Revival of Middle Class Black Posters

<p>Go Bisons!!!!</p>

<p>Welcome Silvermoonlock! Congrats about Howard. Shrinkrap, how did KNOW you were going to weigh in with "Go Bisons"!! :)</p>

<p>Ah, yes, diversity. I sit writing this from a hotel room in Providence RI. We are halfway through our marathon college tour. Tally so far:
Ithaca College: I only saw AA female students. Where were the young brothers?? On the upside maybe DS will get a girlfriend...
Syracuse:Great! We were not the only AA family at the info session (there was another from the DC area). Also there seems to be an effort here as there was a large group from "Prep for Prep" there at the same time.
BU: What a zoo! There must have been 75 families in our information session. Did not see one other AA family.....
Tomorrow is Brown and Friday is Wheaton (AA male president!!)</p>

<p>BTW, congrats Madville about Denison.</p>

<p>BTW, Silvermoonlock, your D's school (and your choice of music to blare!) sounds lot like ours. It is interesting to me that she seems to have a different perspective than my D. I believe this is a question raised here before; to what do you attribute your D's racial identity?</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>The racial identity has come full circle for my daughter. From pre-K through 8th grade, she was in a small private school, which started out somewhat diverse. By 8th grade it was mostly black.</p>

<p>For whatever reason she had lost patience with her classmates, although some she had been with since pre-K. Too much familiarity at that point. She wasn't clear on why some of them behaved like they did and they seemed shallow to her (OK she watched the news and read newspapers and watches the history channel). She didn't revolve around Kanye West or Allen Iverson lol. Long story short, she cut her ties with all of them. They reached out to her, or I would stil be incontact with the parents, but she wasn't having any of it.</p>

<p>She hit high school and thought she'd find people who would share some of her interests. (Excuse me while I laugh) She found the exact same thing at the new school, except it was a different culture. Of course she has made some good friends there, but she realized shallowness wasn't limited to race.</p>

<p>Anyway, by living in a city where the minority population is the majority, she was put in a position of defending the city and the race. She was just telling me today that she chooses her discussions because somedays it feels as if she is the spokesperson for the black race at school...rofl. "If she says it, it must be true!!"</p>

<p>As an aside, she was talking about colleges with counselor last year and expressed some interest at Xavier. The counselor had absolutely no knowledge of Xavier University in La. Kid had no respect for the counselor after that.</p>

<p>OMG! I hope I don't sound like Bill Cosby when I say this, but I have to give Cos his due. Silvermoonlock, your child sounds a little like my kids. They go to a high school that is very diverse. (39 percent black, 36 percent white, 12 percent Asian, 11 percent Hispanic) The black population of the school is the one that's been growing. My son said to me that other night, "If I weren't black, my school would make be be a racist against blacks." He says some of the black kids at the school behave so badly that they are giving blacks a bad name. As far as my D, who is a senior, she's in almost all AP classes, and there are very few blacks in those classes. Therefore, her experience of the school is very different from my son's experience. It's almost like they go to different schools if you look at the makeup of their classes. Anyway, my kids feel that the other blacks at their school are giving other races the wrong impression about what blacks are really like. These kids are in the middle class, living in decent homes, but seem to have very little regard for education. It's frightening. Since my S is a freshman, I can only hope we're just seeing freshman immaturity and not something more sinister.</p>

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<p>Which, of course, comes FULL CIRCLE to a post I made in the old forum: What the heck IS middle class really? And how do you know when you're "upper" middle -- or just, plain, "upper?"</p>

<p>Got a great & much appreciated response back then from a race-neutral point of view, but I wonder if the definition of "black middle class" isn't in someway DIFFERENT from other middle classes these days? Pulling in data from all the posts in here that have come before, we see that "middle class" when applied to blacks, doesn't mean "middle wealth." </p>

<p>-- and now we have TriG & SilverM & Shrink all jammin' to rap (don't ask me who <em>I</em> listen to - I'd have y'all rollin' and calling me "old."). So obviously the "upper middle" posters in this forum enjoy the same "culture" as the middle class kids referred to in T-Mama's post. WHAT THE HECK HAS HAPPENED to middle kids today?!! They're acting EXACTLY like the kids I went to school with in the projects in Dorchester back in the late 60's. And I gotta say -- livin' on the gov't dime, we were no where NEAR middle class back then.</p>

<p>When I was younger, I used to sneak peeks at the middle class kids. They were the ones in magnet schools, wearing socks and mary janes. They shopped the Sears Catalog and went to church every Sunday in spiffy clothes, driven there in actual family cars(!). They played piano and could identify the "Minuet in G" from "Fur Elise." </p>

