<p>I admit I am a worrier. My friends think I am crazy but I poured over the safety records for each college that our D considered and then called the local police dept to get stats for the area surrounding the campus. Am I the only person who did this?</p>
<p>Probably not. But seriously, don't alcohol-related issues dwarf all other campus safety issues combined? Perhaps that's why comparatively few parents check.</p>
<p>Common sense is the best defense our D's will have regarding safety on and around the campus they end up attending. Not going places alone at night, keeping their eyes open, and staying away from "problem" areas are the keys. When I was in college a billion years ago, there were some on-campus rapes while I was there....and this was in the middle of cornfields in the midwest...it's not a new problem, and it's a potential problem anywhere. Regardless of where they go, it's a life lesson hopefully they've listened to...to keep their eyes and ears open, and be smart....</p>
<p>Here is a website you might be interested in:
<a href="http://www.securityoncampus.org%5B/url%5D">www.securityoncampus.org</a>
You can click on the link to crime statistics on the left, and search under specific colleges.</p>
<p>The numbers are often very hard to compare because some schools handle many things internally, while other schools report everything to the police. Overall, common sense is the most important tool for staying safe in any environment--make sure your kid knows how to act. Someone without common sense or street smarts in a small town can get into more trouble than a more cautious student in the middle of a city.</p>
<p>True - as someone pointed out in a thread a month or two back, there can be big variations in how schools 'handle' things like underage drinking. And there are probably many crimes that never get reported in the first place.</p>
<p>Note my screen name? I chose it for a reason! ;) I really worried about DD when she started college, because I AM the safety officer. I think the first words my kids learned to say were "be careful." I do worry a lot about safety, about DD walking home at 2 a.m., about possible break-ins, muggings, etc. But I've finally come to realize that worrying about her doesn't help, and if fact, might hinder her ability to enjoy life and and forge ahead with things. I've taught her safety tips - she knows not to walk home drunk, to drive with the doors locked, to be aware of her surroundings. So now, I'm working on my own reactions, and I've finally started to feel less anxious about her safety. People do get hurt and mugged and raped, but most of them don't - and I don't want to spend my life worrying about the "what might be".</p>
<p>Haha, my mom still does stuff like that, and I'm out of college. :) Any tips on getting a mom to relax -- especially when she's 800 miles away and worrying won't change anything?</p>
<p>there used to be a site, I think gone now, that showed crime in the blocks around the colleges, which I found helpful (ie excuse to fret like anxiousmom)</p>
<p>when I looked at the nationally reported crime stats I found that some small LAC in the middle of the woods had higer arrests on and off campus than some national universities with 25-30k students in an urban area.
I assume this means Big U is fudging the data, or Little LAC is cracking down on drinking/drugs.</p>
<p>I am also a mom that tends to worry "too much". I did check the security info and tried to learn about the areas. The odd thing was I found some disturbing info about the college in my own town, and I have never considered the area "unsafe" at all. So that enabled me to realize that no school is ghoing to have a completely clean record. Put thousands of young adults together, too much alchohol, etc, and there will be some problems.
