Regretting Committing to Princeton? PLEASE HELP

<p>So up till the very last minute last night, I was deciding between Princeton and Yale. I am going to be a math major, and ultimately I decided on Princeton because of its math department. </p>

<p>HOWEVER
I am slightly socially awkward, nerdy, and introverted, and I am afraid that I will not fit into the culture at Princeton very well. I've read that it's a little more snobbish and cliquish than Yale, and the interactions on the Street are very homogeneous and contain a high amount of people who are "social climbers".</p>

<p>I am now starting to regret my decision and I feel like I should have gone to Yale where I perhaps might fit in better socially.</p>

<p>Is there anyway to call Yale up and ask if I can still commit? And can I call Princeton and tell them I don't want to go anymore?</p>

<p>And is it worth it?</p>

<p>Yes, you can call Yale Undergraduate Admissions to discuss this matter. Same for Princeton. You will be part of Princeton’s “summer melt” statistics. It happens all the time. If you need help, ask your parents to make the call for you.</p>

<p>If I were you, I wouldn’t do it. I would stay with Princeton! Go to Princeton and you will learn something different that what you have until now.</p>

<p>You’re just experiencing “wedding dress syndrome”. Stop over-thinking it and go enjoy the last weeks of Senior year.</p>

<p>^^ I have never heard it called that; I would have called it “buyers remorse.” </p>

<p>@atomicproperty: Take a deep breath and consider the reasons you choose Princeton in the first place. After really giving it some thought, if you still feel that Yale would be a better choice, then call Yale and see if they will take you back. It’s not unheard for this to happen. To calm your nerves, if possible, go back and re-visit Princeton this weekend. Or, do the same with Yale. You can really find a home at either school because their similarities outweigh their differences.</p>

<p>^^I just heard it myself the other day. Bride finds the dream dress…puts down the deposit, and wakes up in a cold sweat the next day just knowing it’s the wrong one. lol</p>

<p>You know what it is in our family? We just haven’t figured out how to shut off the “anxiety” switch. From January of his junior year it feels like we’ve all been hard wired for stress…last year it was the testing, and making time for the college visits, the interviews, keeping the all-important junior year grades up. Summer it was more college travel and getting to sports camps, and back and forth with coaches. This year is was the last of the testing and the applications and waiting around for decisions and financial aid struggles. And now that it’s all done…and it’s almost like we’re lost without something to worry about!</p>

<p>I’m surprised no one is actually addressing the fact that you really shouldn’t worry about those things. Or at least, it’s not going to be different at Yale (and it’s not going to be bad in either case). </p>

<p>Snobby people exist (everywhere) but the “culture” (if you will) is anything but snobby. I was surprised when I first got here because I realized that, without ever consciously thinking it, I had been assuming people would act that way but in fact no one was it all. </p>

<p>And whenever I hear of social climbing it’s always basically as a parody - sort of how like for Lawn Parties the goal is to dress up as preppy as possible. Not because people actually enjoy doing that but because it’s more or less one giant parody of the stereotype. </p>

<p>If you want to do math then coming to Princeton is the right decision.</p>

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<p>Atomic:</p>

<p>Cantiger addressed your concern in his earlier post. See: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/princeton-university/1494050-introverts-vs-extroverts.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/princeton-university/1494050-introverts-vs-extroverts.html&lt;/a&gt; </p>

<p>You will be able to find a group of friends on campus. Princeton social life does not have only one dimension. About one-third of students remain independent of the clubs, one-third join a club that opens their membership to every student, and one-third join a selective club. The new president of the university, Christopher Eisgruber Â’83 was independent his senior year.</p>

<p>If you attended Princeton Preview call your host and ask if they know a math major you can talk to. If you did not attend Preview you missed an opportunity to see the real Princeton. </p>

<p>It is difficult for high school students to learn the comradeship and fellowship club mates develop. Many socially awkward students find a happy home both in a club and through independence. The student body and most clubs are very diverse. A few clubs have memberships that while they are ethically diverse tend towards students with similar ECs such as athletics or interest in the theater.</p>

