Rising College Sophomore: Dorming vs. Commuting

<p>Hello!</p>

<p>I am a frequent lurker, but lately something has been bothering me and I wanted to get some input onto my dilemma.</p>

<p>I currently attend the University of Washington in Seattle, and had dormed on campus as I had completed my first year as a college student. I live about in a suburban town called Maple Valley, approximately an ~1 1/2 hour bus ride, or ~1 hour drive (with traffic, possibly even more) from the university. Anyways, I have always been a "mama's boy" and thus the decision for me to dorm was quite hard to digest. After a full year, I honestly admit, I had spent a lot of my weekends going back home (staying on campus during weekdays).</p>

<p>This upcoming year, I have signed up to dorm, but do have the option to opt out within the next week or so. This morning, my parents were talking about my upcoming year, and my plans on when to start looking into dorm shopping. For some odd reason, I kind of teared when talking with them, as I guess something struck me in my mind. At the moment, I am currently signed up to dorm on campus. Though the past few hours, I am now wondering, does dorming really make sense for me? I could always commute to the UW (University of Washington), or even possibly drive.</p>

<p>Though, the biggest thing making me reconsider is the financial obligations. This past year, I had spent a total of $7,834 in loans (I am owning up to the fact that I am responsible for these loans, and no one else [furthermore, I never told my parents, and have no desire in telling them so.]). That being said, I am totally covered tuition wise, as I was able to basically get a full-ride from the University (to cover anything but dorming on campus). I was doing the math for this upcoming year, and this is what I was able to conclude at: After all my scholarships are applied for the three quarters of attendance, I would be leftover with $1450 per quarter which would be used for anything else (books, dorming, etc). If I were to dorm on campus, I would have to pay $2699 per quarter (including dorming and the meal plan), leaving me with a total of $1249, in which my only method of paying off would be by taking out a loan.</p>

<p>That being said, if I were to commute, I would live with my parents, thus not having to pay a dime (and instead chip in and pay off few bills at home). Obviously, with dorming, I would have the luxury to be on campus for pretty much anything, but I guess the reality that I have my own bedroom to myself, versus sharing a room kind of makes me want to reconsider as well. What really scares me about commuting though, is that ultimately, I want to meet and network as many people as possible, and not be a "loaner" and totally miss out on things that would be going on, furthermore miss out on the "college experience". I was active in multiple clubs on campus, and am hearing about more activities going on, but I guess that feeling that if I were to commute, and having a schedule that revolves around the bus timetable kind of irks me.</p>

<p>Personally, as a 19 year old male, I had never really dated anyone in life, and I really want to experience that and grow something off that. I guess what I am trying to conclude to is, I don't want to miss any "opportunities" on campus (as said again). I never partied in my life, I never drank alcohol/smoke and am vegetarian. I think judging from my first year, dorming was pretty cool, having that "Freedom" to do whatever I want was pretty cool. Even going back home, it made me realize how more responsible I am for certain things and what not.</p>

<p>Sorry for such a long story... my mind is a mess and I want to collect myself and sort things out. Obviously, my biggest goals of attending a University is to get a degree, and excel with high credentials. As a pre-engineering major, I want to my parents proud... as I am the first person in my family to even get past middle school, I really want to excel and have no obstacles in my way.</p>

<p>What do you guys recommend? Should I dorm on campus, and take out those loans? Or should I just commute, and live with my parents? Any tips/advice? the amount of loans I would take out this year would be significantly smaller, but in reality, would it still be smarter, as the amount of loans I owe back would be increasing. Or should I use the extra leftover money per quarter, and gradually start paying off those loans?</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>Ouch, that’s tricky.</p>

<p>I have about that commute right now… I’ve always commuted for summers. 1-2 hours to get to/from campus isn’t fun, nor is random traffic. It tends to decrease motivation (it’s just an hour long class, not worth the commute) and makes it a bit harder to go to events on campus… it also makes it harder to hang out with friends, since they don’t live right next door anymore. And you lose about 2 hours every day that you need to go to campus to commuting, which is probably the worst part.</p>

<p>That said, if dorming is too expensive, it’s definitely doable. Try to plan your schedule so you’ll be travelling when traffic is light, get a day off if you can, try to group classes together, etc. Given the choice I would rather dorm, but if it means taking out loans… I’d probably try to make commuting during a normal semester work instead.</p>

<p>Make sure you factor things like gas money into your decision too, commuting isn’t free either!</p>

