Resources for parents new to "the game"?

<p>Hey CC,</p>

<p>I graduated from Columbia University in the spring. Due to an unfortunate accident, I am going to become the guardian of my academically talented younger sister. She is 16, and goes to public school in Texas. She will graduate early, as she has a lot of AP credits from a previous, academically intense private school. She could almost graduate now, after 2 years in high school, but she is taking this entire year as her last.</p>

<p>Now that she will be under my guardianship, I need to place her in a boarding school. Currently, I have no idea how to even begin preparing for switching her schools mid-semester, while she studies for SATs. Are there any good forums for parents of high school kids, especially those going to or attempting to get in to boarding schools? Is it even reasonable to try to get her in to a good boarding school, if she hasn't even heard of ISEEs?</p>

<p>I was helping her with college applications and now this situation has come up. I understand how to tackle the college application process, but I am clueless about high schools. As it is quite hard, I was hoping to find a community that I can rely on for answering some questions.</p>

<p>Best,</p>

<p>CU14</p>

<p>You are hoping to put her in a boarding school for ONE semester? Since she is young, and it sounds like the circumstances are difficult, why not have her do this year, and next at the boarding school…assuming you can afford this option. She would get better college guidance there after a year than after a few weeks. And she would have time to settle in and really prepare for college admissions, SAT and the like.</p>

<p>Just a thought.</p>

<p>I agree that it would be hard to switch her for the rest of this year. On top of your family tragedy (sorry) this could really throw her off. Is there a family she can stay with in your home area while she finishes out HS (someone in my neighborhood did that years ago and it worked out pretty well).</p>

<p>CU14, I am impressed by your poise under circumstances that would be daunting for most young adults. I second the thought that, particularly since your sister is young (to graduate h.s.) and is going through a significantly stressful life passage, it might be more helpful for her to attend boarding school for two years. As she has already proven herself academically, you should contact admissions offices at boarding schools you’re interested in and ask whether, under the circumstances, she could be admitted on the basis of her strong academic record + AP scores, without having to take the ISEE. She will, indeed, receive more meaningful college guidance over that period (which would take some pressure off you), and will be able to beef up her application profile with more AP courses and perhaps fleshing out EC’s. Boarding schools often have beds open up in the fall, (as some students find that boarding school is not a fit, or encounter disciplinary problems), and are willing to work with families who are looking to move their student in mid-term.</p>

<p>There is a Prep School Parents forum available from the main page you may want to try.</p>

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<p>Agree that this is an option to look at. Or any other living arrangement near her current school?</p>

<p>Also, if her class rank at her current Texas high school is high enough, that can make many Texas public universities into admission safeties, which may reduce the stressfulness of college applications. Moving to a new school which does not rank, is outside of Texas, or where her rank is lower may eliminate many potential admission safeties from her college application list. (However, cost and financial aid would also need to be sorted out, for both the last year of high school and for college.)</p>

<p>I’m not worried about her getting in to college, provided she can find a good schooling environment for this year. She has significant visual disabilities yet she does well in school. I think her experiences and academics will speak for her in her applications.</p>

<p>Thank you for the advice of sending her to boarding school for 2 years. Though no teen will be thrilled by the prospect of more school, perhaps she can see that it would be best for her college chances to have 2 years at a good school. I will start calling schools now and discussing this.</p>

<p>The environment here in Texas is very much not suited to her doing well. And unless I quit my job to live with her here, there are almost no suitable people for her to live with and continue at her own school. I cannot find any responsible adults here. I’ll check out Prep School Parents forum now.</p>

<p>We’re foreign to Texas so I cannot find any family which could take care of her.</p>

<p>Is it possible for her to live with you where you are now, and attend a local public or private school where you are now?</p>

<p>I am living abroad in Sweden. I would have to quit my job and move to the US.</p>

<p>She Could come and live with me in Stockholm. And I have offered it to her. But I do not think it would be good for her academically. Plus, she would be an international student, which is very expensive at those boarding schools.</p>

<p>Just PM’d you, so you know. Do with it what you will - you’ve got a lot on your plate!</p>

<p>Where in Texas? There’s a thread on this board called “In loco parentis”…Do you live near a college? "- <a href=“"In loco parentis"....Do you live near a college? - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/344820-in-loco-parentis-do-you-live-near-a-college.html&lt;/a&gt; — every parent who has posted on that thread did so because they were willing to help out a stranger if necessary. </p>

