<p>There's a program on PBS on Wednesday, Jan 5, that may be of interest to all who posted here. It's called "Do You Speak American?" Here's the link to the PBS site's review. <a href="http://www.pbs.org/previews/speak_american/%5B/url%5D">http://www.pbs.org/previews/speak_american/</a></p>
<p>Late... but from Northern VA (not mine):</p>
<ol>
<li>Speed limits are just suggestions </li>
<li>You take a major highway to school (95, 66,28, etc) </li>
<li>You constantly complain about there being nothing to do, even though you are right next to DC </li>
<li>You have at least 2 friends who have no idea what their parents do because its "top secret" government work </li>
<li>50% of your senior class plans on going either to Mason, JMU, Tech or UVA </li>
<li> When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain </li>
<li>You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern" in front of it </li>
<li>When you and your friends get bored you all whip out your cell phones and start playing with them </li>
<li>Its not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you. </li>
<li>A yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. </li>
<li>A red light means 2 more can. </li>
<li>It takes you 30 minutes to drive 10 miles </li>
<li>Your local news is national news </li>
<li>If you hear the word "sniper" one more time you're going to slap someone </li>
<li>You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for </li>
<li>Even if your high school is only a year old, its already overcrowded </li>
<li>You have over 500 students in your graduating class </li>
<li>Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner" </li>
<li>You are friends with people from at least 2 other high schools </li>
<li>You know at least 2 people who drive a mercedes, BMW, Lexus, etc. </li>
<li>The cars in the student parking lot are woth 3x those in the teacher parking lot. </li>
<li>You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington DC </li>
<li>You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak english </li>
<li>You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds </li>
<li>There are at least 3 malls within 20 minutes of your house </li>
<li>There are at least 6 Starbucks within 20 minutes of your house </li>
<li>You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag </li>
<li>Homework/Extra credit for a class has been to visit a museum in DC </li>
<li>When traveling, you have your choice of 3 airports </li>
<li>You don't actually like the Redskins/Wizards (except when Jordan was playing) </li>
<li>An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school </li>
<li>All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience </li>
<li>Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it </li>
<li>A rich white kid driving a BMW while blasting rap music is a common occurance </li>
<li>You call things "ghetto" even though in most of the rest of the country it'd be high class </li>
<li>You or most of your friends have a 3 car garage </li>
<li>You don't actually keep your cars in it. </li>
<li>When you were driving on the beltway at 2:13am on a Tuesday there was still traffic </li>
<li>Crown Victoria = undercover cop </li>
<li>A slow driver is someone who isn't going at least 10mph over the speed limit </li>
<li>You understand the meaning of "If you don't get it, you don't get it" </li>
<li>Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro </li>
<li>You've taken a wrong turn somewhere late at night and ended up in a bad part of DC(ex. anacostia) </li>
<li>Most of Loudoun County is the "middle of nowhere" </li>
<li>They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new houses in its place </li>
<li>The word Hfstival actually means something to you </li>
<li>Someone has honked at you because you didn't peal out the second the light turned green. </li>
<li>You've honked at someone because they didn't peal out the second the light turned green. </li>
<li>Rush hour lasts all day </li>
<li>For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa </li>
<li>Helicopters and airplanes flying above your neighborhood is a normal occurance. </li>
<li>9:30 isnt just a time, its a place. </li>
<li>If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names. </li>
<li>You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor </li>
<li>You live 5 minutes from at least 2 high schools, but you go to one thats 30 minutes away. </li>
<li>You know at least 3 alternate routes to avoid sitting at a stop light. </li>
<li>You can't pull up to a 7-11 without seeing at least one cop, and usually there's another cop sitting not too far away. </li>
<li>You refer to distances in minutes, not miles. </li>
<li>When you put on your turn signal to change lanes, the people next to you speed up. </li>
<li>Talking on metro in the morning is prohibited</li>
<li>You know where the Pentagon is (not DC)</li>
<li>You know the school in "Remember the Titans" actually exists</li>
<li>People from outside the area don't understand your sarcasm</li>
<li>You live in Chevy Chase, it's not a person.</li>
</ol>
<p>You know you are from Westchester when..
