to be able to work the shows, audition, catch good opportunities and work for money regularly. I did not want my son to do that. Looking at his schedule, work would be different. Now they did work summers, but I know a number of kids who have opportunities that are truly priceless over the summer, and if they are so fortunate to have parents that can help them out these years so that they can do these things, good for them. SOme of them have done some truly remarkable things that are not going to be easy to do once they are in the regular workforce.</p>
<p>Does that mean those kids who do not have to work during those 4 years of college are going to be financial backward? I don't think so. Some of them do learn to budget on the allowances given, and make a smooth transition in replacing that with their own earning when they finally start in the job world. I've also known kids who have worked for years, and they still have not learned to handle money. I don't know what studies and statistics say about the best way to teach kids to handle money. </p>
<p>My kids never really learned to handle money well. They did not go over at first at college simply because they were so busy on campus that they had little opportunity to spend and they hate to shop. When they got out into the "real" world with all of the choices right out there and time to spend money, they got into trouble. All the years of patterning, advice, charts, letters, reminders, budgets went right out the window. And they did provide much of their own money if not most through high school and college as they earned a lot over the summers. They have always gotten lucrative and multiple summer jobs that gave them enough to stay flush throughout the year. </p>
<p>Oldest is now slowly and painfully learning to live as a lower income person. The second one now living off campus if finding the same, the hard way. He earned a lot this past summer and spent every bit of it so he is now dependent on a miserly allowance that is begrudgingly given by H and me since we are not happy that he did keep any of his summer earnings for the school year. Yeah, we could say, too bad, and we did consider it (H more than I) but in the end we capitulated. I just hope he gets a handle on things this year and that he graduates this school year. Sometimes that's what it comes down to.</p>