<p>Thanks for the help everyone!</p>
<p>…Oh jeez.</p>
<p>Harvard!! pick Harvard.</p>
<p>Everyone knows Harvard. It’s in the movies and glamorized everywhere by people. Going to Harvard is simply more impressive.</p>
<p>OK I hate to say this on the Harvard forum but there are people who don’t like it there.</p>
<p>My sister went to Harvard. And to this date she wonders why she did - she feels like it was too much of a challenge. Not the academics, just the environment, the city, the size, the go-getterness required of the students. Just this weekend we talked about it.</p>
<p>It was 25 years ago. But still. Harvard isn’t alway best for everyone.</p>
<p>Harvard’s just a stepping-stone, not a p53…</p>
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<p>No you don’t hate to say this on the Harvard forum. You love to say this on the Harvard forum. You say it every chance you get. Same old tired story about some relative of yours who didn’t like the place 25 years ago. I’ve seen it from you here over a dozen times. Sorry she hasn’t gotten over it 25 years later. I know two people in the last five years who disliked Princeton so much that they dropped out. Much more recent experience. I don’t go posting about it on the Princeton board. I treat it as an anomaly and still think Princeton is a fine school. You used to use Byerly as an excuse for coming over here, but he hasn’t been on these boards in over a year. You love Princeton and think it’s better than Harvard. We get it. Give it a rest already. Or just peddle it on the Princeton board if you must.</p>
<p>lol whatever happened to Byerly? He was quite the character.</p>
<p>cosar: Alumother is one of the most articulate and balanced parent posters on these boards. When she thinks Harvard is the right choice for a student, she doesn’t hesitate to say so. Check her recent posts. Back off.</p>
<p>Perhaps my post was a little inflammatory. But I literally burst out laughing when I read the first line of Alumom’s post. Balanced? I’ve never seen it, at least not when it comes to Harvard. But I’ve seen plenty of Princeton boosting/Harvard bashing posts from her over the years. And the only times I’ve ever seen her “recommend” Harvard is with a backhanded swipe like “If you’re a shark, you’ll love swimming with the other sharks there.” I think her view of Harvard is misinformed and distorted, and I think she does us all, and herself, a disservice by constantly repeating that view.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, to give her the benefit of the doubt, I did as you suggested - not the “back off” part, but the “check her recent posts” part. 
Here are the comments I have found from her on Harvard just in the last month (in addition to the one in this thread). Trust me, there are many, many more in the same vein from her going back to the time I first joined this board.</p>
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<p>(That post prompted the following reply from coureur, who truly is one of the most articulate and balanced parent posters on these boards: “Alumother, Thank you for your anecdotes from long ago that you have repeated many times, but perhaps you would like to update your stereotypes with input from CURRENT Harvard people.” Coureur is definitely more measured than I am!)</p>
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<p>Sunglasses and I met him in person a year or two ago. Fun times, hope he’s doing well.</p>
<p>cosar: It was the incendiary tone of your post #27 that disturbed me the most. As for the substance of Alumother’s posts about Harvard, we will have to agree to disagree. I think her observations in the posts you’ve quoted are interesting and valuable, and she has helped me backchannel, too.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, it’s my son who needs the help, not me! It’s May 1, and he still hasn’t decided. (Princeton isn’t in the picture, BTW. It’s between H and Y.)</p>
<p>Yes, I’ve acknowledged the inflammatory tone of my post. Though you were a bit harsh too - I don’t think I’ve ever been told to “back off” before, on the internet or irl. :)</p>
<p>By way of explanation, though not justification, there is a history here. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Alumother post her story about her brother’s and/or sister’s bad experience at Harvard 25 years ago and her resulting distorted view that Harvard is hyper-competitive and like “swimming with the sharks.” And she always makes sure to post that story and view multiple times during April when students are deciding between schools (as well as at other times throughout the year). I think she’s wrong and I think just about everyone here who goes to, went to or has kids at Harvard thinks she’s wrong. But she persists in repeating it over and over anyway. Usually I just ignore her, but there was something about that “I hate to say this” opening in her post in this thread that pushed me over. In any event, I apologize to the OP for diverting this thread, and will try to go back to ignoring Alu’s silliness.</p>
