<p>"Exactly EMM1! My sister was torn between “Interior Design” and becoming a surgeon. She decided she could be a surgeon to pay the bills and have INCOME to use for interior decorating. It seems like parental malpractice not to TRY and convince your child to find something they will enjoy THAT can support them and their families in the future. "</p>
<p>If your sister was smart enough to be a surgeon, she probably was smart enough to have been financially successful as an interior decorator, and – given her passion for interior decorating – may have made even more $ from that than she has done as a surgeon.</p>
<p>"I think that most of the parents on CC are so wealthy that they don’t really NEED to think about the financial opportunities of their kids chosen field. That’s great I guess. If you’re going to support them for the rest of their lives let them major in basket-weaving, but if you’re NOT, don’t you owe it to them to point out the financial repercussions of their dreamworld? "</p>
<p>I know people who are working in low-paying dream fields who aren’t being supported by their parents. That’s because they happily live lifestyles within their means.</p>
<p>There also are people whom I’ve known who have been in lucrative fields, and have had high incomes who overspent their incomes and were relying on their parents’ largesse.</p>
<p>The real problem here may be premature pressure about career choices. Some colleges are trying to get back to the days when college was about learning and exploring interests, not a vocational school. In the recession, this may sound archaic, and it is understandable that parents, and kids, worry about future income. But I wish there was more freedom for kids to not even think this way until at least mid-way through college.</p>
<p>I asked D today what she was expecting to get out of college and her reply was “to continue learning”. No career choice, no partying, no football games - just learning. I kinda like that.</p>
<p>Of course H and I are in a financial position to give D choices and not push her into something that will make money immediately, nor will she have tremendous student loan debt when she graduates. She is lucky. When I went to school my mother was wringing her hands that I was not learning anything at college that would earn me a living. Different families-different goals and paths to those goals.</p>
<p>As an aside, my younger D has informed me that she is doing her sport now only to be able to have it on her college application because the goal is to get into the best college possible so she can get the highest paying job possible. She is 10 yo. Personalities get set early. I doubt I would be able to steer her into anything she did not want to do.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with that. In my own situation, my d did not have a “passion” for any given thing but a vague idea of a glamorous job and based on my judgment of what her expectations of life is I steered her a certain way. </p>
<p>In my experience, there are just as many people frustrated with years of under employment because they did not pick a major they provide them with easy employment. In one case, being sales help in a retail store for years after graduation and living with parents. Most people I know are not that “passionate” about their jobs, even the ones that picked whatever they wanted to major in college. </p>
<p>My son turned out to have a passion for a major, I am supporting him in the fourth year of his endeavor If he ever succeeds, which I am not confident of, he probably will be 26. We had paid for and will have to pay for all that. It is not a path I wish on any parent.</p>
<p>I think it is a misconception to characterize any particular major/field as a sure thing, whether in job availability or high pay. Things change all the time—demand, supply, technology, the economy, etc. Any of these can effect a chosen career. So it doesn’t make sense to forego a major just because it might seem less lucrative. </p>
<p>I think the one sure thing is the character of the person. A hardworking, flexible, optimistic student who loves their chosen major, no matter what it is, will find her way. It may not look exactly as expected—a drama major may not take Broadway by storm, but she will find some way to engage in her field (that’s where flexibility and optimism come in). </p>
<p>Both my kids know that they have to make their way in the world after college. They may have to work a “day job” to pursue their dreams but that’s fine. I have plenty of friends doing just that. Ironically, some of the “day jobs” are someone else’s “dream job”. But that’s the way it goes.</p>
<p>“I think it is a misconception to characterize any particular major/field as a sure thing, whether in job availability or high pay. Things change all the time—demand, supply, technology, the economy, etc. Any of these can effect a chosen career. So it doesn’t make sense to forego a major just because it might seem less lucrative.”</p>
<p>There are no sure things in life, but one can certainly increase the likelihood of success. The summer employment situation of my three children illustrates this point. In this miserable market, each had multiple job offers (yay!). Two are lifeguards–the classic example of acquiring a marketable skill. Despite pretty mediocre grades, the third has a job with a market research firm that has the possibility of leading to permanent employment on graduation. Two of the reasons given for hiring him in the interview: that he is an economics major, and that he has expertise in the statistical program used by the company.</p>
