<p>I just read a silly novel called “Tap and Gown”. It was written by a Yale grad, set at a school in New Haven called “Eli” but which is obviously Yale. The plot revolves around a girl and her membership in one of the secret societies (called Rose & Grave, probably like Skull and Bones). It definitely addresses the idea of Ivy networks and connections. But if that’s really what life is like at Yale and really how kids there really think, then I hereby withdraw my previously-held support for education at elite schools!</p>
<p>Back to the topic - kid going to Princeton. Seems worth it to us. </p>
<p>She was admitted to Uva (our in-state school) and could have gone tuition free. </p>
<p>I am not sure where the line to draw would have been had she not chosen HYP. Although Cornell (by way of limited example) is a great school, is it worth paying for against UVa tuition free? Heck, one can make the argument UVa on these terms is better in every case. </p>
<p>Always a difficult decision, and frankly a personal one. </p>
<p>I raise this because all families draw lines - pros and cons to both. Forgotten in the discussion is the query as to what is the environment in which a student can really excel? Perhaps that is more important than anything else. </p>
<p>I am stuck with full pay in every case except where merit scholarships hit here and there, so I was long prepared for this. That might make a difference too in terms of our thinking.</p>
<p>I tend to prefer non-fiction…a book I liked was “Havard Shmarvard”
“This book gives us a welcome and helpful way of looking at college and university rankings. Jay Mathews offers refreshing insights into the college admissions process and makes the important point that getting into the ‘best’ college is less important than choosing the college that brings out the best in every student.” — Richard W. Riley, former U.S. Secretary of Education</p>
<p>mam1959: I agree with previous posters who have commented that a choice between no-name public and an Ivy is a lot easier than the choice is between one of the best public universitites in the US, like UVA, and an Ivy. I’m not sure you can go extremely wrong either way, so choosing must have been difficult.</p>
<p>Our choice for child #2 will be between completely free and sub-top 50 in the rankings, or Ivy and moderately costly (good FA but painful enough). It was easier to chose the Ivy route for our first, since we had decent college savings and he was a kid who clearly needed a top school. Those savings are now depleted, and D is a tougher nut to crack and understand. So do we make the same choice for her when it will hit us more in the wallet? I try not to judge other people’s decisions because we have struggled very much through this processs and so easily could have made a different choice. Can’t say others have been quiet about their opinions regarding our choice, though.</p>
<p>The most important thing is developing and doing well at any school. It makes no sense to go to an Ivy or a similar top school and fool around (and to go into debt to do so). </p>
<p>It comes down to an assessment of your kid’s maturity. That is hardly foolproof. </p>
<p>Debt is a killer, though. </p>
<p>I rate getting my kids through school (the older one is almost done) without any debt on my part or theirs as one of my life’s big accomplishments, as silly as that sounds. It just gives them so much more freedom.</p>
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