<p>As for the choice between Harvard and Yale, I can’t help you there. I attended both (and have friends and family members who have attended each), and I love them both. I will say that, for all the school rivalry between them, I think they are extremely similar schools - in terms of structure, faculty, resources, activities, student body, housing, you name it. Your son can’t go wrong, so he should just find a reason to choose one and not look back. If he visited the two schools, maybe he felt more comfortable at one. Or maybe he prefers one location to the other (there I’d cast my vote with Cambridge/Boston, but I’m not a New Haven-basher - I actually liked the city when I lived there). Honestly, a coin flip would be as good a way to choose as any, but I think it will be better if he feels he’s chosen for a reason. Whichever way he chooses, he won’t be sorry for the choice, so he should just find that reason and go forward.</p>
<p><a href=“there%20I’d%20cast%20my%20vote%20with%20Cambridge/Boston,%20but%20I’m%20not%20a%20New%20Haven-basher%20-%20I%20actually%20liked%20the%20city%20when%20I%20lived%20there”>quote</a>
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<p>I lol’d hard just now.</p>
<p>OK let’s be clear and truthful here. I have told this story a few times. Not that often. I never used the word hyper-competitive. I have absolutely recommended Harvard for some kids. </p>
<p>I think if you read my posts over the years you will never ever see me use incendiary language unless, and this is the caveat, I am attacked. Please don’t attack me. It’s not necessary. I responded to someone saying that Harvard is ALWAYS the right place. That’s not correct. It is the right place 80% of the time. Most of the kids who would not be happy there don’t apply, or choose not to attend.</p>
<p>I was addressing a comment to help the kids on the margin who wouldn’t be happy there and might be swayed by the great brand and astonishing resources that make Harvard so great for so many kids.</p>
<p>I also try to be balanced in my presentation of Princeton. I acknowledge that there is some truth behind the Princeton “myths” - it is more conservative, the eating clubs do have an influence, it is in a wealthy suburb, etc. The reality is that there is such thing as institutional cultures. Cultures are not uniform as manifested in the individuals who make up the institutions. But, they exist. To deny them is not necessary and usually causes harm.</p>
<p>One more thing I would like to say. I have edited this post over and over again. But. Please don’t address me with so much personal antipathy. Uncalled for IMO. I didn’t come out gloves off calling names and saying bad things about Harvard. I did hate to bring the subject of my family and Harvard up. Precisely because of reactions like this. And pulling up all my old quotes is just an example of the kind of behavior that is painful to experience. It isn’t really about me after all these years on this board. I have personal experience. I relay it where it can be one data point among many.</p>
<p>I apologize for the rude tone of my “back off” comment, cosar.</p>
<p>Well, wjb, I confess I appreciated having you stick up for me:).</p>
<p>But maybe we can just all be friends? </p>
<p>I promise I will continue to tell the kids I think are good for Harvard that they are good for Harvard, the kids I think are wrong for Princeton they are wrong for Princeton, and the reverse as well.</p>
<p>It’s just an opinion. And it’s just the Internet.</p>
<p>Hey alu, I am still sticking up for you! I’m just apologizing to cosar for stating my position rudely. My form was poor, but I stick by the substance of what I said.</p>
<p>And I apologize to both of you for the inappropriate tone of my post 27. I will stand by the substance of my view of Alumother’s postings about Harvard, but clearly the tone and nature of my post 27 was inappropriate. And wjb, I appreciate your apology - though I hope my smiley indicated that I wasn’t really offended. I think there’s something about the anonymity of internet chat boards that leads people sometimes to be more inflammatory than they would be in real life. But I will try to behave myself better in the future.</p>