<p>When I was in high school I did not like the Yale “secret societies”. Membership then was based on who your parents were and their social standing. I understand that the “secret societies” have become more egalitarian but they remain an important part of the Yale undergraduate experience and many Yale students want to be “tapped”. If you do not understand the role of the Yale “secret societies” then I suggest that you do not have a sufficient understanding of Yale social life to compare to Princeton’s social life. None of my friends at Princeton were social climbers. I am sure they exist at Princeton and every other university.</p>

<p>Princeton is perhaps playing a little catchup to Yale in the arts. Yale on the other hand has a way to go to match Princeton in the STEM fields. While I thought that the late Yale professor Benoit Mandelbrot conducted interesting research on fractals if you are serious about studying math Princeton will offer you great opportunities.</p>

<p>If you can visit both universities again. Both are great universities.</p>

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<p>I remember reading somewhere on CC about a boy who declined Harvard’s acceptance and went to his flagship state school for a presidential scholarship, but regretted the decision two or three days after May 1st and called Harvard’s admissions office. (if you search around you could probably find it.) It took a bit of paperwork, but they let him back in a week or so later, so you should be fine and they should take you back if you call up the admissions office and explain! The kid did not EVER regret his choice after that. If you really feel that Yale is the right place for you, then go for it! Better go for it than spend the next four years regretting your decision and suffering! Good luck!</p>

<p>I’m not telling you to choose Princeton, because that’s completely up to you. But in regard to your concerns, the student body is definitely not snobbish, the street is what you make of it (if you’re about that party life, which I personally am not) and “social climbing” is not a thing – seems kinda H.S.</p>

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<p>I wonder what percent of those with “wedding dress syndrome” end up divorcing their spouses? :)</p>

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<p>You will carve out your own social niche at Princeton, and can probably do so just as well in that regard as at Yale.</p>

<p>You will find people you fit in with.</p>

<p>Plus, Princeton is a much nicer campus, in my opinion.</p>

<p>New Haven is a pit.</p>

<p>I was there for 12 hours, and my car got broken into.</p>

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<p>This is excellent advice!</p>

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<p>I’m also introverted and a little awkward. With a little work, you’ll find your place. In fact, what’s great about the eating clubs is that they’re a smaller community than residential colleges, so they can become an easy way to make friends if you choose to join one as a sophomore. If not, independents are some of the coolest and most interesting people I know here, and you’ll find a group with them. </p>

<p>To address your concerns about the Street more specifically, let me just first point out that there are eleven clubs, each with a radically different vibe. At some of them, you’ll find social climbers. At most of them you won’t. At all of them, you’ll find some really fantastic, interesting, caring people. Some clubs will be your scene. Others won’t. And that’s totally fine; after a couple months, you’ll find your niche (which might be one club or several, or not on the Street at all). </p>

<p>Another great way to make friends is through extracurriculars. Many of the performing arts groups are very close, as are debate, sports teams, and myriad other activities. Find a group early on, and you’ll have an instant circle of friends. If you don’t (I didn’t), you’ll find your friends more organically, though that may take time. But that’s just the way it is in a new setting, whether it’s in Jersey or Connecticut.</p>

<p>Introverts are extremely happy at Princeton. It’s quiet and beautiful. Introverts find one or two good friends. And the math department is a little social group of its own.</p>

<p>Lol, if you’re worried about not fitting in, come be my friend. I can assure you that loads of introverts will be around. ^_^</p>

<p>You read too much of the Prince.</p>

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<p>The Prince (and the comments) are terrifying.</p>

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<p>Don’t assume the comments on Daily Princetonian articles are from Princeton students or alumni. Unlike the student newspapers at Princeton’s peers, the Daily Princetonian has a completely open comments policy. No registration is required to leave a comment with the result that there are many imposters and trolls. You see far less of this on the websites of the Yale Daily News, the Crimson and the Stanford Daily, all of which require registration before comments can be left. :)</p>

<p>Careful, PtonGrad2000. If jomjom, germancar, et al learn about the open comments policy, they’ll ■■■■■ away.</p>

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<p>lol@sherpa and sadly true!</p>