<p>You KNEW the lower class kids, 'cause we were the ones in the late 60's outside until dark, not doing homework, playing hop scotch or jump rope, or "Mother May I" til' our haggard parents yelled through the windows for us to come inside -- or in the early 70's sporting HUGE "boomboxes", huddled around the "break dancers" who were doing incredible contortions to the sounds of the Sugar Hill Gang. Sitting in the back of the bus or the train (because that's where the "cool kids" rode), laughing and talking loudly. We backed up our "gang" as today's middle class kids do their "homies." </p>

<p>I swear - I can't tell the difference between the black working and middle class today. The lines have blurred. Upper middle appears to be what middle once was. And upper class? Hell I dunno -- they don't eat barbequed ribs w/their bare hands - I don't hang with 'em.</p>

<p>The thing I hate most -- is the toll it's taking on my girls' identities. Like your S, T-mama, "if [they] weren't black, [their] school would make [them] racist against blacks." </p>

<p>On the bright side, though? If each generation strives to be as different from their parents as possible. Perhaps THEIR kids will be defiantly and fiscally responsible!</p>

<p>Class has always been a complicated issued - - and too often confused with income, or even wealth. </p>

<p>For example, many of DD's boarding school White friends were affluent, but did not have any of the values or experiences associated with being upper-middle class. Often the parents had not attended college - - and if they had attended college it was as state school. This was quite different than the familes at DD's upper-eastside day school where many of the girls could boast day school, prep school and ivy league legacy relations going back two or three generations. And yes, each one, including DD, played "Fur Elise" or something similar at a middle-school recital and they now share a obsession with designer bags and sunglasses (the real thing - - not bootleg).</p>

<p>DD has had considerable difficulty finding other black students w/ background similar to hers. Generally, the black students with our class-values come from families that are wealthier my own. Or they are from working-class or poor families. As a result, many of DD's class-peer friendships are with White students. And DD would echo TX-mama's post re: bringing down the race. </p>

<p>It breaks my heart.</p>

<p>On a lighter note, my son wrote a "fashion" column today in which he discussed the latest in hip hop attire with which his caucasian peers could find their "inner gangster"....</p>

<p>I can echo the same thing here. My girls have always stuck out like a sore thumb no matter which setting they were in. "Not black enough," "talking too proper," "oreo", etc. White kids used to come up to D3 and say, "Wow, even I'm blacker than you." </p>

<p>On the other end of the spectrum, D1 is often stereotyped due to her name (not quite Shaniqua, but close enough I guess :)), and has been in many situations of being the "black" representative, or put on the defensive regarding the "black point of view," etc. </p>

<p>Fortunately, they've adapted extremely well and have a very large and broad network of friends and associates which pleases me considering the range of other potential outcomes. </p>

<p>As far as other black students, I agree with Texasmama and others. Even in college D1 was always expressing sadness regarding some of the unfortunate thinking and self-effacing behaviors she observed. And that was including some who might otherwise be considered among the best and brightest.</p>

<p>Good Morning!</p>

<p>Kid was notified of her acceptance to Northeastern with a hefty scholarship : ) Northeastern was actually her 1st choice about a year ago. We did the college tour last summer to visit several schools. Howard, Northeastern and other assorted est coast colleges.</p>

<p>Howard was the 1st stop. The trip could have ended there lol. By the time we got to Boston, the lack of diversity was glaring. She thought Northeastern was too much like her high school. I saw the (white) students treating the (black) workers in Dunkin Doughnuts like trash. She applied to the other schools by November. Northeastern sent a notice to apply free, so she said what the heck!! Now she has to tell Northeastern no thanks. The deposits have been made to Howard and she will be going to the Weekend at the Mecca next week ; )</p>

<p>Anyway. Back to her middle class values. My grandfather (born in 1896) was one of the 1st black lawyers in the City. My uncle was a MD, my mom is a reitred teacher with 2 masters. My cousins are lawyers and doctors. She has 2 cousins who will graduate this spring; one with a masters in IT from Carnegie Mellon and the other just finished med school. A 3rd cousin graduated from Stanford, got a masters in Public health from U-Mich, MD from Duke and is now doing residency at a Harvard affilliated hospital in Boston. My mom is an AKA, as am I and we have assorted pink and green things around our houses. College was always a given.</p>

<p>The City has at least 3 public schools which are for the best and brightest. One the kid's teachers really didn't want the kid to attend. She referred to the students there as intellectual thugs. The students embracing a hip-hop culture that my kid can't quite relate with. They understood the need to excel, but stil feel the need to keep it real( say what?)</p>

<p>Yes, we listen to hip-hop, but my child's iPod has Aretha, Gladys, Tina, Carlos Santana, EWF, Hall and Oates, Jimi Hendrix(!) and others, in addition to Chris Brown, Outkast, and Kanye (lol I will ask her to replay Kiss Kiss by Chris Brown)</p>

