Recommendation letter for child applying to alma mater?

What are your thoughts on writing a letter regarding your own child who is applying to your alma mater?

Terrible idea.

no. no. no. And I say that as a parent whose kid is going to my alma mater.

I would not write a recommendation letter. You child will list that he/she is a legacy so admissions will know. I think admissions can safely assume that a parent would recommend his/her child. If you are a significant donor and have contacts at the school outside of admissions, you might inform them that your child is applying.

Thanks. You have confirmed what my gut was telling me. I do know a few parents that have done this though…and recommended I do the same.

“little Joey is the most special and affectionate child in our household”.

Aargh.

Does that letter have a $1M check stapled to it, with promises of more to come? Then no. Don’t do it.

Pointless idea.

At least one college (Smith) asks parents to write a letter about their daughter, if the parents want to. I wouldn’t write a letter for my child if the college or university didn’t indicate it wanted one.

No, absolutely not. (My child attended H’s and my alma mater.)

Ditto. Don’t do it unless requested.

Both my kids applied to my husband’s alma mater. That university offers alumni kids through the alumni office (which isn’t connected to admissions and they make a point of saying that they don’t interact) two hours of free college counseling regardless if the kid is applying to the university, or even has the stats to do so (it’s a single digit acceptance school). Neither time did that counselor suggest my husband write a letter to admission on behalf of his sons. When our second son applied, there wasn’t even a suggestion that our older son, a junior at the school, write a letter about his sibling.

The only letter we wrote for our sons was for the University of Rochester, where we have no ties, because it’s an optional part of the application…an actual request that parents write a letter if they so desired. And we made sure it wasn’t us fawning. We wrote anecdotes that captured aspects of our sons that they wouldn’t glean from their application, like for instance, describing an example of our older son’s brand of humor and his hearty laughter.

Outside of Rochester, the only other school that I know of that requests a recommendation outside of teachers and counselors is Dartmouth. But I think they request a recommendation from a friend or maybe a sibling? I’m not sure about the latter.

@RenaissanceMom, DS wrote a recommendation for his HS best friend for Dartmouth. All’s well that ends well; his friend was accepted. I think the prompt was something similar to “what kind of roommate do you think Bob would be?”

I know some home schooled kids are tempted to get a LoR from a parent, it’s a miserable idea even if you were the child’s teacher. We have many parents teaching their own kids at my kids’ private school (free tuition!) but as far as I know they won’t submit LoRs.

^^^ Dartmouth specifically asks for a peer recommendation. Not the same as a parent writing an unsolicited recommendation for his/her own child.

I know someone who went even farther. He’s a high profile man who graduated from a prestigious east coast university (but not HYC). He only offers letters of recommendations for kids he knows well – and who WILL matriculate at that university if accepted. In other words, if you’re not committed to attending his school, he’s not committed to recommending you. He won’t waste his time playing backup in case the kiddo doesn’t get into Yale.

I think it’s a very sensible policy.

If you’ve ever been involved with boarding schools, then you’ll know that parents are required to fill out essays.

Typically these essays focus on why the family seeks boarding school. It’s not the same as a recommendation letter.

If you feel that your letter could bring a unique perspective on your child’s application consider talking to the alumni office.

I remember my kid was terrified he’d have to write one of those peer recommendations, but in the end I don’t think anyone asked him.

No, no and no. My kid attends my alma mater and I would never have thought it. However, her APUSH teacher was also an alumnus and he wrote a fabulous recommendation letter - or so I was told since I was not privy to it.