Based on Are we sending too many unprepared/underprepared students to college? - #351 by Sweetgum and related postings…
Do you have any regrets about your college choices (or not going to college if you did not)?
Would you have chosen differently if you could do it over again? (e.g. different college, different major, different level of emphasis on academics or other activities, not gone to college if you did, gone to college if you did not, etc.)
I think it was the right choice at the time for me being a first generation college student and figuring it out on my own. Seeing all the options available to my kids and helping them choose their best fit was a fun experience for me and I feel like they make great decisions for a good fit. Saying that, my college was not a good fit for either of my kids but I think it is a good fit for some. I have a lot more life experience now that I didn’t when I was a senior in hs. With no one to really guide me at the time, I still feel it was a good choice at the time.
I didn’t take going to college seriously at all. I’ve mentioned many times that I attended CC and transferred. I dithered a lot (see below) and it took me six years to get my degree. My folks were not involved in my education, except paying for it. My dad suggested I attend his alma mater and I immediately responded with:
Taking my time with college allowed me to work, save money and travel extensively, so no regrets about that. I do regret skipping a lot of classes to go to the beach, dropping a lot of classes, and getting put on academic probation at CC. Having said that, if I hadn’t been put on academic probation, I might not have ever graduated. It gave me a needed kick up the backside.
My kids have had great experiences at their residential colleges and it was the best choice for them. But overall, no real regrets for me.
I loved my undergrad experience. My only regret was not finishing grad school.
Sounds like skipping class to go to the beach ultimately paid off. A win-win.
I’d have done far more seeking out speakers and such if I had a do-over. I’d have skipped class less too.
I enjoyed my time though, and wouldn’t have changed schools or anything else. It was a fun period of life and taught me a lot about many different things, academics included.
I would have gone abroad for a semester.
At the time, finishing with a double major seemed more important.
It wasn’t.
I wish now that I had gone to grad school and also that I had gone abroad, but I wasn’t ready to go abroad when I was in college, so that’s not really a regret. I could go to grad school now, but not really financially smart at this point.
No regrets with my school. My major was ok. But I regret not exploring more. All I did was go to class and party. I never explored anything else around the area. I never even went tubing on the river! Though when I went back as an adult, I cracked my tailbone, so maybe it was good that I didn’t do that.
Studying abroad would have been awesome! I seriously don’t remember it even being an option. I just took the classes spelled out for my major and that was it. I didn’t look any further
So that’s what I tried to stress for my kids. Get out and find something new. You don’t have to stick with it. Just see what’s out there. And they have. Older S actually was on a rock climbing team one year lol. And younger S joined the raquetball club. Or maybe it’s handball. I’m not sure, but he won something in a tournament, lol. And both have done lots of hiking and other stuff that they’ve always liked. I’m glad.
Like @Lindagaf, I didn’t take it seriously enough, early enough. I got by on raw horsepower. I finally learned how to study and manage my time, but I had some weaknesses in my foundation, especially chemistry. Fortunately, I don’t need to do any heavy lifting in chemistry, math or physics, but I wish I knew it better just for the sake of the knowledge. I was able to skate by well enough, because I went to a school with giant lectures.
I wouldn’t personally have changed anything, because I’m happy with where I landed. I was able to impart that hard learned wisdom into my son. He studied for the sake of knowledge itself, but as a result of deep command, got great grades. He also chose a school where the classes were smaller.
Great thread.
Would have gone to a somewhat larger, more diverse, and hopefully less expensive (10 years paying off student loans) school which was not just like my high school in population. I also would not have been so so shy. In the end it was ok, but I did much better with grad school.
Non, je ne regrette rien.
No more seriously, I have many regrets, more than most people, I suspect. I made some unwise choices in college and even more immediately post-graduation. But I always remember that every single good and every single stupid choice that I made as a young adult led me to a life that I find very satisfying, a job that I find fulfilling and the children that I adore. So to quote my teens “sorry/not sorry.” I regret nothing.
Relating back to a topic much chewed over here, perhaps it is one of the reasons that I don’t dismiss a college degree (or for that matter a degree from a selective university). I think that for me, the credentials were actually protective and made for a softer landing for some of my more ill-considered (and by ill-considered, I mean STUPID) decisions in my early twenties. I think it would have been a much harder landing and bumpier road if I had not be cushioned by the academic credentials. Some young people never make unfortunate choices (I imagine) so hurrah for them. Others may be more like me and make a series of poor choices. And some of those were fortunate to be cushioned by family wealth (I was not) or I guess they recover through their own grit (not sure that was me either). Nevertheless, think having demonstrated the ability to earn a degree can really help others (assuming they were successful in college) because even if they make mistakes in their young adulthood, they are less likely to have to begin again in their late twenties or early thirties. So I consider myself fortunate to have earned mine from the school that I attended despite the mis-steps post-graduation.
