Roommate Dilemma! SOS! Help!

<p>I also agree with some people, how did you even find out there were black? What are their names Blacky McBlackmanwhowilleatyou or something? lol.. College is a time to learn new things; you will probably never be in an experience living with black people again in your life (judging from your attitude) so at least give it a try this once.</p>

<p>People are people wherever you go. If you are a polite, respectful person then I'm sure you'll get along fine with whoever you're rooming with.</p>

<p>I was the only white kid in my grade in high school and it never stopped me from a having a lot of close friends in my school. Frankly, it's ignorant to assume that just because your roommates are black that you guys will have problems. And why on earth did your college release that kind of info? That smacks of something odd to me. I know I may sound harsh, and maybe some of the other posters do but really it's because you have nothing to fear, only things to gain. I admit I was intimadated going to my school where there was almost not one white person in the whole place - I thought people would hate me - but all the people in the school welcomed me, black,white, latino, asian, etc. Of course, you're not going to get along with everyone you meet, perhaps even your roommates, but mostly people I know didn't get along with their roommates and they didn't blame it on the fact that their roommates were black. Good luck, and loosen up.</p>

<p>Yah, don't be a bigot. What's wrong with black people?</p>

<p>Since you seem to be stereotypical, I'll be stereotypical. Yes, black people like to be with black people, but when black people have to be with white people there is nothing wrong and you will find that you enjoy it.</p>

<p>shall i quote Avenue Q and say that, "everyone's a little bit racist?"</p>

<p>haha, not that i'm saying you are racist, but rather you are definately jumping to conclusions and being well, pre-judgemental. </p>

<p>wow. i jumped in on this thread a bit late and may be repeating, but here's my view of it.</p>

<p>as an African-American female, i have been surrounded by whites all of my life. for most of my elementary school years, my family moved into the classic "white suburbia" where i attended a practically all-white school. there were four of "us" out of a 4th-6th grade class of about 100. i took all honors courses and AP courses in high school and was often the only black person there. i have answered questions from kids about how i do my hair, the kind of food i eat, blahblahblah. some of my best friends are white or of another descent.</p>

<p>my point is, to be totally and completely honest, it is a white person's world in the majority of America. you are the majority, and it's obvious you do not realize that more often than not, blacks are in your situation. since you'd like to make this a "you" vs. "us" type thing, i'll say that "we" are the minority everday. this goes for every other minority in the U.S. i don't understand how one so young could be so closed-minded.</p>

<p>you should never, ever have to compromise your "culture" or your way of life just to please others, but often, for blacks we have to work twice as hard and do 10 times as much to be recognized by so called "white America."</p>

<p>suck it up and deal with it. chances are, you'll love them like one of your best white friends and it will be fun.</p>

<p>I think people are neglecting to acknowledge that OP has legitimate concerns. We are all going to be exposed to new things when we go off to college. Maybe one person is very religious and has anxiety about their gay roommate. Or maybe someone from a very small town is moving to a large city. We don't have any idea about OP's background, and to be so judgemental is unfair.</p>

<p>Tophatinparis88: OP is entering an environment where he will be in the minority. For you to tell him to "suck it up and deal with it" kind of negates the idea that minorities have a difficult time in certain aspects of life. You deal with being in the minority everyday...I would never tell you to suck it up.</p>

<p>OP: Try to approach the situation with an open mind. Your roommates are likely as nervous about the housing situation as you are, for whatever reasons (bathrooms, sleeping patterns, etc.). When you meet your roommates, try to find some common ground. Focus on your similarities, and learn from your differences. It sounds stupid, but really, there's nothing else you can do. There's nothing else you need to do.</p>

<p>SOS! I am rooming with 3 whites!!!! Help!</p>

<p>P.S. I am asian by the way</p>

<p>I'm Asian and most of my dorm was white. Boy, so many racist comments flying around...all in good fun, though.</p>

