Hello I was wondering if you guys could give me any tips with my SAP Appeal and help with revisions.
Dear Financial Aid Office,
My name is XX and have gotten unsatisfactory sap due to the situation of me having to help my aging mother who suffers from arthritis.Being away from home was a big adjustment for the both of us with the main concern being who would help her. I live in Alabama and therefore have to travel 3 just to be able to help her and then 3 hours back in order to be able to make it back to school. My mother tried to make it on her own during these times but there are simply things she cannot do with a crippling condition and her also having to work. These factors have caused me to have to be absent from classes and therefore not have proper time to do important assignments that were not allowed to be made up in classes that were missed. And not have proper time to rest between helping my mother and classes which affected my work these past semesters
Stating this problem to my brother who lives nearby he has said that he will help her so that I can focus on school, he had no idea of what conditions had ailed her for that period of time because I was home until I moved for college and was always near to help her.
My academic plan for next semester is to have an specific agenda for each hour of the day that I do not have class and carefully plan out each assignment accordingly there for managing time wisely and not having an strenuous situation. Anytime I need to study I will go to the think center or computer lap instead of studying or doing assignments in the dorms which can sometimes be distracting. I will use all time to my advantage to improve myself and my grades.
My name is XX and have gotten unsatisfactory sap due to the my GPA falling to a 1.43 in the past 2 semesters. The situation of me having to help my mother who suffers from arthritis while being enrolled effected me and my grades negatively. Being away from home was a big adjustment for the both of us with the main concern being who would help her.
I live in Alabama and therefore have to travel a total of 6 hours to help her. My mother tried to make it on her own during the time I was gone but, there are simply things she cannot do with a crippling condition and also having to work. She wants me to continue my education at this university due to its Christian values
As a solution I have stated this problem to my brother who lives nearby. He will now help her so that I can focus on school. He previously had no idea of her condition for that period of time because I was home until I moved for college and was always near to help her.
My academic plan for next semester is :
to have an specific agenda for all of the time throughout the day that I do not have class
carefully plan out each assignment accordingly there for managing time wisely and not having an strenuous situation.
When to study I will go to the think center or computer lap instead of studying and doing assignments in the dorms which can sometimes be distracting.
If I’m having any trouble I will get proper tutoring for the subject
I thank you for your time and hope I can further my education at XX
You letter is filled with run on sentences. These are sentences where the beginning of the sentence has nothing to do with the end. In addition, you should not use abbreviations in these types of letters. SAP should be written out as Satisfactory Academic Progress…for example. Never start a sentence with the word “and”.
Your letter needs to contain three things. They need to be written succinctly and not in a rambling fashion like your letter above is written.
State what happened. Do not put in excuses or the like. State only the facts.
Tell what you have already done to address the issues that caused your lack of decent academic progress. Again, do not include excuses. Just state the facts.
State what you will continue to do, as well as anything you plan to do to prevent a repeat of your current academic performance. Just state the facts. The academic plan you have in the above letter is simply not a plan. It doesn't tell what you will be doing. It sounds wish washy. Will you seek tutoring! Will you go to professor office hours? Will you be part of study groups? How will you get the help you need?
As noted, check your grammar. For example, it’s a computer lab, not a computer lap.
"I have gotten… due to the situation of me having… " is incorrect grammar. The second attempt has a starting sentence that doesn’t make sense. I agree, , the letter needs to be clear, well written and succinct.
My name is XX and I have received Unsatisfactory Satisfactory Academic Progress resulting in Financial Aid Suspension due to the my GPA falling to a 1.43 in the past 2 semesters.Due to The situation of having to help my mother who suffers from arthritis while being enrolled effected my schoolwork negatively.As with people that have arthritis she has a very hard time walking and driving, therefore I helped in any way I could. I had to travel a total of 6 hours to help her due to this essential class time and assignments were missed.
As a solution I have stated this problem to my brother who lives nearby. He will now help her so that I can focus on school and not have to travel home frequently.
My academic plan for the following semester is :
Have an specific agenda for all of the time throughout the day that I do not have class
Carefully plan out each assignment accordingly there for managing time wisely and not having an strenuous situation.
Go to the Think Center and take advantage of the resources provided.
Partake in or form study groups for any needed assignments
Look to peers for further help in subjects
Inform professors if I have any further issues with assignments that need addressing
I thank you for your time and hope I can further my education at XX
They know your name…and it will be at the end of your letter. They also know your GPA.
How about…
I am writing this letter to appeal my financial aid suspension. I did not meet Satisfactory Academic Progress.
Fix this sentence. It doesn’t make sense. It is not a complete, grammatically correct sentence.
How about: My mother has arthritis which makes it difficult for her to drive and walk.
This should be two sentences. How about :
My home is three hours away from the college. I missed essential class time, and did not complete assignments because I was helping my parent.
Telling this to your brother is NOT a solution.
Combine the two ideas.
How about: I have discussed my mother’s health, and asked for my brother’s assistance caring for her. He has agreed to help. I will, therefore, have additional time to dedicate to my studies.
My academic plan for the following semester is :
What does this mean??
Makes no sense. Please fix.
Be specific. What sources do you plan to use?
Combine these two items.
No. You should be seeking help from your professors, not informing them that you have further issues. Believe me, if you have issues in their classes, they will know.
Try something like…Thank you for your consideration of this appeal letter. I am hopeful that I will be able to continue my education at XXX.
You may wish to revise with the help of the writing center. I think your Academic Plan should be specific and worked out in tandem with your academic advisor.
I agree. You should go to the writing center at your school. If you are home for the summer, see if you can talk to your HS English teacher. You need help with succinctly explaining your plan. You also need a lot of help with the writing part…forming clear and understandable sentences.
Also, if you can include any documentation that proves your mom’s disability and actions you took to help her might be pursuasive as attachments to your appeal.