Having the opportunity to read the experiences of others through this process has been so helpful for our family. Now that all of the visits are complete for my daughter this admission season, I thought I would share some of my thoughts after visiting quite a few schools over the last few months.
A little about her and our family and what led us to choose the list of schools we visited: We are from California and our older son went through this process in a more limited way last year. He wasn’t interested in looking at schools outside of CA and his academic/extracurricular profile was solid but not quite as strong as his sister’s is. That led us to feeling like we were starting from scratch this year, since our daughter was eager to explore schools on the East Coast in addition to adding a CA school (Cate) that we didn’t visit with our son. While my husband and I prefer the idea of a small school, my daughter felt drawn to some of the bigger ones, which explains the wide variation in school size on our visit list. We started from a very long list of options to pare it down based on a combination of impressions from reading this site, interactions with representatives at admissions fairs in our area, and overall academic reputation. Though I tried to persuade her to consider some of the all-girls options, my daughter flatly refused to visit any school that isn’t co-ed. My list below is in alphabetical order. We found that we liked virtually all of the schools in their own way - and are trying to keep that open mindset going into March 10. She will be applying to all but one of the list below.
Cate School: Our family really liked the extended visit format, which included interviewing student, then parents, campus tour, chapel featuring a student speaker (bonus points for inviting the whole family to this), class visit (student only), then an invitation for our family to stay on campus for lunch, which we did. Any time we were in the admissions reception area, there were many current students there to answer any questions we had. On the tour we learned that all freshman girls have doubles, as do some sophomore girls. The rest of the students have singles. Outdoor space (balcony or patio) for each dorm room is a plus, and a wonderful way to take advantage of the beautiful climate. Overall, the facilities were adequate but certainly not as impressive as we have seen at other schools. My husband and I had split opinions on this: he thought there weren’t investing enough in the facilities (e.g. tired science classrooms), while I was appreciative of the fact that everything was just fine but not over the top (not ostentatious). We were disappointed that even though my daughter had indicated a special interest in visual art on her form, we were not shown any art-related facilities on the tour and our guide didn’t seem very knowledgeable in this area. My daughter loved the fact that there is no dress code. Students seemed very happy, and reported a very reasonable workload. There are homework limits for each class, and the block schedule helps with overall workload management. Intentional focus on collaborative, rather than competitive, atmosphere.
Choate Rosemary Hall: Choate was the first large-ish school we visited, and my initial impression walking up to admissions was that it felt more like a college than a high school. However, our tour guide turned everything around for me. She was a great match for my daughter’s interests (I’d like to think that was intentional), opting to skip the athletics facility entirely for an in-depth tour of the arts facilities. She was able to put our mind at ease about the small fish, big pond types of concerns, clearly loving the place and environment and articulating the warmth and support she felt from her community there. There was talk from her and the AO about intentionality about “just right” size at Choate: big enough to offer hundreds of classes and world class facilities yet small enough to offer a sense of community. We liked that our daughter would be the beneficiary of the new facility that is opening before next school year able to seat the entire student body in one space. My daughter loved the vibe at Choate - it resonated with my Cali girl. The AO spoke about the fact that they have been deliberately building the CA population there to be a critical mass. Of particular interest to my daughter was the option to do an arts concentration. My husband and I would prefer that there was at least one seated meal per week (we like the idea of requiring teenagers to make polite conversation at a meal every now and then), but this was not a problem at all for my daughter.
Deerfield Academy: Deerfield was absolutely lovely, but in hindsight I should have trusted my initial instinct that this school appealed to me much more than my daughter. She resonates most with progressive, friendly, and casual, which aren’t typically words used to describe Deerfield. Our tour guide was excellent at Deerfield, clearly loving her experience. I did note on the tour that the students and faculty we passed all had their heads down hurrying from one place to another - no smiles or hellos to us or each other, from what we we observed. In their defense, it was pouring down rain the day we were there. Our AO, when asked about collaborative vs competitive, answered “competitive”. All signs indicated that this was not a match for our daughter, though clearly it can be and is a very good match for different kids. [If it is not obvious already, this is the school that my daughter decided not to apply to.]
Episcopal High School: Similar to Cate, we appreciated the extended visit opportunity at Episcopal. In addition to the tour/interview, my daughter had the chance to attend a class and join her student host for lunch. The Washington D.C. program at Episcopal is very appealing to my daughter and to us, as is the proximity to the kinds of experiences a city can offer. Proximity to a major airport is appealing to us as parents. Even though Episcopal has maintained traditions including seated meals and chapel services (neutral for my daughter and a plus for us as parents), we found the overall feel to be warm, welcoming and comfortable. We came away with the feeling that there was plenty of adult support for the students and that the students were happy. Though my daughter would prefer no dress code, she felt like the dress code at Episcopal was relaxed enough that it wouldn’t be a negative for her. We all liked that it is 100% boarding. Some concern about lack of diversity at Episcopal relative to many other places we visited.
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Since we prioritize family dinners at home, we like the idea of our daughter having the equivalent of that experience every now and then (or more often) at school. I also agree that it seems like a great way to have your child more known by the faculty outside of the academic setting. This isn’t a showstopper for us, though.