Rutgers Student Suicide

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Well ya, back when I was a freshman, of course we pull pranks. When I think of pranks, I think of “hiding in the person’s closet and then jumping out when the person walks in,” or “putting sarin wrap on the toilet,” or “setting someone’s homepage or background picture to lemonparty.” I must say, changing someone’s homepage to lemonparty never gets old. I just love the “OHHH MYYY GODDDD, who would do this???” reactions.</p>

<p>But however, none of us ever try to broadcast/record/livestream/use a webcam to send a feed (or whatever term people are using to try to exculpate Molly) when the roommate is getting intimate with another person in HIS room. If I may, I will like to insert the Harold and Kumar Escapes from Guantanamo Bay’s quote of “Look chief, I am not here to argue seblantics with you, okay?” Yes, some might argue “But…but…but…it’s also Dharun’s room. Privacy is not expected in a shared room.” Well, Clementi did asked if he can have the room for himself (thus saying “hey dude, can I have some privacy from <em>__pm to _</em>_pm”)</p>

<p>And of course, you would make all the judgment calls all you want because this didn’t happen to you. Let me ask you this, how would you like it if I set up a webcam and broadcast/livestream/whatever verb used you when you are getting intimate with someone in YOUR room (which you have expected privacy)? Haha, it’s just a prank that dumb freshmen do right??? I doubt you will think that when someone records you and someone else getting intimate. But of course, it’s funny when it happens to someone else right? </p>

<p>And yes, as some people have said (both on this forum and people from Rutgers), this would not have happened if Clementi was with a chick. Do you really think Dharun would get all excited and tweet about how he saw his roommate make out with someone if that someone has a vagina?</p>

<p>And for demonizing Dharun and Molly, obviously comments like “I hope Dharun get raped in prison by black guys” or facebook groups like “Molly Wei loves fried rice…but too bad they don’t have those in prison” are definitely idiotic and shows the utmost immaturity. However, these two needs to know that actions carry consequences and “we are just dumb freshmen pulling pranks” is not gonna fly with the judge. I mean, in this country…people value privacy (especially those who love watching porn) so I imagine invasion of privacy charges are taken seriously. </p>

<p>It also seems like a lot of people are saying (especially Molly and Dharun’s friends) that people don’t know the real story or what really happened. Perhaps they like to enlighten us and tell us what happened…preferably with how Adrian Monk says it with the whole “Here’s what happened…” I LOVE the story that goes “Dharun was looking after his roommate. When his roommate brought a older guy over, he planted his webcam facing the 2 and livestream it. He then immediately turn it off when he saw the 2 guys making out.” That sounds like a very caring story…did the friends huddle up and brainstorm for ideas on how everything went down? Because the whole “Dharun immediately looks away when he saw his roommate kissing another guy” completely goes against his twitter post “I saw my roommate make out with a guy. YAY!”</p>

<p>Just curious for the people who thinks the punishment is too harsh, what do you think the punishment should be? Wab your finger at those 2, give them a 15 mins time out and threaten to give them a 30 mins timeout if they do it again?
For involuntary manslaughter charges, it will be hard to convict them on that.</p>

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<h2>Let me ask you this, how would you like it if I set up a webcam and broadcast/livestream/whatever verb used you when you are getting intimate with someone in YOUR room (which you have expected privacy)? Haha, it’s just a prank that dumb freshmen do right??? I doubt you will think that when someone records you and someone else getting intimate. But of course, it’s funny when it happens to someone else right? ~ Irviner</h2>

<p>If someone recorded me making out with a girl I wouldn’t care at all.</p>

<p>I guess it’s a straight male thing, we really aren’t that bashful.</p>

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<h2>Just curious for the people who thinks the punishment is too harsh, what do you think the punishment should be? Wab your finger at those 2, give them a 15 mins time out and threaten to give them a 30 mins timeout if they do it again? ~ Irviner</h2>

<p>It will most likely be a combination of a very short prison sentence in a very minimum security facility and probation. Of course, they will probably get kicked out of school too.</p>

<p>Considering they are first time offenders (as far as I know), and this was a non-violent crime with very little criminal intent, that’s probably has harsh as it will get.</p>

