Hi CC!
I wanted to ask a question about the recommendation letters needed to apply to many boarding schools. As you probably all know, most schools want recommendations from math and english teachers. However, the problem is, that my math teacher doesn’t know me really well, as he just came to our school and is loved by many students (he is a funny teacher, so students started to love him really quickly), so he can’t notice me. He is the only teacher that thinks I am a silent-learner, whereas most of my teachers who know me really well always talk about how I participate a lot in class. Usually, most of my teachers and I have a close relationship as I find this really important, however, this teacher and I don’t seem to get along pretty well. Do you have any advice about what shall I do? Is it really a problem?
The most important thing is to find teachers who will write stellar letters about you. All things being equal, grades and SSAT, ECs and sports, the letters can be a tie breaker. When my student (back when) called Deerfield to ask for feedback why she was waitlisted, they said her “letters could have been stronger.” She ended up at a rival school, and did well, but it gave us some insight. Don’t pick Math simply because it’s a box they want checked off. Choose wisely, someone who knows you well and who can say meaningful things about how you will contribute to their community.
Hi @StandardizedGirl
First… no getting around math recommendation…
Sorry if this sounds a bit rude but, if you participate a lot in other classes, is math an exception (and is the teacher picking up on it?)? I would say try to participate more, ask question after class… But honestly don’t worry about it… Teachers will give good reviews, unless you are this absolute hellion in class (which i am assuming ur not :-? ) And being a silent learner is not a bad thing, a lot of teachers find those kids to be hardworking and dedicated…Plus if you participate in other classes the other recs (like english) will reflect that… It will show that you have different styles of learning, that you can adapt based on your needs (or something :P)
@Atria Thanks a lot for your informing response!
Math isn’t an exception, but his math lessons are really different. He doesn’t ask students questions, he just asks students who got the question right to raise their hands after he solves that question. So, it is nearly impossible to participate.
However, during other lessons, other teachers ask many questions and discuss topics so I’m always able to participate.
The problem with being a silent learner is that I am not one, and I don’t want schools to be misled by this.
It’s been a while. Just finished with second college admission process. So if Math rec is mandatory, I recommend sitting down with your Math teacher. Provide the teacher ahead of time with some info you want him to consider putting in the letter, and get some info as well, find out what he thinks your greatest assets and drawbacks are as a student. Keep an open mind. If your respond well to their suggestions of how to improve studentship in their class, this can go a long way into a glowing letter.
Current math and current english teachers are usually non-negotiable. If you are doing well, regardless of how talkative you are, don’t worry about it. Your grades and your test scores, in math in particular, will offset any potentially luke-warm review.
And if you are concerned about the relative weakness in math, pick another technical subject (science is the obvious one, although your school may have computers or something) for an additional rec.
Similar to what @preppedparent said, tell the teacher more about you. You can be completely blatant. Tell him that you are applying to BS/prep school, and will need his recommendation (this may also prompt him to pay more attention to you in class and maybe require some more participation.) Give him a list of thing you do outside of school for him to get to know you better.
Also, many times in the interviews, you are asked why you want to go to BS/ why are you considering prep… And they ask you about your current classes… MENTION that you don’t get to participate in class and the format is not the best way for you to learn. (This maybe very important if you are applying to school with Harkness, since basically the whole format is discussion)
Be sure that you very politely say this though…
Don’t be like, “my teacher is horrible, he doesn’t teach…”
Something like, “I feel that his teaching method doesn’t really suite me, and I would love a more discussion based… blah …blah”
Last year our teachers didn’t write recommendations until Jan! You have plenty of time to develope a stronger relationship with your math teacher. I agree you should speak to the teacher. Let them know how much you like math and why you want to go to BS. The other thing on the recommendations are about being prepared for class, what % of the class you’re in, helping classmates, good attitude… A good rec is more than just raising your hand a lot… My DD put together a resume for all of the people writing a rec for her- list grades since 6th, EC’s, awards, interests outside of school. Teachers don’t know everything about you! And please remember to write a thank you note afterwards! ( maybe an initial thank you note attached to the math teachers resume
@Atria Thanks for the interview suggestion! Of course, I will never, ever insult my teacher while talking about it, but I agree that mentioning that will be nice.
@copperboom That’s actually a great idea! But I also do not want to sound too pushy, and I also do not think that he would be able to use that information - I think that teachers who write recs write them mostly based on the relationship w/ the teacher and the grades of that year in our country.
@“Mr.Wendal” Math is not a weakness, but if I get a feeling while talking to the teacher like the recommendation was not enough for me to shine, I may as well get a rec from another technical subject too.
@MAandMEmom I also think that me talking to him would be a good idea; I might also get a hint of what he will write.
THANKS TO EVERYBODY WHO HELPED ME! I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS.
Don’t worry about being pushy. You are learning to advocate for yourself. Go back and read some past cc boards on recommendations- there are plenty of stories where students had to beg teachers to complete them on time. I personally gave a gift to a neighbor who asked to write a personal rec for my kid and still had not completed it by mid January! Was my gift pushy. Maybe. But my lovely neighbor needed to be pushed! People get busy, especially around the holidays. And fwiw I do think teachers write more about the student. On M10 my kids acceptance letters had direct quotes about her by her teachers- talking about her as a person not only a student. She was at a small school though. Each rec is different, and again, only one part of the whole application. Don’t stress too much!
@copperboom Actually, the the thing that I am afraid of the most is that he is not going to be able to write a rec that talks about me as a person - he can only write about my grades, not even participation. He does not even know my name as he has 96 students, and I am not one of those students who have a special relationship with him; I am really uncomfortable.
Hi @StandardizedGirl - I understand your reticence, but I think that this is just one of those times in life where you have to make it work for you. If your teacher doesn’t know you well enough to write a meaningful recommendation, then YOU need to do something about it. This is your responsibility and nobody else’s.
I like @Atria 's idea of setting up a meeting with this teacher, telling him that you’re applying to BS, and that BS ask for (“require”) a recommendation from your current Math teacher. Because you realize that he has such a large class and he may not know you well, you’d like to give him a little more information about yourself (hand him a page with your EC’s, other interests, hopes & dreams etc. whatever will give him more insight). Also ask him what you can do, as a student in his class, to shine. I’d also discuss the whole “silent learner” situation that you mention in your first post.
Try not to be uncomfortable, this is all about advocating for yourself. Put your cards on the table and be honest with him. I’ve found that most teachers love it when you ask for their advice, and take their opinions seriously. This is a skill that you will definitely need in BS - advocating for yourself & trying to change the dynamic between you and a teacher will definitely come in handy!
I think these school are very used to students coming from many different learning environments. The type of rec that they should get from a small private school will be vastly different than a large public school. You should use this to your advantage. At all of my D interviews the AO’s asked her why BS. This experience in math class would be a perfect example for why- large, impersonal classes where the teachers don’t even know you… Be honest with your AO- they usually are taking notes while you are interviewing. Hopefully they will scribble it down- so when your rec comes in it won’t be surprising. Actually, it could back up your concerns. BS like kids who want more from their education. Good luck!
:-? ) And being a silent learner is not a bad thing, a lot of teachers find those kids to be hardworking and dedicated…Plus if you participate in other classes the other recs (like english) will reflect that… It will show that you have different styles of learning, that you can adapt based on your needs (or something :P)