Has anyone else had a problem with a teacher refusing to write a letter of recommendation-- not for reasons related to the child or her performance, but because she didn’t want to do it?
I’m totally unsure how to handle this situation. We requested the letter about a month ago, and the teacher said she’d be happy to do it. But as time went by, she never did. I contacted teacher and so did DD but did not answer. I did discuss this with AOs and they suggested contacting last year’s teacher but I held off thinking this year’s teacher would come through.
Finally DD approached the teacher in “office hours” (we’re in online school) and she said yes, she had it on calendar and would complete it this weekend. But last night DD received a letter stating that she wasn’t going to do it because she was too busy and didn’t feel comfortable. She suggested that DD print out her grades and show them that instead… ! This is a public school teacher who obviously has zero familiarity with the process. I think they’re all really frazzled with online school and getting overwhelmed. We’ve never met her in person.
That’s horrible! I guess I’m pretty lucky because all my teachers filled out the recommendation on the same day I sent them the link. Never thought that teachers would refuse to fill out recommendation forms…
Right now, I think you guys should email the admissions at the schools you’re applying to, and tell them that your recommendations might come abit late. Then, ask the teacher to deny the recommendation request, and send a new link to your teacher from last year. Good luck!
Ugh. Stressful.
It’s not the first time, so don’t worry. This is a tiny bump in the road.
I agree – just ask the other teacher. Be open that you were having someone else do it, but her schedule is just too hectic and she suggested maybe finding another person.
A few tips for your new recommender:
Make it very easy for her to do the recommendation quickly. Have a quick one-pager to explain why you are going to boarding school, highlighting things you are talking about, maybe a list of ECs, or whatever. (Some people would call this a “brag sheet” but I would personally stay away from anything that sounds brag like, but more like “hey let me tell you about me because I don’t expect for you to have all this memorized since you are very busy.” I might even include a couple of examples from that teachers class, just to help jog their memory if they need an example or two.)
Note the recommendation forms are actually quite short (sadly short, IMO). so it really isn’t a crazy thing for someone to turn around quickly. So yes a very nice gesture to be grateful for, but you aren’t asking for the world. It should be doable in a matter of days I would think.
Lastly, I do not think you have to ask the other teacher to cancel the request. I think you just re-send a request to a new person. But not 100% sure.
My son is a junior and he was told any recommendation letters for Summer Program will be delayed or denied. Most of the summer programs are asking for recommnedation letters from Science/Maths teachers. We were told current online education format has increased teachers workload hence they don’t have much time. Hence any time they have is priortized for writing letters for Seniors who are seeking college admissions now. So they won’t be able to meet any summer program dates in Jan, Feb or Mar.
It’s sad but understandble.
That is just really obnoxious, unprofessional behavior. Public school teachers fill out recommendations all the time. I would ask her previous teacher, apologizing profusely.
When ds was first applying to a U.S. private school, my request for a recommendation was initially a straight No. Our Canadian public school teachers had it in their contract that they would not write recommendations for private schools. Ultimately, I had the admission officer and principal set up a phone call and that worked for the private school.
Some of the recommendation forms get very detailed. As a teacher, I would not be comfortable answering many of the questions, like how they get along with other students, if I had only seen the student in an online format.
Wow. I just wanted to comment and say I know what you are feeling. Everything will turn out for the best and one way or another, you’ll have that recommendation. It took me quite some time and multiple emails to get a recommendation too. I hope you and DD sort this out soon. I agree that it is unprofessional to deny a recommendation. It’s pretty rude IMHO. Of course, I’m just a kid, but just wanted to send support and positivity your way.
You and your child do NOT want a letter from this person. Your options are (1) do as already suggested and use a letter from last year’s teacher, or (2) email the letter above to the AO and suggest a different teacher who is more familiar with your child. Regardless of which you choose, you need to make it REALLY easy for the teacher to get this done ASAP.
Agree with +Altras, you may not want the letter from this person as you will not know the content. No recommendation is better than subpar recommendation.
Thanks so much everyone. Problem solved as last year teacher was totally gracious, and already did it and sent it in. And I should make clear that her issue was not with DD at all. Her issue was that she “didn’t want to share her own personal and private information on the internet” the issue was logging in to gateway… because she actually did send one letter to one school-- because it’s a school that wasn’t on the gateway system. I hate to think how lame that letter may be, but I had explained to the schools already that her regular teacher was out. And I think that’s the underlying issue. She was not a regular teacher. DD says she’s an okay teacher and a nice person, but I think this was just a bridge too far. Luckily, we’re all set. Phew.