I am trying to understand how important it is to have a good relationship with the high school counselor for college applications. Is there anything that the counselor directly responds with the colleges that I choose to apply for? Since I am in a public high school, there are few counselors for hundreds of students, so I am trying to understand how to prioritize her time, ask relevant questions and how important a good rapport with her will influence college admissions? Thanks.
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Depending on what colleges you apply to your counselor will be writing a letter on your behalf (many, but not all require one). My understanding is that this letter is slightly different than the letter you might ask teachers to write for you and focuses more around how your transcript and any extracurricular and/or issues have related to your time in high school.
It’s likely that sometime in your Junior year you’ll need to sit with your counselor to talk about life after high school and what your plans are. Any question you have that you feel is important to your future decision making is relevant.
You want your guidance counselor to at least know who you are so their LoR reflects you but I would say it’s not something where you need to build a deep relationship.
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It all depends on where you end up applying. Some colleges want a counselor letter of rec. Knowing their counselor is one of the advantages students in pricy prep schools have over many public HS applicants. And it’s not unheard of for selective private colleges to give a counselor a phone call to get more information about an applicant.
So it could be a good idea to have a few conversations with your counselor, including asking their advice about your planned classes and the kind of schools/majors you are starting to consider. Who knows, there might be a few things you don’t know that a HS counselor is aware of!
I saved a clipping from the US News college issue a few years back you might consider.
I attend a large public school where my counselor doesn’t know me well. Will I be at a disadvantage because this person couldn’t possibly write anything insightful about me?
Gary Ripple, now director of admissions at Pennsylvania’s Lafayette College, was asked this question when he was admissions dean at Virginia’s College of William and Mary. He said to the student questioner: “I wonder why your counselor doesn’t know you. Your counselor probably has over 300 students he or she is responsible for. You should take the initiative to get to know your counselor. At William and Mary, we look for students who take charge of their lives.” The student sank slowly into his seat, Ripple recalls.
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Based on my daughter’s experience in a large public school, building a relationship with your counselor is not necessarily a high priority. At our HS, there are currently seven counselors for approx. 2900 students, and they don’t even attempt to give college counseling advice. In theory, you can make an appointment to talk with your assigned counselor, but (1) the online appointment system is often unavailable, and (2) it wouldn’t matter anyway because the counselors know very little about college admissions. The counselor’s primary job is to put together viable HS schedules for each of their ~400 assigned students, and then to assist with social/behavioral issues. The only involvement they have with colleges is to circulate a blank form for students to provide activities/awards relevant to the counselor’s report, then to complete that counselor’s report using this information and upload to colleges through Naviance.
My daughter completed her part on time, and the counselor’s report was uploaded as promised according to Naviance. We never saw it, but my understanding is that it’s a relatively impersonal form that provides info and statistics about the HS (number of APs offered, demographics of the school population, avg. test scores, etc.) and only bare-bones info about the applicant. Nevertheless, my daughter was accepted to two highly competitive reach schools. From everything I’ve seen and read, AOs understand that counselors at large high schools typically don’t know individual students and will provide only generic info, and this isn’t held against the student. I would find out how the system works at your school and make sure to submit any information requested by the counselor, but I do not believe you need to spend time and effort trying to develop a close relationship in hopes of getting a better counselor letter.
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Every junior gets a 20 minutes meeting with parents/counselor, and fills out a form. Counselors give zero advice about which colleges to apply to, but suggest looking on Naviance. They don’t even give advice on what classes to take in high school. I think each one has about 300 students, my kids had 3 different ones over the years with turnover.
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It depends on how large a class you have and what is your schools culture with applying to college. If they help advise you on college choices then I would definitely make an effort. Our school has a mandatory junior and senior year appointment but also the parents plus the student has to fill out a form to get to know each student better from both the parents and student’s perspective. Then the parents with student actually meets with this counselor. They will go to bat for you if needed and if they have some sort of relationship. They actually ask for it. Yes, this is a public school. So as you can see it depends on your schools culture. They can also help you through the years if having issues in class and with teachers and how to navigate certain situations.
Try to meet with the counselor once a semester. She may be able to put certain things into her letter that sound better coming from her, such as adversities you may have faced.
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Are there any general tips to forming a good relationship with your counselor? Would it be annoying to constantly send emails to them/meet with them?
For my D23, her relationship with her counselor was important. She goes to a well-funded public high school in the suburbs where there are seven counselors for a student body of 1,200, so they’re each responsible for about 40 students in each grade.
D would meet with her counselor a couple times year, as well as provide information through Google classroom. In junior and senior years, the counselor meets with the family at various stages of the college admission process. She was very helpful in letting us know the reaches and schools where D could get good merit. And because she got to know us well, and genuinely likes my D, I am positive she wrote an excellent LOR.
My daughter probably knows her counselor better than the average student knows theirs, but I don’t think it’s important to have a very close relationship with a counselor (which is often impossible, because counselors carry heavy loads), because part of the point of the counselor’s letter is to contextualize the student’s record with information about the school and its offerings. At our school, students are required to meet with their counselors once per year. The junior year meeting includes parents and a conversation about college plans. The senior meeting does not include parents but also addresses college. Meanwhile, both students and parents fill out a series of questionnaires intended to give the counselor information to put in her letter. We were told that the more information we provided, the better the letter would be.
But still, this is different than the relationship your child has with their teachers – teachers who write LORs should know the kid a lot better than the counselor does.
The type of relationship a student can have with their counselor is subject to many things beyond the student’s control. Most importantly, the number of students a counselor is assigned is going to affect how much face time you get. At many public schools, students cannot just make an appointment with a counselor for no reason. Discussing your future doesn’t count as a reason. Failing a course does, or having something going on outside of school that is negatively affecting schoolwork will get you seen. I’m a bit taken back by some of the suggestions here. I’m very bothered by the AO who just assumed a student can have access if they just put in more effort. This person either doesn’t understand reality or is biased against those in schools where this isn’t possible.
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Go meet with them. Tell them your goals for high school and what you might want to go into but you don’t need to know that either. Ask them how often you should meet with them. Being proactive is great and very few high schoolers tend to do this which, sets you apart. They can only help you if they get to know you so no downside at all.
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My son’s regional public high school had over 2,000 students and few counselors. My son only met his counselor in group sessions before spring of junior year when parents and student had a short meeting with counselor. She knew nothing about him as she read through his file in front of us and told him that colleges did not care about senior year so there was no need to take all AP classes. (I told him otherwise) Parents were given the following list of questions to complete so the counselor could write a recommendation letter.
I hope your counselor will be more involved, but if not, maybe answer these questions with your parents and send to your counselor at the end of junior year.
What do you consider to be the primary accomplishments of your child during his/her high school career? Why?
In what areas has your child shown the most growth and development during high school?
Describe your child’s significant personality traits. What adjectives would you use to describe your child and why?
Are there any unusual or personal circumstances which have affected your child’s development, education, or college preparation?
Is there anything else you would like me to know about your child?
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