You call to ask your son what he would like for his birthday. You no longer shop. He tells you he just bought new golf shoes. You continue to ask what he wants for his birthday.
He wants you to write a check for the golf shoes! You do this every year.
The appropriate response to me asking you to move your car out of my private driveway so my husband could get into our garage should have been âsorry, Iâll move my car,â not âthere was no parking on the street.â Thank goodness your kid was mortified and told you to move the car.
Well that dog toy lasted all of about 5 minutes. Glad I got it 50% off, but still wasnât cheap. It was supposed to be for chewers and sturdy. Dog, youâve got some teeth on you! (Iâve never known another dog that could actually peel a tennis ball).
Mom and Dad tell kid for 18 years to clean the counter after eating and do dishes in the sink. Kid does so very rarely.
Kid: One week after college starts. Kid calls to complain about the messy roommates who donât do their dishes and leave a mess on the counter. Then goes on to ask to ârentâ a vacuum so they can keep the place clean.
Our mouths are wide-open. Priceless. Just priceless.
Had to go to 4 storesâŠ4 STORESâŠtoday to find the right kind of pasta salad mix. Thank the Lord for Super Walmart.
Dear Father Unit,
You are such a self-absorbed butt hole. You & my mother were married for 39 1/2 years. Itâs been 12 years since Mom died of cancer. 3 months later, you were dating her friend, and 1 year to the day after her death, you married that woman.
I didnât know it was possible, but you found someone as self-absorbed and toxic as you are.
The fact that you perpetuate this ridiculous revisionist history is disrespectful to my mother, and to my sister and I. I mean, Replacement Wife actually had the nerve to say to your OWN DAUGHTER, âI never got to live in a new house, but your mother got 3.â This narrative youâre telling about how you learned your âsocial gracesâ from Boy Scouts and from Replacement Wife? Clearly, youâve forgotten the 39 1/2 years of constant âsocial gracesâ coaching that my mother did with youâŠand I was present for an awful lot of that. I saw it for myself with my own eyes.
Itâs been 8 years since youâve seen my kids. 8 years. My sister called you on it when she visited you these past couple of days. Youâre clearly frustrated by that, so what do you do?
You decide to snark at me about it in a text message. And you passive-aggressively ask why I havenât been to your house in 12 years. Iâm doing you a favor by not responding to that. But IF I were to respond, Iâd give you these reasons:
My kids are wonderful, amazing people. Theyâre smart, funny, perceptive, curious, loving, accepting, non-judgmental individuals. Youâve missed out on a major chunk of their childhood. You could have chosen to be involved. I invited you many times. Every time, you had excuses. One time, you promised that youâd meet up with us at the San Diego Zoo because we were all going to be in that area at the same timeâŠyou never showed up, you didnât return my calls, you never apologized.
Guess what? My kids remember that. They remember that Grandpa never showed up, that he broke a promise. They, too, think that you are a huge you-know-what.
It is only by the grace of God that I invited you and Replacement Wife to ODDâs HS graduation. And thank you, Jesus, that your wife doesnât feel welcome enough to come. Iâm relieved. She is like toxic soup.
So now you send this messed up text message which is your attempt to apologize for not coming to visit us for 8 yearsâŠbut you screw up the apology attempt by essentially saying, âI know I messed up, but you messed up more, so how come you didnât come to kiss the ring?â
Iâm done with playing your Boomer games and trying to win Boomer prizes. Iâm not answering your text message. Youâre now officially in time out. If you want to actually talk about it, dial the phone and actually call me.
I am not ever going to your house ever again. Iâm not even going to attend your funeral, ok? With the way youâve acted over the past 12 years, youâre lucky that I even communicate with you at all.
I have worked hard with my kids to try to break the cycle of passive-aggressive communication that my family of origin perpetuated. And you know what, Dad? Iâm happy to report that I have succeeded at that. My kids do not respond to passive-aggressive nonsense from people. Nor do they internalize it or assume that they did something wrongâŠnowadays, their FIRST instinct is to think, âHuh, what is wrong with that person that theyâre acting so manipulative like that?â And then they are wary of that person.
You & Replacement Wife are like those orcs in the Lord of the RingsâŠfestering in the dark deep crevices of Sauronâs lair, seeking to wreak havoc among anyone who has any joy or happiness in their lives. Iâm glad that the 2 of you are going to counseling, but clearly, none of it is workingâŠnor will it ever, because that would mean youâd have to admit that youâve made mistakes.
I have a great family. But you are really not in it anymore. And that is entirely your doing.
OhâŠand one more thingâŠbefore you come to ODDâs HS graduation, I WILL be setting boundaries w/you over the phoneâŠthere will be 1 rule: Donât trash talk my Mom. If you canât follow that rule, then donât come. You break that rule, then Iâm kicking you out. This event will be about my daughter, itâs not going to be about you. And you know what else? Mom will be there in spirit, so she will hear everything you say about her. She knows that youâve been lying about her all this time. So go and crawl back into Sauronâs caves.
Iâm tired of all the royal coverage.
Would really like to see whatâs happening to poor Puerto Rico after getting hit by Hurricane Fiona.
I just plain donât trust you. You enjoy holding what you consider to be power over H because you withhold important information from him. You say just enough to let him know that his mom is making changes to her will, but you stop short of saying what they are. H isnât biting, and neither am I. Youâve done a fine job of pushing H out of anything to do with his motherâs finances. I am pretty sure your most recent comment about how the trustee doesnât want to talk to MIL is your foray into getting him removed & a person of your choosing to replace him. You are a sneaky, conniving so-and-so. I might feel differently if you were her son, but you are her son in law. Youâve convinced her that you are the only one in the family who is capable of helping her. I fully expect you to figure out a way for you/your wife to benefit more than was originally intended. Itâs her money, but you are a snake.
Adnan is out of prison. 
Sometimes I get anxiety when I read ___ page.
Dear Father Unit,
Your silence to my invitation to come visit us speaks volumes. 24 hr now and no answer. Again. Iâm done asking. Iâm not going to ask anymore.
Iâm glad I had a week vacation in Spain, we didnât understand anything in Spanish so no TV, otherwise we would be glued to the TV in London with the Queenâs funeral. Itâs terrible to hear the news the day we arrived, I literally bring nothing but bad news when I travel. Last time it was Brexit.
Over the weekend my mom said that sheâd like to live 6 more years. She feels like her grandchildren will all be somewhat settled into their lives by then and sheâd like to be here for them until they are. Itâs sad but very sweet at the same time.
We moved into our new home about a month ago. No TV in our great room. I love that. More conversation - less news induced BS.
TV now used for its intended purpose- live sports, a movie, maybe check stock market activity.
Life is gooooood.
I found a great Airbnb and we could all be there for his birthday and he soneeds you to show up for him. This year has been so. hard.
But I am afraid to ask,because youâll have some vague sort yes answer, and when it is booked and we are on the way, youâll back out because in the end YOUR OWN SON doesnât really mean much to you. well, this one doesnât. Donât think he doesnât see it. Go ahead and tell yourselves he doesnât.
48 hrs now since I invited you again to visit. Still no answer. My kids are almost all grown up now. Youâve missed almost all of that. Thatâs your fault. You are 1 of the lousiest grandparents I have ever seen.
No more invites from me. Iâm now officially done.
OMG. Make your own jokes here.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/20/business/beyond-meat-executive-arrested-nose-bite-nightcap/index.html
I 
Pre-check!
I am not the villain and you are not the victim.
I finally decided that I will no longer put up with your nonsense.
But since you have decided to play the victim and people believe your lies, I am losing. Makes me crazy. Maybe some day, your luck will run out.