<p>There are responsible adults in the community where your sister is living that are willing to help her and would welcome her into their homes – you just don’t know them. Now is the time to reach out. </p>

<p>That may or may not prove to be a potential solution, but it is one that you can and probably should be exploring. </p>

<p>I’m unclear about your current situation - you mentioned Texas being “foreign” and you are living abroad - is your sister a US citizen? </p>

<p>Also – you said that your sister “could almost” graduate now. Is there a way that she could leave high school early and go straight to college? There are some colleges with “early entrance” programs – these are programs that accept teenagers who have not yet graduated from high school. It might be that rather than be thrown into a situation of having to adjust to a new boarding school, it would be better to try to find a college program for her. Here’s an example of one that you can check out: <a href=“http://simons-rock.edu/”>http://simons-rock.edu/&lt;/a&gt; (They do take some spring admits - that is, students who will start in January) I don’t know what your financial situation is, but boarding school tuitions can be just as costly as college-- so you might find that a college program geared to early entrants is a better allocation of resources.)</p>

<p>I’m sorry for your loss. </p>

<p>I was going to suggest simons-rock, but the esteemed calmom suggested it first. That sounds like a great option given everything that you said. Generally students transfer from there after two years and spend 3 years finishing their degree. However, I don’t know if they have spring semester admissions. However, given the circumstances, it’s worth having her check it out. </p>

<p>Is there any reason she can’t just stay in your family home and finish school? She’s 16, bright. How mature is she. Can she live alone? Does she have friends whose parents can look in on her?</p>

<p>16 is not 12. It’s not ideal, but neither is losing your parents. </p>

<p>The Simon’s Rock web site says that they do take some spring admits-- but do not offer merit aid to that group. So a lot really depends on finances. I think the OP could call someone in the admissions department and explain the situation. </p>

<p>Also Simon’s Rock isn’t the only college early entrance program - it’s just the one I know of. I think that online resources for gifted education may lead to others. </p>

<p>There is no other family or anyone else living anywhere in the US where she could live and attend a local public or private school?</p>

<p>Please accept my condolences. It must be a very challenging time for the both of you, but kudos to you for stepping up to the plate!</p>

<p>If your sister would like to stay in Texas, you may want to consider TMI in San Antonio (<a href=“http://www.tmi-sa.com”>www.tmi-sa.com</a>). It’s an Episcopal school but it is not overly religious (if that’s a concern). The school is very well regarded and we know many families and faculty there. Many TMI graduates attend highly selective universities and they have a “boarding” option ($43k/yr for tuition, room and board). As a matter of fact, we are considering sending our daughter there next fall as a day student.</p>

<p>Anyway, if you would like more information send me a PM and I’ll be happy to help out in any way. Wishing you and your sister the best of luck during this very difficult transition.</p>

<p>TT</p>

<p>Are you able to hire a prep school admissions consultant who could help you now?</p>

<p>Is there an international school near you? For example, Stockhold International School? <a href=“Parked at Loopia”>Parked at Loopia;
They teach in English.</p>

<p>Have you talked to the guidance counselor at her old school?</p>

<p>Did your parents go to a house of worship? If so, there may be people there who are willing to host your sister until the end of the school year.</p>

<p>I’m so sorry for this situation. It must be very difficult for both of you. I may have missed it, but what does your sister want to do? As a very bright girl of 16 I would imagine that it would be important to get her input. Does she also really want to get into an elite school? My advice after a significant loss is generally to try to keep as many other things the same as possible. I can understand not wanting to quit a job overseas. If it is financially feasible, have you explored whether it might be possible given these extenuating circumstances to take a leave of absence from your job? Spending 3 to 6 months with your sister might be an amazing gift for both of you. During that time you could better get to know the community and find a situation where your sister could finish out her senior year. If she doesn’t want to work on college applications right now, perhaps she could find a good gap year situation and apply to colleges next year. Good luck with whatever you decide.</p>

Thank you to everyone who replied. Your suggestions and condolences were much appreciated.

Responsible members of her community stepped up to help her finish high school in her current school. We just had to reach out. She has been accepted to University and we are now dealing with the mess that is financial aid for people who do not have parents…

I’m so glad you came back to report. Thrilled she’s got a U acceptance, sounds like a headache financially with you being her guardian?