I’m in Panic Mode because we found out yesterday that ds had a minor crash-and-burn his Freshman year, making it basically impossible for him to get into his major at his current school . He did this without supports-obviously a bad idea but he’d been adamant he didn’t want any. Learned the hard way. Trying to gather info from a school he’d previously been admitted to (he’s ASD, so it’s harder for him to assertively ask plus he’s hurting right now; my coping is gathering info so he has choices). I called the Office of Disability Services this morning, hoping to meet and find out how they would help support ds (now knowing where he really needed help-hindsite!). They won’t see me until next week! I asked if they had an appt today and she said it’s their policy not to have same day appts. ?!?! She didn’t know why and wouldn’t make an exception. I thought it was very heartless and reflects poorly in their willingness to support kids. Or is this typical? I’m emotional right now so maybe am judging them unfairly. My son’s current school, I spoke to a counselor Over The Phone who gave me advice and said to call if we need help! I want to like the local Uni because it’s our best option but I can’t help feeling let down already! (Last year, certain staff were uninterested in selling the program and I’d been td by locals that they’re complacent because they’re well respected locally and don’t feel the need to sell themselves)
It’s been a couple of days, so I hope you have a little more perspective now. I can see myself reacting the way you did, ready to storm into the office of disability services with my flaming sword (or a long list of questions). But it’s not fair or realistic to expect a school where your son isn’t even a student (yet) to give you a same-day appointment. If they’re good, they presumably are spending a lot of time helping their current students. The no-same-day-appointments policy sounds odd, but so, to be honest, was your request. (And I say this with all sympathy and as someone who’s stepped on a lot of toes in my efforts to help my son.)
I hope you’ve been spending this weekend collecting your thoughts and deciding what supports your son needs. Rather than asking what the school can do to help him, figure out what he needs (that you will be able to back up with a professional evaluation).
If you haven’t already, I’d recommend reading The Parent’s Guide to College for Students on the Autism Spectrum by Jane Thierfeld Brown. Dr. Brown also offers consultations.
Lastly, if you’ve emerged from panic mode remember that he doesn’t have to zoom back into college next semester. Maybe taking a semester off to gain some skills he’s lacking, get therapy, or just reflect–while working or taking local classes or something–would be helpful. That would give you both time to figure out how to make his next experience a rousing success.
I deal with my stress by doing research and gathering information. To be told -we won’t talk to you for a few days simply out of policy (when I’ve hit my head against many stupid policies over the years) had really made me question their focus on student needs. Yes, I’m not the student but, as experts on the Disabled, they should understand that a kid with anxiety issues may need to be dealt with differently. I fully intend to bring him into the process but if he was capable of self-advocating, he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. I’d hoped…but we were wrong.
I can certainly understand your frustration. It was a dumb thing for them to say! I hope they prove to be more helpful when you do meet with them.