<p>Plus, they would be convicted felons.</p>

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<h2>When I think of pranks, I think of "hiding in the person’s closet and then jumping out when the person walks in, ~ Irviner</h2>

<p>Really? Are you 9?</p>

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<p>Nah man, I am 8…eh, 8.5 but you were close though.</p>

<p>But really though, that was just random example I thought of…the other 2 were actually performed back when I was a freshman. I do know a friend who did the “hiding in the closet thing and then coming out to scare his friend.”</p>

<p>And as much as I hate nitpicking forum etiquettes, did you really have to triple post?</p>

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<p>^ I guess you will just have to suck it up and deal with it.</p>

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<p>I think what happened to Tyler is such a tragedy, and what Ravi and Wei did was cruel and extremely wrong. However, I am curious about one thing, how can it be proven that they ‘killed’ Tyler? Not everyone who would have that type of thing happen to them would commit suicide, and what if Tyler has had ‘problems’ in the past? But like I feel about all youth suicide cases, I just wish Tyler had the extra strength and will to live, that he realised how he could turn his life around.
I haven’t come across these hate groups on FB, but that sounds terribly immature. How is the hatred for Ravi and Wei going to improve the situation? What good would come out if they died? And who are we to say somebody even ‘deserves to die’? Hate groups hardly ever bring justice.</p>

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<h2>how can it be proven that they ‘killed’ Tyler? ~ Hanana</h2>

<p>More than likely the prosecution won’t even try to press that issue and just stick to invasion of privacy charges. </p>

<p>I believe some states do have laws (very few) that can hold a person accountable for anothers suicide, but the circumstances are narrowly defined. Off the top of my head, it would apply to something like a young male being molested and then killing himself, when no other previous mental health issues were apparent.</p>

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<p>BigEastBeast, a lot of people hide in closets and do goofy stuff like that in undergrad. It doesn’t mean they are nine.</p>

<p>You’re the older married guy who is posting on a college forum anyway.</p>

<p>But to the point, of course most people generally don’t mind if someone can see them making out (though it is a bit creepy - why is someone that interested).</p>

<p>But you would obviously be uncomfortable if someone had a spy cam installed and rolling while you thought you were alone in your room, and/ or if you were about to get intimate with a girl. To pretend that you’d brush it off is laughable, because the fact is it didn’t happen to you.</p>

<p>Let’s add to the fact that a straight man ‘scoring’ with a woman is not a point of shame, but many times the opposite. A closeted homosexual having his often-persecuted sexuality (there is still a homophobic minority in this country, at least) broadcast to the world, where most likely at his age his parents don’t even know he’s gay – is obviously a different story.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t side with those two clowns.</p>

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<p>I’m not siding with anyone. I was asked a question if I’d be upset if I was secretly recorded making out with a girl, and I wouldn’t be. That’s all their was to it.</p>

<p>If you read through my posts, I have very clearly stated they should be punished. Just because I don’t want to have them publicly hanged or stoned doesn’t mean I’m siding with them.</p>

<p>You can call people “homophobic” all you want, but it doesn’t matter. Slapping a term on someone who doesn’t agree with that lifestyle doesn’t make them a bigot.</p>

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<p>Hey guys, just out of curiosity: Would you say what Ravi and Wei did was “bullying”? I came across an article (though I don’t give it much credibility since it is one of those entertainment Hollywood websites) that stated the following:</p>

<p>*In September, five teenage boys killed themselves after being physically or verbally (or both) assaulted for being gay. *</p>

<p>That first line irked me. They listed the 5 boys, including Tyler. But, he wasn’t physically or verbally assaulted by Ravi and Wei (as far as we know from news reports so far). I’m not defending no one because I still think what those two did was disgusting, but at the same time I thought that line in the article was a bit unfair =&lt;/p>

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<p>Some people are homophobic. They literally fear gays. They exist in this country.</p>

<p>Now, I don’t agree with people who smoke cigarettes. I think it’s a poor life choice. But I don’t tell them what to do, unsolicited. I don’t condemn them for it or say they are going to hell. I certainly don’t fear that they will come on to me or try to rape me.</p>

