You are such an embarrassing buffoon.
You said Monday. Fine. Then changed it to Tuesday, then Friday. Then Thursday. No I am not free tonight until late.
Note to self. Donât get fuel in Oregon. I had to tell the attendant twice that it was diesel (also marked on fuel lid) before he put down the gas nozzle and got the diesel nozzle. Just caught it in time.
So sad and disappointed. Youâd think someone would remember his own son.
Suggestion for skills required before one can be considered an adult
101 'How to be a pleasant and enjoyable houseguest."
201 "How to increase your chances of being invited back...corollary...how to up the odds that your hosts won't be 'out of town' next time you plan a visit"
No!! My son is due to graduate from the American University of Beirut in December. The University closed today due to the riots. Heâs made it 26 months, only two left to go. Argh.
OCD neighbor puts mini orange cones out to bogart the free street parking in front of his house. Also carefully arranges trash cans to take up the most street space for the longest time possible. Now the neighbor across the street, in a defensive maneuver, has some mini cones out too! Stop with the cone wars people! It should be free street parking for anyone, and there are real problems out there so thereâs no need to be creating one.
Phew, so glad I donât live on that block.
Dear DHâs friend who picked him up for a race this morning: He was waiting for you. You didnt have to ring the doorbell at 5:50 AM! Arggh. Its Sunday morning!! And then got a text from someone at 6:30 am. No, just no.
I wish I could help ds2 buy a house.
How did he live with you for so long?
What happens if a University has to close during a studentâs last semester before graduation? 
If you make me respond to 6 different prompts on your telephone menu to get me to the right department, why does the wrong department pick up anyway? Now back on hold.
Just kill the prompts. Itâd save both of us a lot of aggravation.
No dear interviewer, I donât really want to return to work after 8 years of running my own business. Why do I want this job? Because I need the money, thatâs it⊠period.
I am continually miffed that I learn about the major legal wins and losses you have via a private facebook group of our friends. Iâm your sister and have a little more vested in this than your old coworkers.
Dear Dallas TV station that was broadcasting the Cowboy game. You lost viewers when you couldnât cut away from the game for the tornado on the ground. Viewers like my elderly mom who donât use social media had no idea the tornado was headed toward her area.
Shame on you!!
Tuesday is apparently âwork whinersâ day. Lose the idea that everyone else is more privileged than you at work. Time to make this a âdoor mostly shutâ day!
Honestly. I live in Bizarro-world.
Dear Canadian Revenue Authority,
Not only are you requiring us to provide the incorporation documents for the Mexican group with which we work, but you insist that we translate all 20 pages of non-cut and pasteable text into English?! Are you insane? Weâre a small nonprofit and we donât have the time and energy for this bulldookie. Youâve already made us jump through more hoops than I would ever have imagined in my most Kafka-esque nightmare. All this so that Canadians can get the tax deductions they deserve for their generous donations. GrrrrrâŠ
Sure are a lot of sourpuss/crank pots out. Friend: I called to say hello and had to listen to 15 minutes of your nonstop complaining and overall negativity before you mentioned in passing that your sonâs wife had their second child 3 weeks ago!!
I really wish you would get back into therapy because people pay me to listen to that stuff. I canât call you and listen to all the whining anymore. You donât even ask anything about me or our family. You just dump your complaints. If I ever do get a word in edgewise and ask what good is happening for you, you just grunt. Well the complaint department is closed.
Hope you have a Halloween party to attend because you have a built in drama queen Costume.
I donât think you will be working for me much longer. We just talked Monday about not blocking out your schedule without permission, and I saw today you have taken off time in April without my knowledge. Protocol is you find a sub. Drâs appt? For a whole day? Um, no, thatâs when you like to be in Florida.