Today, I received an email from a school asking me to write a letter telling the admissions department something about my child. This was the first time I had ever heard of such a thing! Is that really worth something? Luckily, I can write. The school said it was entirely optional.
I did one for my younger daughter, for Smith. Whether it made a difference, I don’t know (she was accepted by Smith but had the qualifications on her own), but I relished the opportunity to gush about her.
What a waste of time.
What parent is not going to write good things to a college that their child wants to get into?
I think letters of recommendation are a waste of time in general, but I’ve never been on the receiving end of reviewing college admission packets.
It is rare but a few schools do have them. I’d certainly take advantage of the option and use it an an opportunity to give the admissions dept. more insight into your daughter and her positive attributes – especially since you are a good writer!
We got a request from Smith a few days ago. They made it clear that they’re optional, but we’re going to do it—it seems like fun.
Smith also had the most interesting—but really difficult—of D17’s essay prompts, basically to talk about something that made her laugh in 200 words or less. Don’t know if there’s a connection there, but it certainly presents a particular style, you know?
(I suspect it’s actually a way to get parents invested in their daughter’s application, and so maybe up the yield rate just a touch. But that’s just the cynic in me, really.)
But what if the parent isn’t a good writer? Is that the kids fault?
We got asked to write parent letters for 2 schools for my D17. It’s not common, but there are a few schools out there!
@engineer4life I don’t think these parent letters are traditional letters of recommendation so much as they’re asking for another perspective on the candidate from someone who knows them well. In both cases where we were asked to write them for my D, it was for a relatively small school.
@luckymama64 Think of it as a nice excuse to reflect on how wonderful your kid is!
I could see how many kids could be disadvantaged: children of immigrants who don’t speak (let alone write) English, children of not well-educated parents who can’t write especially well (my parents fall into this… I write most of their letters whenever they have to do one for whatever reason), children of neglectful/abusive parents, etc
I just see this as an advantage to kids from well-off, educated parents. I don’t really see the purpose. And yes, I see that it’s “optional” but if it’s there, I doubt it’s not taken into consideration.
Actually, given the (sometimes explicitly, sometimes implicitly) stated admissions preferences by some of the schools that do this, a letter from parents who aren’t particularly proficient in English could be an advantage for the applicant…
What if you have no parents?
I think what you choose to tell them can be revealing about family values, family personality. And it can be fun. But yes, I suspect it must be challenging for familes not clued in.
Of course, home school parents who are their kids’ program coordinator have been doing this, and walking the line between parent and GC.
We had to do this only for private high school. And I agree with @romanigypsyeyes that this likely favors well educated parents. I think of all the earnest, well-meaning immigrant moms I know who only want the best for their children (as we all do) and who wouldn’t be up to this task. The irony is that the parents I know are well-off professionals who’d likely be full pay, so it’s the school’s loss if their children are rejected.
Being the child of well-educated parents has many benefits. I think colleges realize this and don’t put undue weight on these optional letters.
I have to agree with @dfbdfb.
While writing in a manner most favorable to my children, I would use the opportunity to extol what I viewed as their greatest strengths. I would not be dishonest. Who knows better than the parent?
I thought I wanted to do this when one of my kids’ schools allowed it as an option, but when I actually put pen to paper I couldn’t do it. I’m normally a pretty good writer, but I just felt like I couldn’t strike the right balance. So I didn’t do it. My kid still got in. 
I did this for two colleges, and I LOVED it. It’s fine. Do it. My kid got into both.
@engineer4life , I am sure a close relative would be acceptable.
I would think the only benefit to this is to reveal whether the child is babied at home or if the child will be able to handle living on his/her own in college for a year. Anything written by parents can be perspective based but hidden between the lines a reader can identify if a parent has raised a dependent baby that can’t take care of itself. I think it’s a good opportunity to explain the students diligence and work ethic but more importantly that he/she doesn’t have to be reminded to do his homework etc.
I am the educated, working single mother of 2. I was asked by Smith and frankly didn’t have time, especially during admissions process of senior year. It certainly dropped my sense of Smith as a feminist institution because the request for a letter sets so many hierarchies in motion.
Smith also asked for a statement avowing my single-ness as part of financial aid, another unusual request.
D got in, but when to HYPS.
The funny thing is we aren’t those “braggy” parents–so my letter isn’t all that gushing. I spoke about her determination, caring nature, and curiosity. She was mad at me, b/c I said she might not be the smartest student at the school, but she’ll be one of the mightiest. However, she got a 35 on her ACT, is No.1 in her class, and will be a NMF (not to brag, hahaha), so I said, they know she is smart! I wanted to tell them something more about her nature. Oh well; I hope I didn’t ruin her chances!