1. You go to a Dave Matthews Band concert and end up running into people you know from your school.
2. Half the people in your school mysteriously develop inner-Queens accents during 7th and 8th grade.
3. Starbucks is a regular stop for you.
4. You say Abercrombie & Fitch makes you want to puke, yet you sport at least one outfit from the store each week
5. NYU is your top choice for college.
6. Below 1400 is a "so-so" SAT score
7. Even though your best friend lives a stone's throw away, you have most of your conversations with him/her on AOL or AIM.
8. You know you have to act tough when going to The Galleria, or else you might get shot.
9. You know you have to act sophisticated when you go to The Westchester, or else you'll get kicked out.
10. Your summer vacation is most likely one of the following: LBI, Cape May, Wildwood, Seaside Heights, or, more simply "The Jersey Shore."
11. You know someone who knows the girl who starred in "The Blair Witch Project."
12. Your dad works in an office and wears a suit and tie to work every day.
13. Your mom either works part-time or volunteers, but whatever she does, it's enough to hold a 24-hour a day guilt-trip over you.
14. If you don't drive, the Metro North train is your best friend, assuming, of course, you're able to avoid the ticket-collector.
15. A trip into NYC for a day is your idea of "getting away from it all."
16. It ****es you off that your friends from the Bronx call this area "upstate New York."
17. You've met Vanessa Williams at least once.
18. You think anyone who lives south of New Jersey is a hick.
19. Everyone winds up spending Spring Break in the Hamptons.
20. The students in your school drive nicer cars than the teachers.
21. Your sixteenth birthday present: Jeep, or your mom's old BMW
22. Your mother went to a great college, and now does nothing
23. You say that you are "just outside the city" regardless of where you live
24. Unlike every other area in the New York Metro area, you believe that people from Westchester, "really don't have accents."
25. Somebody had to teach you to do your laundry when you went away to college
26. You consider anything North of White Plains, "Upstate"
27. Your family belongs to a health club, a golf club, and/or a beach club
28. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Westchester</p>
<p>SPRI2200: You need to read the Westchester Co. one's written for the adults and written by a mom!!! Top of page 9 this thread!! LOL!</p>
<p>BTW: NYU was not the FIRST choice in college here...Harvard or Penn were... and Carnegie Mellon was a safety.</p>
<p>You know you're from Colorado (and just returned from a trip East) when:
1. You go back East and can't believe how fat the world has become.
2. You go back East and can't believe how many people still smoke.
3. You go back East and can't believe that restaurants have smoking sections,
4. You go back East and can't believe how COLD it is, even though the actual temperature is higher than back in Colorado
5. You go back East and can't believe how thick the air is; how do people breathe that much oxygen without getting dizzy?
6. You go back East and can't believe the speed limit is under 75 on the highways ("But officer, I'm from Colorado...").
7. You go back East and can't believe that people find it funny when you ask how far something is and expect an answer in hours (vs. miles).