<p>Though I disagree with their smoking choice, I think they are altogether fine people. And who the hell am I to tell them what to do? They aren’t affecting me, most of the time, and I’m pretty sure they are aware of the possible consequences, so that choice is up to them.</p>

<p>I’m not going to make fun of someone for smoking or beat the hell outta someone for smoking or kick them out of the house for smoking.</p>

<p>Then again, I’m sane and some people out there are nuts.</p>

<p>And personally, I couldn’t care less about the bedroom habits of a perfect stranger. Obviously, other people are very interested.</p>

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<p>It is unfair. Ravi and Wei should be punished for what they did, but how the gay lobby hijacked this event is particularly troubling. Pretty soon, any suicide involving a gay person will be hijacked. If a gay person hangs him or herself over unpaid debts, then the debtors will be cast as homophobic. And so on. </p>

<p>It’s a dangerous precedent.</p>

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<p>I don’t mind the LGBT community using the incident to teach about tolerance and acceptance of those in the community; learning to treat those in the LGBT with respect and not making a person feel like a joke or guilty because of their orientation because it could lead to events such as self harming or suicide. Ravi did the webcam thing basically as a “hahaha, my roommate is screwing another man” thing. What is so funny about two men engaging in an intimate encounter?</p>

<p>But I’m just irked that they are using him as the poster child for gay teens who have suffered physical and verbal abuse because of this incident. As far as I know and many of us know based on news reports, there were no accounts of physical or verbal abuse involved. Emotional abuse? Yes, because by invading his privacy for jokes, they basically humiliated him. </p>

<p>But most people seem to be linking the webcam incident to the suicide and not so much to any possible underlying incidents that Tyler may have endured in the past. So anyone reading that line in the article would assume that Tyler committed suicide because he was beaten up and endured homophobic remarks from the students. =&lt;/p>

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<p>I don’t think the gay community is looking good in this.</p>

<p>People want to show sympathy for this tragedy, but it’s meant for the family of Tyler - not the gay community as a whole, which appears to be what the LBT community wants. </p>

<p>I have sympathy for Tyler’s parents and loved ones, but don’t stomp your feet and expect me to show reverencefor the whole gay community.</p>

<p>It’s sad when a group exploits the tragedy for their own benefit. For now, they should just let the parents grieve and stop exacerbating the incident.</p>

<p>If Tyler was so embarrassed about some friends/classmates finding out that he was gay that he killed himself, imagine how embarrassed he would be to know that the gay community is using him as a national poster boy for their movement. </p>

<p>The “groups” should stay out of it. Allow the family to decide how they want to proceed.</p>

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<p>That’s true. It’s the homophobia that makes you a bigot, not the slapping of the term.</p>

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<p>The gay community is looking fine in this. They aren’t looking good to people who already dislike them, aka you BigEast.</p>

<p>If a bunch of skinheads had gotten together at a school to lynch a black student, and this had happened 5 times in the past few months, the black community would be responding as well. You can bet they would react to the events. It doesn’t mean they are opportunistic vultures who were waiting for a tragedy to “push their agenda.” A provocation usually causes a reaction.</p>

<p>Here’s a great article on what to think of Ravi and Wei:
<a href=“http://kateharding.info/2010/10/06/on-good-kids-and-total-****ing-*******s/[/url]”>http://kateharding.info/2010/10/06/on-good-kids-and-total-****ing-*******s/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Here’s a good quote, but there are many (I edited the profanities):

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<p>And Tyler can’t be embarrassed about the gay community reaching out. He’s dead.</p>

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<p>^link doesn’t work. the 2nd starred word is a**hole</p>

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<p>I can’t disagree with that sentiment. </p>

<p>But, the public still doesn’t really know what led to Clementi’s suicide. If proof emerges that he has been bullied and victimized long before all this happened, then the gay community would hardly be at fault for using Clementi’s suicide as a rallying call. </p>

<p>This is a case of invasion of privacy, not a case of bullying.</p>

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<p>Just go directly to the website. It works: kateharding.info.</p>