<p>In the end, I kind of think Black Middle class is a state of mind. If your families are like mine, we have everything from the successful, motivated relatives I referenced earlier, to those who are quite happy to recieve a hand-out ( and we don't get it, since we were all exposed to the same things)</p>

<p>I'm getting a new respect for first-generation college students. I am finding among all my friends and aquaintences that if the parents didn't go to college, the kids aren't planning traditional college either. Some are going to the military. Some are choosing beauty school. I am so proud of those kids who are realizing that in order to have a better life than their parents, they need to go to college.</p>

<p>The flip side (whine) is that it seems some schools have taken what used to be scholarships for black kids and turned them into scholarships for first generation college students of all colors. I don't think I can argue that this is a bad thing for society. But it looks like a bad thing for me. (sniff, sniff).</p>

<p>OK end of pity party.
Update on my daughter's progress
Please note that this is the child who said this time last year (probably in some Gilmore Girls-induced stupor) that she really wanted to go to the East Coast.
Accepted to:
Trinity University (San Antonio)
Baylor
UT-Austin
Houston Baptist
Texas A&M</p>

<p>Rejection
Washington University St. Louis</p>

<p>Here's what I am finding regarding financial aid offers so far.
Baylor -- about 16,000 ($7,000 renewable)
Houston Baptist -- 7,000 renewable Presidents scholarship and all the rest in loans
Not expecting any help from UT or A&M since their price tags are still relatively low.</p>

<p>Skeewee Silvermoonlock! ( me, mom, sis, two aunts....my dad and BIL are alpha's , H is an "independant". Ivy league...sheesh)</p>

<p>Good Morning!</p>

<p>Did anyone else forgo submitting the CSS profile because of cost? After I received the EFC from FAFSA (and laughed uncontrollably). I declined to fill out the CSS. The idea that I had to pay money for someone to tell us the the kid wasn't going to get any seemed like a racket.</p>

<p>Northeastern requested the CSS profile, but she got merit anyway.
Eastern Michigan gave her merit long before the FAFSA form was available.
Howard gave her the full ride before the FAFSA form was available.
Michigan State and Wayne State wanted her to take more tests to be eligible for merit aid.</p>

<p>For the record, I love, Love, LOVE this thread! Talk about your intraracial diversity!</p>

<p>Silvermoonlock, while we had your reaction to the FAFSA, I think a lot of private colleges require the CSS Profile. We weren't able to get around it, as one school even required it even for merit consideration.</p>

<p>T-mama, I'm bummed! Your D didn't consider Rice? Aggies DO rock, though!</p>

<p><em>rolling eyes & smiling</em> @ Shrink & Silver's "greek" legacies. Rice didn't HAVE any frats on campus! But DH's a 3rd gen Q -- so that oughtta get me some association brownie points, huh? Huh?</p>

<p>FLAVADad -- your comments on your Ds' experiences really hit home! (Why aren't blacks allowed to assimilate speech style like everyone else?!). But you KNOW -- now that you done gone an' thrown "Shaniqua" in the mix, we all gon' be DYIN' up in here to know just what ya'll DID name that oldest child! <em>cracking up</em></p>

<p>Darn it! I was trying to recall the funniest one I've heard recently, but it's completely slipped my (aging) mind. Plus there's a lot of distraction in the background from my (not-so-creatively-named) offspring who are clamoring to go see "The Other Boleyn Girl" or "Ms. Pettigrew Lives for a Day." Have a great weekend, all!</p>

<p>Rice would have been another reach for her. Also, it's only 15 miles from home, making it very unattractive in D's eyes.</p>

<p>And yes FLVADAD, come on. Fess up</p>

<p>I recall running across a Billionisha a few years ago.</p>

<p>My DD was just recently a finalist for the Ron Brown Scholarship, and they sent her a very nice "coffee table style" book of Essays from past recipients, and there was a guy whose name was Lordserious!</p>

<p>We had a "Praisethelord" and a "Thankgodalmighty" in my old school, many years ago. Also a "Shacarlra" and "Abvreyion" (try saying either of those names quickly!). [sorry, I'm not a middle-class black poster, but the children mentioned above are African-American].</p>

<p>OK my brother-you have gotten us all quite curious what is DD's name?</p>

<p>My favorites (with pronunciations):
Azalea (az-a-lee-a with accent on "lee"))
Lemonjelo (le-mahn-ja-lo accent on "mahn")
Ragina and Vagina (Va-jean-a twins from a mother not acquainted with the clinical name for a lady's region)
Female (fe-mah-lay accent on "mah" although this might be urban legend)</p>

<p>Back from week long road trip. We both survived and DS learned alot about himself and what he wants from college. Greeted upon arrival home with the results of March 1 SAT. Quickly went to Borders to pick up ACTstudy guide. Lord, please smile upon this endeavor with a score that will not impede his dreams.</p>

<p>No Greek here. Broke my mother's heart when I did not pledge AKA.</p>