<p>As a graduate student, I think you are better prepared to handle the roommate from hell in terms of your maturity as well as the fact that this is probably not your first time living away from home.</p>
<p>If you discuss your wants/needs with the friend prior to the decision to room together, you may find that you are not compatible in which case, you won't room together. As far as being able to "escape" to your friend's room, that could eventually become an annoyance to your friend as well as his/her roommate if it occurs too often and at inopportune times. Your own room should be your sanctuary, not somebody elses.</p>
<p>Regarding not having anyplace else to go if you and your friend don't get along, I think it's unlikely that you're not going to make any new friends. In fact, at the beginning of the freshman year, everybody tries to latch on to as many people as they can and often they remain friends throughout the years.</p>
<p>My D is French, and dead scared of being rejected as she has never lived in the US. Should she ask for another international student as a roommate (sort of learning the ropes together), or would it be smarter to find someone who would clue her in and help her with her English?</p>
<p>If I were a student I would love to have a international roommate. Of course I would probably get on her nerves asking so many questions about her home country and student life there.</p>
<p>If she's going to a school with a fair number of international students, I think she should just go random and see what happens. I doubt anyone would reject her, but if she's at a school with few international students she may feel more comfortable making a connection with one from the beginning.</p>
<p>Acinva, thanks for your honest discussion. You're right about everyone latching onto someone. I was just caught off guard that it was at an accepted students day. I guess I'll just sit back now and watch my D get closer to her new "roomie" before orientation in June when they have to put in their housing requests.</p>
<p>Thanks from the international mum for your imput. I was just brooding over some of your remarks about phone calls. With a 6 hour time gap, she is bound to get some late calls. moreover, knowing noone, her roommate might find her clingy...</p>
<p>In the end, I believe the choice is up to your kid. My son wanted to room with a friend. I wanted him to take a chance in the lottery. Although I made my concerns known, it didn't make sense for me to make the decision. He went ahead and roomed with his buddy and everything worked out fine. He is moving off campus with the same buddy and two other guys next year. He has also joined a frat and expanded his friendships significantly. My husband understood his position better than I did - he himself had a terrible roommate in his freshman year of college. I had a great roommate so that colored my view. There's no right or wrong here. Counsel regarding the risks and let the kid make the choice.</p>
<p>Having had three of my four Ds go through the experience of college roommates, I can say one thing with a reasonable amount of confidence: there is no guarantee that the roommate situation will be a good one, regardless if it's someone they know or a stranger! Go with what feels right, and hope for the best. :)</p>
<p>I would definitely room with someone I know (although I have always had singles). It's much easier to communicate with them over any issues and you don't have to worry about being with someone who you are not compatible with at all, or who has habits that really bother you.</p>
<p>I think this is a very personal choice - and would leave it up to the student. Living in a small space with a stranger is difficult. I'm all for expanding horizons, but if your child is worried about living with a stranger, why add to their stress. They will meet new people in the dorm, in class and in activities. My daughter went off to school and roommed blind. She got along with her roommate well enough - but they're not friends. Sophomore year, she decided to live with someone from h.s.</p>
<p>Another mother's son roomed with a friend- one good reason was that both are early risers, a rarity among that age group, the chances of randomly getting a roommate who doesn't keep you up/wake you... Have the students compare lifestyles.</p>
<p>When I went to school, one of my best friends and I roomed together for the first 2 years. We were the only people from our h.s. who went to that school, other than 1 girl who was a senior when we were freshmen. Maybe it was more of a girl thing, but it sure was nice to have that emotional support system being alone in a school of over 20K kids. We knew each others' strengths and weaknesses going into it, and I think we did a good job of providing support for each other. We never had any classes together (2 completely different fields of study). We each quickly met lots of other people on our dorm floor and via our classes, so I don't think our social circle was limited by already knowing each other. </p>
<p>I wish D had someone she knew (and liked) to start out rooming with. She went to CTY for 4 years, so had dorm roommates in 3-week increments over 4 summers. She had experiences that ranged from having an awesome roommate who shared almost all the same interests as her to ones that just didn't "click". She handled those situations well, so I'm sure she'll be fine. </p>
<p>H had a couple of those "roommate from hell" situations in college, though...maybe that's why it's still on my mind so much. Hopefully, the roommate process will really take into account the answers to the questions on the survey they sent out when they do the "lottery". She's in the honors program, so she'll get an honors roommate, on an honors floor....that is a good start.</p>