Recommendation, of sorts...?

Colleges & Universities A-Z Columbia University
1

<p>Hey everyone,
This October I'll be applying to Columbia under the Early Decision plan. I've briefly looked over the application used this past year and, assuming it doesn't dramatically change with this round of admissions, don't see it as incredibly tedious or what have you. However, I do have a few questions.</p>

<p>First, looking at the Financial Aid application, I noticed that if one's parents are divorced/separated, the non-custodial parent must submit a "Non-Custodial Parent's Form". In my case, I don't know where my father is, I don't know whether or not he's living, and I haven't spoken to him in nine years. Might be a little difficult to get him to sign something over to me...any suggestions?</p>

<p>Second, I am in no way trying to appeal to anyone's emotions here; however, I've had a pretty rough childhood. I was born in the Ukraine, emigrated to the States at the age of six with both of my parents, for the time being. Some years later, my father ran away...to this day I don't know where he is and I haven't seen a dime of any sort of child support from the man. My mother and I are the only persons of our family in the States, needless to say, being a single mom in a foreign country with language constraints is difficult; nothing has ever been easy. On to the actual question, my mom's boss is a woman that I've known for probably six years now (I am eighteen currently). She thinks highly of me and supports me in my quest, of sorts, to go to Columbia. Last time I talked to her, she mentioned wanting to write Columbia a letter detailing the troubles of my life, how I've continuously come out on top standing in the face of defeat, and how she feels that I am a suitable candidate for the university.</p>

<p>Her support is wonderful and I thank her all the way; however, I wonder how admissions will react to such a letter. They could either see it as a point to push me through to admittance, or they could see it as me just trying to hoard influential people (she is the president of a nationally known company) into writing letters for me to increase my chances. I'm not sure I want the latter to happen; ergo, I don't know whether or not I should accept her offer.</p>

<p>Any suggestions would be appreciated, I thank you all.</p>

2

<p>First of all, sry to hear about your childhood, I know what you must have gone through, literally! I'm not gonna make any suggestions but I can tell you what I did. I've had (probably) a rougher time than you and I, too, was thinking about telling them about it. Actually one of my teachers wanted to mention it in his rec, but I asked him not to. Here's what I thought: I'm not poor or anything now, so I'm not really disadvantaged now. Therefore, they might think that I'm just trying to score sympathy points which might backfire. I thought it was too risky, so I decided to not mention anything about it. Long story cut short, I got in RD. Make of this story what you want...</p>

3

<p>Well, I still consider myself disadvantaged. We live paycheck-to-paycheck and I work 20 (sometimes more) hours a week during the school year to make up for lost ground because there are things we just can't afford (gasoline, internet, we split the phone bill). I was under the impression that me working to survive and not just for spending money would be a strong point. I just don't know...</p>

4

<p>I really can't make any recommendations on this matter but I can help you to find your own answer to your question. But first of all, she's the Pres of a company and you guys still live like this?
I think deep down inside yourself you know that you want her to send this rec. You feel as though you deserve to get credit for what you had to go through. You feel that it's only fair that you should be in a way compensated for all the hard times that you had to go through. And yes you're right, you should be compensated. But none of us can really predict Ivy admissions, and this whole thing could backfire. There's a certain risk attached to it. It kinda depends on yourself whether you want to go for double or nothing or just the standard procedure.</p>

5

<p>
[quote]
On to the actual question, my mom's boss is a woman that I've known for probably six years now (I am eighteen currently). She thinks highly of me and supports me in my quest, of sorts, to go to Columbia. Last time I talked to her, she mentioned wanting to write Columbia a letter detailing the troubles of my life, how I've continuously come out on top standing in the face of defeat, and how she feels that I am a suitable candidate for the university.</p>

<p>Her support is wonderful and I thank her all the way; however, I wonder how admissions will react to such a letter.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Your essay is the chance for you to write about your troubles and your life story. It will mean MUCH more coming from you than from someone else writing your biography.</p>

6

<p>I'm not sure whether or not you misunderstood something - my mom is not the Pres of any company, her "big boss" is and she wants to write this particular letter. My mom is practically the lowest position the company has to offer...so we do still live like that. I've always been a fan of rolling the dice, might as well, I guess...</p>

