<p>NYU and UMass cant even be compared. NYU is an extremely prestigious school, and for many years they have received the most amount of applicants, becoming the most popular school amongst prospective students. NYU school of buisness is among the world’s best.</p>
<p>Dbate</p>
<p>I still think you a lucky black kid from Texas who can go to Yale with what you achieved in HS. Based on the SAT math scores, you made a good choice not going to engineering because it has alot advanced math. Of couse this is only my opinion.
Also, I believe that you are not totally earning your way to an elite college but inheriting it. My son has better stats than yours but he is not as lucky as you because he is an asian.</p>
<p>Yes, yes nojunkviolins if only it weren’t for all those darn minorities taking your son’s spot. He obviously has no flaws, I mean top scores should get you into any school. You should contact the admissions office right now and tell them that they have made an egregious error. I mean this black kid with “gasp” ONLY a 34 on the ACT. I bet they didn’t even see his abysmal SAT scores because he never sent them in, obviously the system is totally broken and every top school should genuflect to your son’s awesomeness. I mean he is Asian, there is no way it could be HIS fault that he got rejected, surely it must be affirmative action. I myself am just appalled.</p>
<p>God, Dbate, just go away, please.</p>
<p>Gentlemen, Ladies - civil discussion, please.</p>
<p>I was accepted at Bucknell, Villanova, and Washington & Lee but got no financial aid at all. These places cost around $50K a year, totally out of reach for my family. Even if we could afford them, I’d feel guilty if my parents spent that much just on me. I’m going to the University of Arkansas where my first year will be pretty much free due to instate tuition voucher, scholarship from U of A, and outside scholarships. Maybe I’ll transfer to a “better” school later or go to one for grad school. It’s not what I wanted to do but it’s the best we CAN do. </p>
<p>Sometimes that’s how things go…</p>
<p>“So I should consider going to an Ivy so I can talk to folks at cocktail parties?”</p>
<p>toneranger: No, of course not. No one in our family even drinks! But I would like my children to learn how to carry themselves like they belong–not like the “poor relatives” in hyeonjlee’s post who know they’re out of place and out-classed. </p>
<p>D and I attended one of those elite college regional meetings where 6 schools give presentations. I never saw so many Mercedes and BMW’s in one parking lot before! Anyway, we both noticed how some parents simply owned their space in the room, and yes, they were the rich ones. After the general presentations, the reps split off to the corners of the room and crowds of people formed half circles around them waiting to ask specific or more personal questions. We watched one dad come to our area at least 15-20 minutes after the group had formed, and somehow, without seeming pushy, he managed to place himself right next to the rep, asked a question, got the guy’s e-mail and gave him his own, and then left. I couldn’t figure out how he did it without seeming rude, since after all the rest of us had been there well before him waiting our turn. I think he just carried himself like he was an important person who needed that information, and everyone else simply accepted that he was important. Now, I’m not necessarily advocating that behavior in a setting like that, but I’m saying it’s a distinct attitude about oneself and toward the world that produces a different effect on people and enables one to take charge, lead, solicit cooperation, and get results. </p>
<p>I’m not doing this justice, I know.</p>
<p>I know people who when they walk into a room, own it and when people afterwards learn that they are jobless people they are astounded because they thought they were ceo’s.</p>
<p>Actually, the etiquette of both of my children, my son especially, took a dive after graduation from their elite colleges. I attribute my son’s poor table manners to the boorish behaviors he saw in his fraternity. I had to “re-educate” them again.</p>
<p>The people at my job with the most elegance are the immigrant cleaning staff. It pains me to see how most of my colleagues treat them as non-people.</p>
<p>Some were professionals in their home societies, some not. But they are unfailingly polite and engaged. And no false self-importance.</p>
<p>I do know what was meant by the idea of getting “polish” at an elite school, especially for a person whose had no access before. But I think this was much truer of earlier generations.</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure no knows what fork to use anymore and no one cares.</p>
<p>I remember a front page picture of Nelson Rockefeller giving someone the finger during the brief time he was vice president. I was young then, but quickly deduced that the idea of a mannered upper class had gone the way of the dodo bird.</p>
<p>DocT
“I know people who when they walk into a room, own it and when people afterwards learn that they are jobless people they are astounded because they thought they were ceo’s.”</p>
<p>HaHa. Interesting.