8. You go back East and can't believe you have to PAY to use the roads and cross the bridges.
9. You go back East and can't believe that "business casual" would qualify as formal attire in Colorado.
10. You go back East and can't believe how many people do NOT own a 4WD vehicle.
11. You go back East and can't believe how how many people DO own a 4WD vehicle.
12. You go back East and can't wait to get back to Colorado!
13. You go back East and can't believe your son thinks that Eastern girls are cuter than the ones in Colorado and WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL BACK EAST!</p>
<p>spn2200, Westchester is upstate</p>
<p>and there is no such thing as an inner-Queens accent, take it from someone who lives in the middle of Queens, there are more accents to be found in this boro than anywhere in the world</p>
<p>Hey..I didnt make this up, someone sent it to me in an email, so stop badgering me</p>
<p>You know you're a New Yorker when: </p>
<h1>You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.</h1>
<h1>You consider Westchester "Upstate".</h1>
<h1>The rest area across the river is pronounced "Joyzie"</h1>
<h1>You think Central Park is "nature."</h1>
<h1>You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."</h1>
<h1>You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.</h1>
<h1>You scoff at the Bridge and Tunnel crowd even though you were raised in a Midwest farm town with a population of 57.</h1>
<h1>You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.</h1>
<h1>Going to New Jersey is considered a "road trip."</h1>
<h1>You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.</h1>
<h1>You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "Excuse me".</h1>
<h1>The most frequently used part of your car (if you own one) is your horn.</h1>
<h1>You think Central Park is "natural".</h1>
<h1>You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.</h1>
<h1>You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.</h1>
<h1>You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.</h1>
<h1>You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence in years and when you did, it terrified you.</h1>
<h1>You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.</h1>
<h1>America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.</h1>
<h1>You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.</h1>
<h1>You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.</h1>
<h1>You haven't turned on a stove since helping mom last Thanksgiving with the turkey.</h1>
<h1>You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.</h1>
<h1>You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.</h1>
<h1>You don't hear sirens anymore.</h1>
<h1>You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.</h1>
<h1>Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian. (this is so true, it's scary)</h1>
<h1>You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means the borough of Manhattan</h1>
<h1>You hate American tourists more than people in Europe do</h1>
<h1>You never EVER do anything to look like a tourist</h1>
<h1>"Get the tourist lost" is your favorite game</h1>
<h1>You know the 4,5 is express and the 6 is local</h1>
<h1>It drives you nuts to hear the 4,5,6 called the "green line"</h1>
<h1>"The Island" is Long Island, Staten Island is where you put the trash</h1>
<h1>You know at least three places the mafia dumps the bodies</h1>
<p>It's scary how true these are</p>
<p>More from MN (forwarded):</p>
<br>
<p>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through </p>
<p>18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will </p>
<p>swim by, you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights </p>
<p>each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the </p>
<p>nation, you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", </p>
<p>you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, </p>
<p>you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work </p>
<p>there, you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of </p>
<p>his forehead, you might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might </p>
<p>live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might </p>
<p>live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you </p>
<p>might live in Minnesota. </p>
<p>If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in </p>
<p>Minnesota. </p>
<p>"Vacation" means going up north past Brainerd for the weekend </p>
<p>; </p>
<p>You measure distance in hours. </p>
<p>You know several people who have hit deer more than once </p>
<p>You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back </p>
<p>again. </p>
<p>You can drive 65 mph through two feet of snow during a raging </p>
<p>blizzard, without flinching. </p>
<p>You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. </p>
<p>You install security lights on your house and garage and </p>
<p>leave both unlocked. </p>
<p>You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how </p>
<p>to use them. </p>
<p>There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Mills Fleet </p>
<p>Farm at any given time. </p>
<p>You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. </p>
<p>Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled </p>
<p>with snow. </p>
<p>You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and </p>
<p>road construction. </p>
<p>You can identify a southern or eastern accent. </p>
<p>You consider Minneapolis exotic. </p>
<p>Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to </p>
<p>your blue spruce. </p>
<p>'Down South' to you means Iowa. </p>
<p>A brat is something you eat. </p>
<p>You go out to fish fry every Friday. </p>
<p>You find 0 degrees " a little chilly."</p>
<br>
<p>oh and a final note about NYC:</p>
<p>only tourists pay more than $2 for a slice of pizza</p>
<p>SBmom's nomination of this thread for the Cowards brought it to my attention and, since I've lived a lot of places, I just had to add a smattering of "you know you're froms":</p>
<p>You know you're from _______________ when:</p>
<p>Maryland (DC suburbs) when:
(1)At recess, when playing Civil War, half the boys in your 5th grade class want to be Yanks and half want to be Rebs, but when recess is over, nobody can remember who was who
(2) you don't think any of the following are worth eating unless it is summer in Maryland: corn on the cob, tomatoes, fried chicken</p>
<p>Northen California/Bay area when:
you don't need a "rain date" for any outdoor function scheduled between May and October</p>
<p>Manhattan when:
you don't find it odd when you, as a busy executive, are standing on the SW corner at 6:30 am waiting for a cab to the office, and on the NW corner are 2 hookers seeing if they can hook one last trick before turning in.</p>