<p>Housing costs are high in Seattle, so I understand the concern about finances.
What do your parents say? Do they want you to dorm, or are they happy to have you live at home? What kind of freedom do you have?
I’m a mom, so my response is probably going to be different than a student’s. I can hear the students’ responses- live at home- -no way!! You will miss out on getting to do what your parents won’t know about!!! ( but we know more than you think we know)
Some of that, you don’t seem interested in, and that’s OK too.
Here is what I would say if I had a college age son who wanted to live at home. I would be fine with it, especially with the financial savings, and also because there is some comfort from living at home that can’t be found in a dorm. However, I would not want the situation to stunt your growing up and keep you from learning to live on your own. In a way though, even the dorms don’t replicate being independent, as meals and such are provided. They are opportunities to socialize and manage responsibilities away from parents. So, even if my child lived at home, I would expect him to manage these things on his own.
You should be doing your own laundry, cleaning your room and common areas, managing all your classwork without any prompting or reminding.
I would still cook- since I cook anyway, but you would be responsible for being part of the process- helping prepare some meals, shopping, clean up- so that you know how to do this. You would be responsible for car maintenance.
If there are younger siblings, you would take on some of the tasks of helping- time permitting- like driving them to activities, helping with homework and so on, because living at home as an adult means helping out. You may be doing this already.
You would have more freedom to socialize- with less questions asked. If you were planning to come home, and changed your mind and stayed on campus, I would expect the courtesy of a text or call to let me know. There may be a romantic interest, but you would need to consider our house rules. I don’t know what rules your parents have, but in their house, it’s their rules.
In a nutshell- I would expect a college age child living at home to be an adult in my house- not quite a parent, but not a child. I would try to replicate as similarly as possible, the freedoms and responsibilities of peers the same age so that this growth is also replicated.
If your mom takes care of some things like cooking and laundry- that might be nice, but it doesn’t help you in the long run- so if she won’t stop, you need to take this on yourself. Sure, many moms- including me- will do these on occasion- when a child visits, but when kids are away- they should manage on their own- and it is important that they learn to do this. Your mom also needs to learn to let go. This can be done if you both are mindful of this, and also if it is temporary. You need to leave home at some point and both of you have to prepare for this.</p>

<p>Let me start by saying you will hate driving from Maple Valley to Montlake everyday. And if you’ve grown up in the area (which it sounds like you have) you know you can go from being on track to be early for something one minute, and stuck in a 6-mile traffic jam the next, pretty much regardless of the time of day. What will you do if you miss a class because your long commute hits a big snag?
I understand where you’re coming from with wanting to stay with your family, and yes it would be cheaper, but I think the quality of your college experience would be seriously affected by your living at home and commuting. You’ll miss out on a lot, and UW has so many opportunities outside of class hours that I think you’d regret it.
Good luck in making your decision!</p>

<p>Thanks for the replies! </p>

<p>First off, I have mentioned how much it would cost to take out loans, if I were to dorm. Essentially, I would pull out less than $4,000 in loans per year. Would that be a smart move if you were in my situation? I would have leftover money, in which I can do something else. Would love to hear some insight on that! </p>

<p>Secondly, my parents openly want me to stay at home and commute, last year, it was really hard to convince them that I wanted to dorm (they openly allowed me to, but emotionally, they did not want to). I guess they are open mainly because majority of the kids and even our neighbor had their children commute to the University all years, which made them immediately think that I should do the same. But again, they never stopped me, and were open with my decision, and even to this point, they asked me “do you really want to dorm again?” but that was about it.</p>

<p>As for freedom, I always worked once I turned 15, so I had bought my own car, pay for gas, insurance, and pay for our families phone and cable bills. That being said, I never had any curfew, I really have the freedom to come as I will and leave when I have to, as I have my very own car accessible for me. </p>

<p>As for commuting, I am realizing, I would essentially bus to campus. Our University provides free bus rides anywhere around Seattle, and so I would not pay a single dime for bus fares and such (I would essentially be saving more money). </p>

<p>Would love to hear more insight on this! </p>

<p>Also financially, would the idea of applying for more scholarships be a smarter idea? It just popped into mind, but at this time of the year, and being a rising sophomore, are there many scholarships still available? School does start back up on September 24th, so I can apply to as many scholarships… does anyone have any advice/tips on applying for those as well? </p>

<p>Thanks! </p>

<p>My guess, although I am not certain, but scholarship applications are early and late- before school funds are usually gone by this time of year. </p>

<p>I have another idea. Dorms are costly and so it a meal plan. Many students live off campus. Housing costs are very high in Seattle. Most students want their own room, but do you have any friends off campus who might let you room with them part of the time and charge you a small rent fee? The person sharing the room with you might like getting a break on the rent, and also would know he had the room to himself part of the time. </p>