<p>Im black and there is no way id want to room with 3 whites.</p>

<p>sorry but no. if he/she doeant wnat to room with blacks there is nothing wrong with that.</p>

<p>what do you mean by "their lifestyle." so your saying that since they are black they live a certain way?</p>

<p>KarmaFairy: i can definately understand one being nervous--it is only natural to feel uncomfortable or worried about rooming with people of other "cultures" as the OP said. but for someone to send out an SOS and decide right off the bat that they want to switch roommates is just...well, a bit ignorant and too open to stereotypes. so with a post like that, "suck it up and deal with it" is what they need to hear. they need to give it a chance first and then if they're miserable after a semester or two, find a new roommate. </p>

<p>i'll be interested to see what he/she says months from now if they decide to give it a try. it will probably be an eye-opening experience. i can respect your opinion, however.</p>

<p>i actually think this could serve as a very promising learning experience...you can learn how to relate with others with varying characteristics...try it for a semester...seriously...ther'es no need to be Afrophobic...they're no different from you or me...if you're going to go to a large university, you'll have plenty of time to interact with white, Asian, African American ppl....you can only isolate yourself...others cannot isolate you.</p>

<p>"*</p>

<h2>Roommate Dilemma! SOS! Help! </h2>

<p>I applied for a Quad (4 rooms/4 people) in the university commons and just received a notice about who my roommates will be. All three of them are white and I am black What should I do? I think that I would be an outsider if I decide to live there because I would have trouble relating to their lifestyle. I was thinking of changing my apartment but I am not sure whether this is necessary or if it turns out to be, how to do this in a "politically correct" way. My university is addicted to that politically correct stuff."</p>

<p>Just showing you what it would look like if a black student had posted the same sentiments. Indeed, what you're describing is what happens to most black students when they attend mainstream colleges. If any were to post a sentiment like yours, many people of all races -- including black people -- would be giving them the same feedback you're getting about your post. </p>

<p>Time, my friend, to wake up. This is the real world, and most people aren't white nor are most nonwhites bizarrely different from you or out to get you.</p>

<p>The college is offering you a wonderful opportunity to get to know some people of another race. Take advantage of it.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I have no idea what you think of as the black culture, but it's time for you to learn that whatever you think exists doesn't.</p>

<p>I am black, an Ivy grad, grew up in a town in which blacks were less than 1% of the population. When I went to college, I had played violin for 6 years and was in a college orchestra, had played piano for 12 years and was playing concertos, and my other main activity was reading.</p>

<p>My husband grew up in the ghetto of a major city and was first generation college. In h.s., he had been VP of his senior class (in a predominantly white competitive public h.s.), president of a few other clubs including the local Youth for Christ one, sung in a religious singing group and was valedictorian.</p>

<p>Our older S is a punk rocker, writer and libertarian. Younger S loves world music, computer games and is considering becoming a physicist. Neither is an athlete.</p>

<p>Both sons have friends of all races and might have problems rooming with you only because of the obvious narrowness of your mind.</p>

<p>I hope you'll open your mind as you enter your assigned room.
And do remember, that if you need to be around white people, you can always make a point of sitting at one of the many white tables during mealtimes. As you'll notice, whites at mainstream colleges seem to have a habit of self segregating.</p>

<p>(You probably don't realize this, but research has demonstrated that at mainstream colleges, white students socialize in far more segregated groups than do black students. White people notice when blacks happen to sit together, but don't notice that most whites are sitting together. They also don't notice when -- as occurs frequently -- there is one black student at a table filled with white students).</p>

<p>Sounds like your biggest problem is self-imposed - re:your post #8 - in planning to sit in front of your computer all day.....why didn't you just apply for a single if you wanted to be a hermit??</p>

<p>Jeez - get off your butt and out in your dorm - meet people - make an effort to do things that don't involve sitting all day in front of a computer - make friends who actually speak in real time. Sounds like your roommates could be the best thing that happens to you - no matter the color of their skin - you'll be forced to interact with living, breathing humans for a change.</p>

<p>did you actually meet your roommates yet, or how do you know they are african american? if you want to switch, switch, if not relax being in a quad is cool since you meet more people!</p>

<p>
[QUOTE]
shall i quote Avenue Q and say that, "everyone's a little bit racist?"