A large factor for us was to visit the schools several times and have my daughter really try to imagine if she felt safe there. She is a bit of a "chicken", probably becuase of me, so she does take the steps to be safe. I like that she is in a co-ed dorm, so she can ask a male neighbor to walk her to her car if it is dark, etc. They have to be aware, be smart, and they will hopefully be fine.</p>
<p>molliebatmit - My own mother told me that she worried about me until the day I got married. Then she felt that she could stop worrying because somebody else would be there to worry about me. So you are almost to that point- maybe your own mom can relax a little then as well!</p>
<p>Find a good course in self-defence, that includes discussion about behavior as well as the physical aspects. That, and common sense, are the best preparation you can give your D.</p>
<p>But at what point do you stop checking? If they get a co-op or an internship and it's in a "dangerous" neighborhood, then what? How about their first job or first apartment? I bet almost any campus is safer than living someplace else (especially when you take driving out of the picture! lol).</p>
<p>Of course that's from someone who feels like she's playing Pak Man getting in and out of work every day. (I work in a not-very-safe place.)</p>
<p>I was not worried about drinking, more about are they happy drunks or fighting drunks? I looked at weapon violations, domestic violence calls, rape charges. One officer told me that the area around 1 school had been very high crime, but that the city had begun a revitalization effortfor the area which included extra patrols, and that things had calmed down a great deal in the past few years. Our D will not be taking a car and I wanted to reassure myself that when walking with friends off campus they were reasonably safe.</p>
<p>There are other aspects of safety besides crime. </p>
<p>I know of four student deaths in the past three years at my alma mater, Cornell. One student committed suicide. Another died of alcohol poisoning (while visiting a friend at the University of Virginia during Cornell's Spring Break); when he passed out, his friends simply dumped him in a bed to "sleep it off" -- he was found dead there the next morning. A third died in a fire in the house he lived in off campus. The fourth was found dead in the bottom of one of Cornell's infamous gorges -- and circumstances suggested that the death was an accident (perhaps with alcohol involved) rather than a suicide.</p>
<p>None of these deaths involved crime, yet each suggests the need for certain types of awareness and preventive measures, namely 1) awareness of depression and the warning signs of suicide; 2) the understanding that a person who "passes out" after drinking alcoholic beverages needs medical attention; 3) careful scrutiny of the safety aspects of off-campus housing; and 4) the realization that driving is not the only situation in which an intoxicated person may be in physical danger.</p>
<p>I'm not saying that crime isn't a problem, too. It is. One of my kids is at a college where awareness of crime is high (the University of Maryland at College Park, which is surrounded by a not-so-nice neighborhood). But in fact the only crime that has personally affected him is bicycle theft (three times!). I worry more about other aspects of his safety (like the time he accidentally took a double dose of a prescription medicine -- he took the second dose because he forgot he had already taken a dose -- and he didn't bother trying to find out whether this was dangerous until the next day!)</p>
<p>Some people are born worriers and that is perfectly okay. And it is not unreasonable to look at crime statistics of colleges your D is thinking of attending.</p>
<p>I would just encourage you to put any crime statistics into some perspective. In almost every instance it will involve a very small %age of students and that in some(many) cases involving person-on-person crimes it involves less than ideal personal behavior. Almost all campuses are extremely safe for careful students and for students not involved in suspect behavior(think binge drinking, illegal drug use or association with those who do).</p>
<p>Our son lives off campus in an area which could be considered "seedy". But it is quite safe because a vast majority of the residents are also students with many being graduate students. Outside apperances often do not tell the story.</p>
<p>cmbmom and PA mom...........At least you have admitted that you worry and in PA moms case, "too much". My wife isn't to the point of admitting it so there is less she can do about it. Have some confidence in your kids and what you have taught them. I know it's hard but there are more productive things to do than worrying. I could get the same way if I thought about it too much. I know it happens because you love them. I know it's hard for me to think of my S going away next summer, but I have to believe that all will work out just fine.</p>
<p>You're right randc. The first few weeks I would wake up at night worrying about her, but now I find that I can get through a whole day without a worry. J/k ... sort of.
Seriously though, her cell phone has been a lifesaver for us, because she checks in to say a quick hello frequently and that helps to ease my worries.
For all of you anxious moms about to send your first one off to college - try to relax, try not to call too often ( let them lead) , and think about all of the kids at schools ( the vast majority) who have no safety type problems. It really does get better.</p>
<p>Glad to hear it PA mom. My S is leaning towards Bucknell (accepted with scholarships!) and that is the furthest school from home that he applied to. We live in Southern VA so it is about 6 hours. I find myself talking about substance free dorms, finding the right group of kids, and all the other things you want to happen. When all is said and done, I know he will make most of the right decisions because of who I know he is as a person.</p>
<p>PA mom, do your words of wisdom apply to anxious dads as well?? LOL</p>
<p>My bad - sorry dads!</p>