Roommate Dilemma! SOS! Help!

<p>"That said, the OP never said he/she has anything against African American roommates, but is concerned that he/she may not fit in. Lots of people approach new situations worrying if they'll fit in, "</p>

<p>Yes, it's normal to approach a roommate situation wondering if one will fit in. THis occurs even if roomies are of the same race.</p>

<p>What IMO is not normal or open minded is trying to figure out some way to ditch roomies before even meeting them -- simply because the roommates are of a different race than one is. That is narrow minded.</p>

<p>To post a thread on this under an "SOS" head, thus acting like this is an emergency situation -- is even more narrow minded.</p>

<p>If he'd posted about the situation and had asked for suggestions about how he could best get along with roomates of a different race, that would have been an open minded way of facing the situation.</p>

<p>Meanwhile there have been plenty of posts from whites on CC who complain about blacks self segregating themselves on college campuses. This is because sometimes blacks and other minorities will sit at the same tables during meals or will want to be roommates together.</p>

<p>The OP's post is exactly why minorities do this. It can be very difficult being on a mainstream campus and constantly encountering whites who act as if a URM is some kind of alien species. </p>

<p>I have known black students whose freshman year roomies were white, and those white students acted like they were scared of the black student. The black students had had plenty of exposure to white people before, and had no qualms about rooming with black studenrts.</p>

<p>In one situation, when the white student and her parents entered the dorm room and saw the black roommate, the white family immediately left and the white student never moved into that room. </p>

<p>In another situation, without asking, the two white roomies of a black freshman moved the black student's bed into the room's closet and expected the student to sleep there. </p>

<p>In another situation, white students reported to the RA that a black student was smoking pot. The black student wasn't smoking pot but was fixing her hair with a hot comb, which causes a smoky smell.</p>

<p>In another situation, a white student said that she felt "funny" about her black roommate because the black student put lotion on her legs and arms after bathing. This is a normal habit of black people because it prevents their skin from getting an ashy cast due to dryness. It was amazing to the black student that her roommate would be put off by something like this.</p>

<p>Lets face it this is "REALITY" in the world of the idiot-box [ Television] ....<br>
99.99 % of the people posing as Crackheads on TV are black , posing as thiefs on TV are black ..... Now that doesn't depict the true world but is a 'PSEUDO-REALITY' for those who watch countless hours in front of that idiot box.</p>

<p>W00t... my tv exploded in front of my face when i was 11, and i never touched a tv since then. Never watched one too. Never.</p>

<p>SS1987, It is blaringly obvious that you did not read the whole second half of my post, or at the very least, ignored it.</p>

<p>hey, think of the positives. every person in a tight clique needs a role to play. you already have yours! "The White Girl"</p>

<p>just like with anybody else, if you're personable, that'll be a good thing.</p>

<p>Another wise post by NSM.</p>

<p>I am Sorry, Codasco, I really did not finish your entire post -- it does not change the fact that I disagree with your point of "open-minded" people being hypocritical. </p>

<p>"Some of the people I got to know, and become good friends with, were far from the white kid that I am--and I would never change friends. I really realized that color does not matter, just the person. " - I hope that you are not just talking about one or two friends who are black/latino/asian. Did you think that color mattered before you became friends with non-whites?<br>
P.S. I am not open minded, I just try to be.</p>

<p>But look, when you go out and work, you will be around all different sorts of people. You can't just change jobs because you don't want to be around black people.</p>

<p>I know where you are coming from. That black guy who wouldn't want to live with 3 white people. And I wouldn't want to live with 3 asian people. But if it happened to me, I'd accept it. Its a new way to learn and grow.</p>

<p>If he doesn't want to grow, he'll be a stumpy mind for a while, then.</p>

<p>Haha... I use lotion after bathing sometimes... oooh I'm scary. (white girl here)</p>

