<p>I think many of us struggle with this–when the kids were younger, we struggled with the public vs. private school issue as well. They HAD been doing OK in public school but hit some serious rough patches in middle school because of the culture. We offered both kids the opportunity to apply & attend whatever private school they wanted & got into. Both chose to switch to private school, even tho it was a financial sacrifice, we were happy that both found the setting a much better academic and social fit for THEM. </p>
<p>After the graduated HS, we did make them aware that we had limited savings devoted to their college and allowed them to choose within those parameters. We do miss the $$$$ we could have saved if they had chosen less expensive options, but we are happy that both chose the U that worked for them and we could stretch to pay.</p>
<p>The full-ride S turned down was an OOS public that just never appealed to S on many levels & he would not even visit. As he did very well where he attended and was able to graduate to a good job, we really have no complaints.</p>
<p>Fordham is great. I’d choose Fordham (Rose Hill campus) in a second. Rather than spending a night a Villanova, I’d recommend spending more time at Fordham, an overnight or a weekend. I would think Fordham would grow on you.</p>
<p>Nothing new to add here (but I will anyway). Our freshman son also chose Villanova with no merit aid over two other schools offering $12k merit per year. It was his first choice school (but never classified as the “dream” school). He knew ahead of applications the $$s he had to work with for 4 years. We all reviewed the spreadsheet of financial obligations by school, after the offers came in. He knew that if he attended our state flagship he would not have to take out any loans. We never promised him the difference, though either.</p>
<p>He (and we) felt that Villanova was the best choice for him (confirmed even more so through this school year). As parents we will sacrifice more; as the student, he’ll graduate with $26k in loans. This was the best decision for us. It was never about passing up the $48k in merit money and we do not look back on it with regret. But I realize that every family’s priorities and financial future is different.</p>
<p>You aren’t going to give him 80K if he chooses Fordham, are you? </p>
<p>The 80K isn’t etched in stone, kids can get sick or encounter other disasters & lose merit aid. A certain GPA needs to be maintained usually to keep merit aid. </p>
<p>A family decision and not an easy one, best of luck to you and your son in his choice!</p>
<p>MisterK #38- Re-read. And if parents are struggling with what they told the student before they applied vs. acceptance to each school w/or without any aid- well, how about the common wisdom being- “darling you can apply to all of these schools you have chosen and may be accepted too, because we are reasonably sure we can pay for you to attend them, but we expect you to only apply to schools you would really like to attend, and the final decision as to what schools you may chose from will depend on the final COA to attend. Because this is the economic reality of life my darling, and while you have no experience in the complicated cost vs value equation of every economic transaction, we do, and the final pool of schools you may consider will be decided by us since we are paying for it. So, again, only apply to schools you would like to attend, and we will let you know before you apply if we can afford them. We fully expect some schools will offer $$$ and that will also be a deciding factor.” </p>
<p>This whole notion of a college fund being the students to spend when the parents have saved it themselves for the student is hooey IMO, if 2 schools are equal and one is 80,000 less, and student applied to both, than the 80,000 difference is significant and an 18 yr old does not get to make that decision unless it is their money through inheritance- inheritance does not include parents saving for college for the kid. That is still the parents money. </p>
<p>If no money from V. - choose Fordham. Yes, take hm back and re-tour etc., but do not feel one bit guilty about cluing him in on reality- it’s our jobs as parent launching young adults.</p>
<p>MisterK #38- Re-read. And if parents are struggling with what they told the student before they applied vs. acceptance to each school w/or without any aid- well, how about the common wisdom being- “darling you can apply to all of these schools you have chosen and may be accepted too, because we are reasonably sure we can pay for you to attend them, but we expect you to only apply to schools you would really like to attend, and the final decision as to what schools you may chose from will depend on the final COA to attend. Because this is the economic reality of life my darling, and while you have no experience in the complicated cost vs value equation of every economic transaction, we do, and the final pool of schools you may consider will be decided by us since we are paying for it”. So, again, only apply to schools you would like to attend, and we will let you know before you apply if we can afford them. We fully expect some schools will offer $$$ and that will also be a deciding factor." </p>
<p>This whole notion of a college fund being the students to spend when the parents have saved it themselves for the student is hooey IMO, if 2 schools are equal and one is 80,000 less, and student applied to both, than the 80,000 difference is significant and an 18 yr old does not get to make that decision unless it is their money through inheritance- inheritance does not include parents saving for college for the kid. That is still the parents money. </p>
<p>If no money from V. - choose Fordham. Yes, take hm back and re-tour etc., but do not feel one bit guilty about cluing him in on reality- it’s our jobs as parent launching young adults.</p>