7

<p>Columbia2002 -
I was actually going to do that; however, if she does write me this recommendation, I can't control what she puts in it. It's either tell her not to write it and write an essay about it, or tell her to write it and still write an essay about it... =/</p>

8

<p>I'm not sure why you need a letter from her. How well does she know you? What can she say about YOU that you can't say yourself? Does she have a basis to offer an opinion on something about you that's relevant to the admissions process? I really don't see what she could say that will add anything.</p>

9

<p>i would suggest you write about it yourself and respectfully decline the help from your mom's boss. Columbia doesnt need to hear the same story twice. As for the fin aid stuff...there is a little place where you can write of any extenuating circumstances in your family...you can easily mention the thing about your father there as it relates to why you can't hand in that form....my guess is it shouldnt be a problem at all. </p>

<p>Best of luck to u.</p>

10

<p>Unless you worked for your mother's boss, her letter would be worthless. Unfortunately, many students applying to Columbia have had a difficult life. It is up to you to write in your essay why this makes you a good candidate, not just the circumstances. </p>

<p>Also, do not forget to get 2300 on the SATs and a GPA of 4.0 (unweighted).</p>

11

<p>How about this - apply early without the recommendation. If you are not accepted early, get her to send in the reference.</p>

12

<p>I like that idea, Ace.</p>

13

<p>
[quote]
How about this - apply early without the recommendation. If you are not accepted early, get her to send in the reference.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>How about not. If it's important enough that you'd want them to read it for RD, then you'd want them to have it for ED. But it's not.</p>

14

<p>i agree with C02....ace's idea is pretty bad....and why is ace assuming that you would either get accepted or deferred in ED? you could just get rejected then....also ED tends to be a pretty bad idea for someone who is in such grave financial hardship since fin aid package is crucial to attendance.</p>

15

<p>The way I see it, you have a much greater chance of being accepted ED. If you are not accepted early, there is still a chance of being accepted RD, but the probability falls quite dramatically. Then is surely the time to be taking risks like sending in that extra reference, and to basically give them everything you've got - including another letter or something telling them how they are your first choice, updating them on what you've done etc. etc. Clearly the guy wants to send it, I'm just saying things might work out a lot better if he sent it in for RD when he doesn't have so much to lose. I think if written well the reference could be quite effective - and it's not some benevolent uncle or family friend who happens to be a prominent Columbia alumnus or anything, but his mum's <em>employer</em> who has a) taken an interest and b) offered to write the reference!</p>

<p>Oh and fabius_maximus, is it possible that Columbia don't know who this person is? Could she just keep it very low-key, and make clear she is just writing as your mum's employer and someone who has got to know your family situation, rather than the president of whichever company it is? That might be best.</p>

16

<p>And yes I'm assuming he doesn't get rejected outright ED. Don't know how the Financial Aid thing works.</p>

17

<p>
[quote]
The way I see it, you have a much greater chance of being accepted ED. If you are not accepted early, there is still a chance of being accepted RD, but the probability falls quite dramatically. Then is surely the time to be taking risks like sending in that extra reference, and to basically give them everything you've got - including another letter or something telling them how they are your first choice, updating them on what you've done etc. etc. Clearly the guy wants to send it, I'm just saying things might work out a lot better if he sent it in for RD when he doesn't have so much to lose. I think if written well the reference could be quite effective - and it's not some benevolent uncle or family friend who happens to be a prominent Columbia alumnus or anything, but his mum's <em>employer</em> who has a) taken an interest and b) offered to write the reference!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Don't feel like carefully parsing this, but it's conclusory and circular.</p>

18

<p>Shraf -
So when they say they don't at all base their decision on the applicant's need for financial aid they're sugar-coating the truth?</p>

19

<p>Yes, sorry, I misunderstood you. I think if you mention all this stuff in your essays, there's no reason why the Pres should write a letter to Columbia.
Technically, it should be the same finaid treatment for ED and RD kids, but I've heard of some strange stories. I guess if you're below 50.000$ though, they'll probably make sure that you get enough no matter whether you apply ED or RD.</p>

20

<p>admissions decisions are need blind but when you do get ur fin aid packet it might not be satisfactory.</p>