[/QUOTE]
</p>

<p>LOL I prefer "All stereotypes are true"</p>

<p>Look at this as an opportunity - a lot of people complain that there is racial self-segregation at colleges (that white kids who want to befriend everyone have trouble, because the kids of other races hang out with each other), and this is a good way to get over that.</p>

<p>"Im black and there is no way id want to room with 3 whites.</p>

<p>sorry but no. if he/she doeant wnat to room with blacks there is nothing wrong with that."</p>

<p>Congrats, black people with views like that contribute to white people with views like the OP. Views like this will never help the equality that is deserved, and you, will have only yourself to blame.</p>

<p>Oh man, this thread makes me really really mad! But not for the obvious reason. The people promoting diversity, acceptance, and are more or less bashing the poster are actualy the ones who are closed minded! You want the original poster to be "open minded" to other races, and differences, etc. BUT, have you guys realized how incredibly hypocritical that is? While you advocate the acceptance of differences, you fail to realize that the poster simply has a DIFFERENT point of view--exactly what you are supoosedly promoting in the first place. Yet, you criticize him because he dosn't agree!! He's not comfortable with three roomates of a different race, there is no rule that says he has to be--he is different than you--get over it! If he wishes to seek out other roomates, that is his right, and should not be questioned.</p>

<p>Now, before you fly off the handle about my comment, keep reading. I know my university has a one or two week grace period. If you get up to school and you don't like him or her, you have a week to change rooms, no questions asked. Therefore, I think you should try it out and try to switch later. You will probably be suprised. I am very very conservative, and attended a very very white private high school--i could very easily be stereotyped as a racist. Yet, being in a very small community with the non-white students we do have, has taught me a lot. Some of the people I got to know, and become good friends with, were far from the white kid that I am--and I would never change friends. I really realized that color does not matter, just the person. (I think it would be unusual at many schools for a white christian to be best friends with a Jew, an Indian, and an African American). So...I think if you try to get to know your new roomates, you will like them. Give it a chance, and if it really really isn't going to work, try to switch then, instead of jumping the gun.</p>

<p>Codasco, should we ignore the fact that the OP would be missing out on an important life experience? Should we ignore the fact that there are still people who are unwilling to try to relate to "other cultures" and just want to bail before even trying.<br>
The Nazis and the KKK have a different point of view - does not mean that noone should point out to them that there are alternatives to what they are doing.<br>
All the posters on this thread did was letting the OP know that before trying to change roommates as politically correctly as possible, the OP can actually room with them. At least then the OP can have a real reason for not wanting to room with blacks. A point of view based on stereotypes and "I don't think I can relate to them" is not worth a dime. I would take the opinion of the OP with more respect if he/she said she/he tried to socialize with blacks before and failed or openly said that she/he does not want to try to socialize with blacks.</p>

<p>
[quote]
You want the original poster to be "open minded" to other races, and differences, etc. BUT, have you guys realized how incredibly hypocritical that is? While you advocate the acceptance of differences, you fail to realize that the poster simply has a DIFFERENT point of view--exactly what you are supoosedly promoting in the first place.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Yup, I agree. I have sometimes heard this as a liberal vs. conservative issue and a gun-owner vs. non-gun-owner issue. It applies to many areas, but the point is the same. Those who advocate being open minded should try to be so themselves.</p>

<p>That said, the OP never said he/she has anything against African American roommates, but is concerned that he/she may not fit in. Lots of people approach new situations worrying if they'll fit in, so don't make it a big racial issue.</p>