I don’t have any regrets. I loved the college I went to. Still love it. It was just the right distance away from home where my parents wouldn’t be able to just pop in at the drop of a hat, but close enough that I could go home for a weekend if I wanted to.
Loved my major. Was invited to participate in a couple of professors’ research projects. I did not end up in a job which directly involved my major…changed my mind about that after graduation, took a couple of years to figure out what I wanted to do. I’m in a totally different field now, but, ironically, I use that training & coursework back from college all the time.
I did not do a semester or year abroad. I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t regret it at all. Ended up meeting my husband during that time frame and we got married 2 weeks after my graduation. One of the best things I ever did was not go to the study abroad program.
I regret everything. The college I chose, my majors, putting too much time into parties and people, when that just caused drama and a loss of focus at school. I left my first school, which I felt didn’t fit me at all, for a state commuter school, which I quite liked, but I never had a clear plan and just ended up in a line of work I didn’t expect to. And then after 7 years I left that completely.
I don’t have regrets about studying abroad, because I just moved, and I guess I found things to study while I was abroad, but nothing in the shape of a career. I wish I could could go back to 14 and start over, knowing what I know now.
I’m fine with my choices. I probably wasn’t fully prepared, starting after just turning 17 and a bit caught up in fraternity parties Freshman year, but I came around by Junior year.
Company-paid part-time grad school at a top 20 school was a no-brainer.
I would do it the same, even though it sounds a little crazy now that I’m a parent of young 20s. Loved my first school, got to take organ lessons and it was close enough for future DH to visit on weekends. But two years was sufficient and I got married after sophomore year, moved near home and finished (on time) at night school. I got the going away experience but then saved a bunch of money on the second half.
My parents put too much pressure on me and I burned out end of HS. I was a National Merit scholar and I decided not to go to college last-minute (I was already enrolled). I was DONE with tying my worth to my performance.
I worked full-time, volunteered a ton, got married young, and paid my own way through college at a large flagship 6 years later, while working in a research lab. I kicked butt and graduated in 3 years. I do not regret that, but I wish the circumstances with my family would have been different so I could take advantage of my NMF scholarships. I’m still paying my (and spouse’s) loans.
One thing I do regret is getting a PhD instead of an MD. I had no interest in an MD because I knew I didn’t want to primarily see (conscious) patients, and I wanted to do research. I love my job, but I could do the same job with an MD – except I’d have a much higher salary and better job security. I also would probably have enjoyed a clinical job in pathology, radiology, electrophysiology, or surgery. That’s what I get for going to school with a zillion premeds (yuck) and minimal advising. Now, I advise students deciding between an MD and a PhD the way I wish someone would have advised undergrad me.
Dropping out of college (CC) was one of my biggest regrets in life. I was 17, immature and didn’t have any focus. I had the grades to go almost anywhere, but lacked the maturity to make a good choice.
Having said that, I started a good job at age 20, just retired at age 52, and had a very fulfilling career and am now enjoying a generous pension.
So all is well that ends well I suppose
I would have gone to a different college, a big university instead of a LAC. I would have majored in finance or computer science. I probably would have still ended up in the same career, however. I absolutely do not regret going to college. It lifted my family from poverty to never worrying about money. So while I would have made different choices, I have no regrets at all.
Looking back, I’d have chosen a different major and college. My major (broadcast and history dual) didn’t prepare me for much although I’ve gotten an MBA and have done well - so maybe it did.
Loved my undergrad but my dad spent $15k a year (full pay) at Syracuse. ASU was #2 and a lot cheaper. But even someone there said,if you got into Syracuse, go there. But knowing what money means today, I made the wrong decision.
For grad school I chose ASU because they paid me to go vs Indiana and Texas. Was it right ? I don’t know. Many who do what I do have MBAs, BAs and one manager a GED. So one never knows.
But I guess if you can pay the bills, put your kids through college and one day retire, why regret ??
Oh. Edit. Just read next message from @Lindagaf I studied abroad at Syracuse London Center. Was fine but I went to school with and lived with Americans, mainly Syracuse students. . If you study abroad, go to a foreign school and integrate.