Recommendation problem - loss for what to do

I had 3 members at my undergraduate institution I intended to ask recommendations from. 2 were research supervisors and 1 was another supervisor for a small design project.

I have been out of school for close to 2 years now. A few months ago I asked one of my research supervisors for a reference letter. He said he would write one for me. Then a few weeks later I emailed him detailing my plan and he responded by saying it would be better to ask colleagues from my workplace for a letter instead. I asked him again today if he was willing and he said that because I have been out of school for a while now, he doesn’t believe he can write a strong letter for me. He was obviously hesitant and told me to consider asking my current work colleagues instead.

He was my supervisor for my senior research project. He was happy with my achievement when he supervised me. I received a top grade for that project and also prize money for it. I even wrote about my research experience in my SoP and also put it in my CV.

I don’t know what to do now folks. I’m not in a research-oriented position position at my company. I’m also an international applicant, so my supervisor may not have much experience writing recommendations. I can try to email him detailing my situation one more time, but I don’t know how that will work out. I don’t know what to do. If he isn’t willing to write one for me, should I just remove what I have written in my SoP and CV for that project?

Is it unusual for students to ask for recommendations from their research supervisors after 2 years out of school? I just want to kill myself. Letters from colleagues in non-research related professions aren’t worth as much as a research supervisor’s opinion. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to let this opportunity go. I hate my life. What should I do folks?

First off, I think you should calm down, you are using very dangerous language in your post. Regardig your course of action, I think your best bet would be to get a master’s to compensate for the time you’ve been out of school, or land a job as a research technician. This will allow you to rebuild your network. Though you might have had good connections with your research supervisors, it seems that you did not keep in touch with them over the course of two years enough for them to feel comfortable enough to write you a GOOD letter–it’s normal not to do so, so don’t beat yourself up over it. How long were your research experiences? What schools were you planning to apply to? All these are important questions you should consider before going forward since they may be able to reflect your preparedness for this cycle.

Leave the information in the SoP and the CV.

Have a last chat (in person would be even better, but at least on the phone) with the professor. Remind him about the things that you have written here. If he really is so busy and occupied that he can’t do this, ask him for suggestions of other professors of yours (be prepared with a list when you speak with him). If you aren’t currently doing research and you are applying to a research grad program, you are going to have to come up with at least one old professor who can write that letter.

I also recommend having a phone conversation with him - not to badger or beg about the letter but to ask his advice about where to apply. Tell him what your plans are and ask for his advice. It is possible that he feels you are shooting too high and he feels like he can’t legitimately recommend you for particular schools especially if you haven’t been in a research environment for a while.

I have a different opinion - I wouldn’t recommend a phone conversation with him. You’ve asked him twice already, and he’s turned you down twice. For whatever reason, he doesn’t feel capable of writing a strong recommendation for you. You don’t want or need a recommendation letter from a professor who has turned you down and doesn’t want to write for you - it won’t be strong, and it can tank your application.

No, it’s not weird to ask professors for recommendations 2 years after the fact - that’s very normal. It’s actually more weird that this professor is saying he can’t write for you because he can’t remember you. It’s only been two years and you did well on your project; moreover, he’s giving you bad advice by telling you to ask your work colleagues for references for an academic position (any professor would know that work colleagues at a non-research position are not appropriate references). I think he’s using that to cover up for another reason (maybe like Cheddar says, he thinks you are aiming too high).

But that’s all moot at this point; I think you should move on and find another professor to write from you. If you don’t have anyone else who has supervised your research, you could always find a professor you took one or two classes with - classes in which you did really well. The more classes the better, but students have gotten letters from professors they only took one class with if the professor really admired them or appreciated their work.

But no, you don’t have to remove what you wrote in your statement and CV about the project. Just because he won’t write a letter doesn’t mean the project doesn’t exist anymore.

He doesn’t know what schools I am thinking of applying to. It is true that the PhD programs I am eyeing are all ambitious. However I am also applying for some MS programs in case I don’t get into any PhD programs for this cycle, some “moderate” and some “safe”. At least then I’ll actually be able to go somewhere and work on improving my chances by doing well in a MS program.

I did 2 semesters’ worth of research for him. I did a summer’s worth of research for my other research supervisor. Thankfully my other two referees said yes. So now I need one more referee.

I believe I have some options available. For academic referees, two professors who come in mind are:

  1. My 'secondary' supervisor for my senior research project. Basically for my senior project I had two supervisors, one main one and one secondary one. I only met my 'secondary' supervisor only a few times but that supervisor was responsible for grading some parts of my work.
  2. A professor I had taken several courses with. I've interacted with him on a few occasions and I believe he remembers me quite well. But other than being in his classes, there probably isn't much for him to say.

Who should I choose to ask? My last resort is to ask for a letter from a work colleague.

Also if I leave my project in my CV and SoP, wouldn’t admissions committees question why that supervisor isn’t vouching for me? From the way I see it they could interpret it in two ways. One being that they think the supervisor doesn’t think I am capable enough. The other being that I have completely fabricated my past work, as I have no testimonial evidence to support my work.

There’s also the issue of funding for MS programs (I don’t believe I can fully fund even a year). I am going to apply for thesis based MS programs. I heard that it’s rare to obtain funding for MS. To what extent is this true? Is there a higher chance of funding for a thesis based MS, and for international students? I have asked various departments but they are quite reticent about funding prospects for MS students. One school I looked at that said they provided funding for MS on their website was UIUC, but that is still quite an ambitious school. I am an Engineering major. Did anyone apply for thesis based MS programs as an international student and received funding upon admission? If so where did you apply?

@royalrange, I had two long term research experiences that I had on my SOP and CV and did not get a rec letter from those PIs, so just because you don’t have a letter doesn’t invalidate your work. I would ask for the letter from the secondary mentor. I would do an extensive search for MS programs that have funding through Teaching assistantships, since that’ll be the main source of income. What schools are you applying to? PhD programs tend to be very competitive, and 2 semesters and a summer doesn’t seem like a lot of experience. Why are you only applying to top schools?