<p>You would get the benefit of both worlds- a place to stay to get a break from the commute, do stuff on campus without the full cost of the dorm.</p>

<p>You wouldn’t need much more than some sort of folding bed, bedding, towels, and you could keep a few things to wear there. </p>

<p>Kind of a crazy idea but might be doable. </p>

<p>I see at least 3 issues in play. The trade-off about saving money versus living at home is purely a personal choice (assuming dorms can be paid for in a reasonable way) … and when I read your post it seems you have an obvious preference for living at home … and that is very reasonable position to take.</p>

<p>However, to me, there is a 3rd issue that works in the other direction. That is a LONG commute … something like 2-3 hours a day in the car. From your post is doesn’t sound like the time in the car would kill your social life on campus … but it may do a number on your social life and studying at home. That is 10-15 hours lost out of your week … that could be used for more useful purposes … and longs commutes tend to sap energy. This is the issues that concerns me about your choice.</p>

<p>If you lived 15 minutes from campus it seems like a no brainer … at that level of commuting it’s a tougher choice to stay at home.</p>

<p>(PS - could you set up a schedule so you don’t have drive in every day … like a MWF class schedule?)</p>

<p>If you want to improve your social life and your independence, which you alluded to earlier in the thread, I think it makes sense to stay in the dorm. I don’t think it’s an outrageous amount to borrow to do so.</p>

<p>I actually was considering living in an apartment/house few minutes away from campus, but when I officially started to look at listings (around mid-March) it was pretty much too late, as the apartments and houses left available were either too pricey, or too far (requiring to use transportation services, essentially making it commuting).</p>

<p>Additionally, having dormed this past year, I guess my emotions are feeling similar to last summer, when I kind of felt a bit sad about going away from my family, and leaving my room. Though, I eventually solved that by visiting my family on the weekends by busing back down to Maple Valley. </p>

<p>I have been working as an engineering intern this summer, but have been using that money to solely pay off for my parents home bills, as my mother no longer works as she has developed problems with her knees that makes it hard to do basic tasks for long periods of times. </p>

<p>I guess to conclude my question, it really comes down to financials, and if it makes sense to pull out various loans to live on campus, or if I should just commute to campus, and instead use the leftover money per quarter to pay off my current loans I had taken out. </p>

<p>Unless there are scholarships that do exist during this time of the year, meant for students who are in college already, I can look into applying for those. </p>

<p>I would live in a dorm if you can possibly do it. You need to become your own person. If you want to visit home, go ahead. But you will get to meet more people/get involve with more activities/become independent if you live on campus.</p>

<p>For the money comparison, how much would commuting be (either car costs like fuel, tolls, insurance, maintenance, and parking, or public transit costs)?</p>

<p>Driving an hour or more each way, with unpredictable traffic, seems like a pretty miserable commute. Especially if you have to leave extra early on test days to avoid being late to tests due to unexpected traffic jams. Public transit may be a better option if it is not that much longer, since you can read, sleep, or study while riding, although it is a bus, that still has the risk of getting delayed in traffic jams.</p>

<p>However, extra debt is not desirable either.</p>

<p>If you commute, you may want to select class times that do not require you to commute during the worst traffic times. However, this can make it harder to get desired classes, since that excludes unpopular-with-students 8am or 9am classes that are often easier to get.</p>

<p>Whatever you decide, you may want to keep an eye out for cheaper housing near the school for the winter and spring quarter and the following year. Some space may open up in the winter or spring due to those who graduate after fall or winter quarter.</p>

<p>Hi there! I am an incoming UW freshman who was also thinking about whether to commute or dorm. From a financial standpoint, it would technically make more sense to stay at home, but keep in mind that Maple Valley is kind of far from the U District, especially if you’re trying to get to school and back during rush hour. I don’t know if the time and gas money you spent would be worth it, since you could theoretically work a part-time job or take another class with the hours you’d be saving each week. </p>

<p>It is pretty expensive to live on campus, but compared to the rest of Seattle it’s still a fairly good deal (except for the meal plans, I think you get gouged on those). Your best bet if you want to live on campus would be to get a room on North Campus. Triples are the cheapest, but if you want to focus on your studies, I don’t know if I’d recommend it since it seems a bit overwhelming! I always thought Hansee was nice because it’s mostly singles and has the homiest environment. Or you could sublet a room, which would hopefully cheapen the cost but also factor in living with people you might not know that well…</p>

<p>Would it be possible for you to finish up your classes on Thursday or early Friday so that you’d be able to go home every weekend? That way, you’ll never feel like you’ve left home for long and will have an incentive to participate in all the clubs and activities on campus. </p>

<p>Best of luck! Hope everything works out for you. </p>