This reminds me a Taiwanese saying, something like this:
The rice crops that have the full grains are the ones that are standing the lowest. Those crops with look-alike grains, standing high in the air, making all waves, are usually empty.</p>
<p>DBate you do realize you were being baited right? I mean it was obvious they were after your goat and you bought in hook line and sinker time after time. </p>
<p>Oh to be 18 and know all the answers. I remember those days</p>
<p>To the GFG- I understand your point and agree with you. You saw a man whose poise, self-confidence and general demeanor were so impressive that the subconsious reaction of others around him was ‘this is an important person’. You want your children to acquire that quality, and having observed that many people who graduate from Ivy schools seem to have it, that might be a good place to learn this kind of confidence. </p>
<p>Mythmom- I don’t see that the above has anything to do with being nice to janitors, who are of course capable of being noble and/or not, just like the rest of us.</p>
<p>And I for one still think it is important to know what fork to use. We travel overseas often, and rarely see a young person from any country but ours who does not know the basics of meal etiquette.</p>
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<p>OT, but that describes Bill Clinton. If you are in a room with him, the energy around him is palpable.</p>
<p>^ LOL, which illustrates the importance of cultivating that special quality–you can be a complete sleezebag and people still adore you!</p>
<p>Exactly! The description I gave is for one of my best friends. He has hardly ever worked but comes across as dynamic and knowledgeable on everything. I had to convince people that he is actually a lazy guy who lives off his wife’s income.</p>
<p>I really think that elite schools really only bring value to certain professions. I mean finance would pretty much suck and law is boring, and many times business professions recruit heavily on a regional basis. The best thing about top schools in my opinion is the financial aid that exceeds even what I would expect to pay.</p>
<p>Dbate- How is it that you know “law is boring?” I don’t find my job boring at all- I never know what’s going to happen on any given day, and I’ve been practicing law for over 30 years.</p>
<p>There is an additional dimension to the whole thing about children from wealthy families having a sense of belonging in the rarefied environment. It’s not just wealth. In fact, I think there is an even more important element than wealth. I believe it’s really the intellectual confidence. From very early age on, we brought our children to most of the social gatherings we went to. Given that most of them are gatherings of our colleagues, who happen to be 90% Ph.D., the kids were exposed since they were barely toddlers all sorts of heavy duty adult discussions on wild ranging subject matters.</p>
<p>While we never owned a luxury car, never shop at luxury stores, get $12 haircuts, and don’t live in a MacMansion, we spent money with wild abandon taking kids to all the famous and god forgotten places on this planet. They have visited almost all the famous and not so famous museums in the world. I wanted them feel that truly the world is their oyster, and they would feel comfortable in any part of this planet and feel at ease with people from all different corners of the universe. </p>
<p>A few years back, S2 was invited to a birthday party of a friend from a uber nouveau riche family. He was the only kid invited. The birthday party consisted of staying over night at the friend’s home which really looked like a medium sized hotel, having brunch at a five star restaurant, going out on a deep sea fishing expedition in the family’s yacht with all the extended family members of his friend, and then finishing it up with a dinner at the friend’s house with their household staff serving the guests. He came back from the party and calmly informed me “They may be far richer than we, but I outclassed them all - children AND adults”.</p>
<p>I think there is far too much emphasis on wealth as a measure of confidence. Though there is a good deal of correlation between wealth and intellect, I think kids can grow up confident in a lot of difference ways.</p>
<p>I haven’t read this whole thread, nor do I have time to right now. So maybe this has already been discussed, if so, please excuse. My oldest two are at top tier ivies, not so much because they are ivies, but because for us it was the best deal from the sense of a balance between cost of attendance and educational/peer caliber. From among eight or so acceptances for both of them, only the top tier of the ivies offered significant enough financial aid that while it didn’t equate with what we’d shell out at our top Virgina schools with our prepaid tuition plan, it was manageable. Paying full freight at the top LAC’s or other ivies wasn’t really an option, once we got the financial aid notifications. My boys are doing us proud by working hard, making great friends, concentrating on their studies and not the prestige of where they go (when asked, I usually name the state and not the college) and trying to absorb as much as they can from the great minds that are shaping them right now. Their peers from their very highly thought of high school who attend W&M or UVa say that high school was tougher than college. I’m glad they have the challenge and can’t say that.
On the other hand, my D will be heading off to one of our great state schools this fall and I feel it is perfect for her. I am glad to finally be able to take advantage of our prepaid tuition, she will be very well challenged, and she should be very proud to have the opportunity to attend.
Every child and every financial circumstance is different. For some, a “highly regarded” college is worth it for numerous reasons, for others it is not.
We are comfortable middle class, worked our tails off to get there, and could care less about prestige, be it in a school name or an automobile brand. Not everyone at the ivies are there for the prestige or because they are rich.</p>