<p>But seriously. At my school's admit weekend I got placed in the hispanic theme house, so a lot of the kids I made friends with are of a "different culture" from myself. Many of them took Spanish in HS, spoke it at home, came from immigrant families, etc; I'm the product of generations of science PhDs and translate papers out of French at family get-togethers. But it wasn't a big deal... sure, it was kinda strange to be going around in a circle talking about our backgrounds (everyone else was Mexican, Spanish, etc., while I'm mostly Northern European), but that wasn't a big deal once we started talking about movies and music, went to the soccer game and the dance, came back and talked about religion and philosophy and whatnot [and having them not be the standard white kid -- Protestant or atheist -- definitely made that conversation more interesting than it could've been]. 'Cause then it was just a bunch of smart, interesting people talking about stuff, and it didn't matter that I was the only white kid.</p>

<p>Anyway, all I'm saying is give it a shot. People are people. And anyway, it's not like you're gonna spend <em>all</em> of your time in your dorm room, you can make friends all over the place....</p>

<p>Freshman year, Easter: my parents told me that I could invite some friends over for our annual family Easter feast. So my roomie, soon-to-be-roomie, and a friend pile into my car. Then we realize that it's a Chinese Protestant, Indian Hindu, and Jewish girl from NY heading off to the Boston atheist's parent's place for dinner. </p>

<p>We had a good laugh about that... but it was also a good time for all of us. That's one of the things I absolutely loved about my undergrad.</p>

<p>I think that threa starter is very ignorant about her surroundings. Look around.. are you just going to avoid blacks ure whole life. Are you going to turn a job down brcause there are two many blacks on your floor? You're no better than anyone else so I am deeply offended when you say that you don't think you'll be able to adjust to "their" lifestyle. I am an African-american who is going to attend Bucknell University, which is predominantly white. Do you see me complaining VITALIYTORIAN? No...because God made everyone EQUAL and I'm not a close-minded snob like you are.</p>

<p>i just think that sometimes people are intimidated by black people. they tend to be more outspoken about their racial pride (am i wrong?)</p>

<p>We have to be outspoken about our pride because white people have given us the impression that our skin color is a disease and a handicap and not a privilege. That's why. And there is no problem with that.</p>

<p>on one hand, i give u (the original poster) a hand for asking a controversial question that many people might wonder themselves if in the same situation. on the other hand, it disappoints me that u, halfway thru writing the post, did not realize the answer. maybe u didn't mean to make ur post have a negative connotation, but it really does, because when you say different "lifestyle," it makes it seem like black ppl are inherently different on more levels than color. and we're not necessarily. </p>

<p>i agree w/ other posters that minority students (like me) will most likely have a roommate (or roommates) of different color. you shouldn't be scared to live with 3 ppl who are black. u can't assume that they like different music, speak differently, or think differently. thats not black people. its just ppl. and whoever said different is bad? color differences don't always mean you're from different worlds. it just means your skin color is a bit different. i think u'll be fine. u'll be surprised @ how similar --- well--- everyone is. we're all human.</p>

<p>You just have to take the time to get to know you roomatees and not rely on stereotypes. How did you know they were black or did you based your assumption off of their names? That would be extrememly shallow.</p>

<p>Don't colleges normally take some factors into consideration when creating rooming assignments? You probably have much more in common with your roomies than you expected, OR you accidentally told them you are black. I'm sure a couple calls to your roomies will ease your concern.</p>

<p>But in the end, if you are still concerned, SWITCH ROOMS. After all you won't be starting off on the right foot if you're unhappy about your situation. You don't want to be in a situation where you're dreading school and want summer to come as quickly as possible after all that $$, time, effort you're putting in.</p>

<p>haha you know at most schools, the RA makes the roommate assignments. they mustve made that assignment over a few drinks haha. or maybe they thought that you sounded really conservative and you needed to be placed in a situation where you would be forced to have a new perspective.</p>

<p>are u saying blacks are always liberal ?</p>

<p>He's not saying that. He's just saying that a conservative (hate to use that word, his - not mine) person might be a little more open-minded after hanging out with people who are not upper-middle-class-suburban-white.</p>

<p>oh.. okay.. He scared me for a moment. :)</p>