<p>In his book “Stumbling on Happiness,” Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert noted that people often fail at choosing a career that they end up loving because they think they will be the same people (with the same likes/dislikes/needs, etc.) at age 30, 40, 50 as they were at age 18 or 20, when they were choosing that career.</p>
<p>What seems like adequate earnings potential to an 18-year-old might not be to a 28-year-old who wants to be able to work part-time and stay home with a child. What sounds appealling to a 20-year-old – lots of travel, night and weekend hours – probably will be less appealling to that same person (with a spouse and kids) at age 40.</p>
<p>I guess I’m one of the few who actually wants to do an engineering degree. Science has always been my highest interests, besides video games(lol), and math has been pretty easy to me despite having some of the most miserable old hags teaching it to me. The pay will be cool, but I’m doing it because it’s something that interests me and if I should find that the schooling is too grueling, I’ll do a chemistry major or do something pharmaceutical. That’s not to say I will give up easily, but I love how my parents are backing my choices as opposed to trying to push anything upon me. I can’t even express how awesome the feeling is of having my parents support me in any choice I make. :)</p>
<p>I am struggling with how to advise my son about his interests. His only passion is sports, and he is good at math and analytics. (He too would love to be on the desk at ESPN but realizes it is a long shot.) I think he would be good in finance, so I suggested that to him and he’s following my advice since he has no other ideas. But college may help him with that. But there’s another issue of what classes are like versus doing the work. </p>
<p>A story about my brother in law illustrates that point. He started as an engineering major. But he found the biology classes more interesting and graduated in biology. He used that degree to work in clinical research at a pharmaceutical company for 20+ years, has a very good job and been miserable for almost all of those 20 years. He now realizes that while the engineering classes were boring, he doesn’t really like working with people very much and probably would have liked the engineering work better.</p>
<p>My father didn’t approve of coeducation so I wasn’t allowed to apply to any. It actually worked out fine, went to a womens college (like every other woman in my extended family ) and loved it. I wouldn’t put that sort of restriction on my kids, exactly, but we have put certain parameters on where they can apply.</p>
<p>Munchkin, you’re a joykill you know that. How many 26 yrs. old do you know who are “successful”? I sense you want immediate pay offs from your kids.</p>
<p>Me too! I used to think my mom was apathetic about the whole college thing. But now, I realize how supportive she is. The more I read on here about parents, the more I’m glad my mom is my mom. If I had it any other way, well, we would NOT get along.</p>
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<p>I think the larger issue here is whether parents have raised their teenagers to be responsible for their own life decisions or whether the parents feel the need to control the first major decision of their teenager’s life.</p>
<p>Don’t know what prompted the name calling. You think being supported by your parents till you are 26 or 30 is a right ? ? Having them postponing retirement for you ?</p>
<p>What a luxury these parents have!! I am so envious. I don’t care what my kids take as a major in college. I just want the OUT in 4 years with a degree and their head on their shoulders, alive and not a lost soul. That is where I am. Accounting, engineering, premed, indeed!! Ha, I feel lucky my aren’t in a homeless shelter, rehab or jail at times.</p>
<p>^I have you beat. There were times I feel lucky one of mine is not into drugs and OD like one of his good friends or commit suicide like another kid I know. I am happy and proud he is resilient despite some handicaps.</p>
<p>Two of my siblings and I had college degrees and jobs before the age of 26. By then, two of us had already bought homes. My parents never provided us with a safety net - none of us moved back home after college nor did we ask for money. We started school with majors that we chose right out of high school just like everyone else. We changed majors 1-2 times as we learned more about ourselves. Still, we managed to finish in 4-5 yrs. I had to work to pay for my last yr. Eventually, we earned advanced degrees and teaching credentials.
My youngest sibling - 10 yrs my jr. had a different experience. Our parents were older by then and had a lot more money (with only one child left at home!) He didn’t feel the need to grow up right away - dawdled in college and dropped out w/one class left. My parents were clueless (or burned out by then). Now, in his 30’s, he’s finally finding his way financially.<br>
Lessons learned, parents should provide the ground rules and not just act as the safety net. My S wants to major in music and I’ve encouraged him to look at a minor or major that would complement music (and also make him more more marketable.) I wouldn’t want to discourage him from pursuing his passion but he also needs to know the reality of surviving after college!</p>
If he ever succeeds, which I am not confident of, he probably will be 26. We had paid for and will have to pay for all that. It is not a path I wish on any parent.</p>
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