Say it here cause you can't say it directly- the get it off your chest thread (Part 1)

Parents Forum Parent Cafe
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<p>Oh! Binx! You speak the truth. I just went to one yesterday...here is my rant: </p>

<p>Why did the four (yes, only 4 out of nearly 800 students) of us NMF's combined get less of a recognition than the "Outstanding PE Senior" award? </p>

<p>Why do many of the scholarships offered by my school district A) go to the same two or three athletes or B) go to kids whose PARENTS are in some PTA-esqe organization...does it occur to only me that those kids who would most need that money would have parents who are too busy WORKING to join some busy-body organization?!</p>

<p>Why do the memorial scholarships have to be sad instead of uplifting...who would want to be remembered that way?</p>

<p>Why do you call them the "Outstanding Senior Awards" if you either have to take a million classes in the department or be a teacher's favorite to get them? </p>

<p>Why does the English department award always go to to Mr. X's students...and why do you have to give a presentation that lauds HappyBot 2000's (the winner....always with a big, perky grin on her face, no matter what) writing ability and work ethic--when there are at LEAST 3 other students who are every bit as talented and hard working?! Oh wait, that's right---we didn't all have Mr. X, so I guess that means that we can't write. Also, what does HappyBot's mission trips have to do with the English award? I didn't realize it was an evangelical award!</p>

<p>Why did THOSE TWO kids get recognized for history...instead of anyone of the 10 or 15 who are a million times better at it? </p>

<p>Why did my brilliant, future physicist friend not win the AP Physics award, even though he has loved Physics since at least middle school and is fantastic at it? </p>

<p>Alright, so they got the Math, Foreign Language, and Music awards and the West Point congratulations 100% correct, but still. Not a high batting average. And don't even talk to me about HappyBot. Maybe someday she'll buy a personality!</p>

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<p>Wow, I thought that that could happen only at my kid's high school…It makes me sick to see year after year the kids whose parents are in one of the school organization getting all the awards, and those excellent students with hard working parents that can't go to the school every week, get nothing. Last year, the superintendent 's S got the best overall student award, and he never took an AP class (16 are offered), he wasn't in any National Honor Society, and he wasn't an athlete (he didn't qualify to the top ten% of the class either).</p>

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<p>I'd swear you were all at my d's honors ceremony! Everything you say is so true. </p>

<p>While I know many deserving students who should have been honored in one way or another, my heart breaks for one particular student -- born premature, her twin died, she has a glass eye, lisps, is extremely shy, has been ostracized by many for most of her school career. Her parents divorced this year, and she is moving away the day after graduation. She is brilliant, especially with languages, is graduating in the top one or two percent (she doesn't say), has a bazillion volunteer hours (but with a nursing home, not with a school activity), is the kindest, sweetest, gentlest girl I know, who would absolutely deny any right to receive any award, which is good, because she didn't. (Except for a paper for high achievement in languages -- she has the highest AP language score, and had to fight to be in the class, because she skipped 3rd year.) She has overcome enormous hurdles to get where she is, and they gave many of the awards to the two girls who were meanest to her. She sat through it all with a smile and applauded for each. She is going to a great college, says she will not miss Georgia at all and has no intention of ever coming back. I don't blame her, but we will miss her. I suspect she and my D will always be friends, because she is that kind of person.</p>

<p>My kids were uniformly ignored for any big award. Hurt most with the first one, who deserved something, and we didn't know any better. I mentioned to him recently that it will be interesting to see how things fall out at the class reunions, and he flatly told me he has no plans to ever attend one. Second son has every intention of becoming rich and famous :) and says he will someday endow a scholarship and award it to the rival high school.</p>

<p>My d sobbed all the way home, stung by being completely ignored for music. The orchestra senior award went to a girl who can barely play her instrument, but who took photos for the yearbook (none of which include my D). My D was the only senior to make All State, played in the county Honors orchestra, and won the concerto competition. The teacher has never, ever publicly acknowledged any of her accomplishments, and D has never sat higher in the school orchestra than 4th chair.</p>

<p>Bitter? nah.</p>

<p>However, I would like to thank the teachers and administrators of my D's school for helping my D to shake off any nostalgic or sad feelings about leaving high school, and helping her to look forward to getting out of Dodge.</p>

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<p>So it must be some kind of unwritten rule. Maybe the 'lazy administrators rule'. That is, give everything to the same five kids.In a class of 700-800.</p>

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<p>To our school district's PTA "clique" - it was such a nice idea to reward all parent volunteers that have helped out throughout the year with a sweet catered volunteer tea, thanks for the gorgeous invitation. So why was it scheduled for 1:30PM on a weekday, shutting out all the parents that work full-time? Was that the most convenient time for you???</p>

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<p>oh Binx --That was great! How lucky your kids are to realize that the best is yet to come! I have a feeling we'll all be hearing about the language student in years to come!!</p>

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<p>Forgot to post my rant!
To my D's freshman soccer coach:
Why oh why did you choose her for the team is you only allowed her to play less than 7 minutes total for the entire season!! Sure the other girls were great but why didn't you just tell D (and the other less-talented players) that you only wanted them to have someone to play against during practices?? She went to every practice, gave everything, couldn't you let her play a little more? I mean for god's sake it was a freshman team - they weren't going to States or anything! But, you didn't kill her love of soccer - she still wanted to try out for JV in soph year ---until the head coach promoted you to JV coach.
And by the way...don't show up wherever the girls are hanging out... they know you have accessed myspace or facebook and it's freaking them out!!</p>

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<p>Rachacha, boy, do I relate to what you said! My younger D's school unfailingly schedules lunches/teas, etc. events for parents smack in the middle of the workday. It puts those of us who are employed outside the home in a bad situation: we either have to take time off from work to go, or miss the event.</p>

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<p>My rant:</p>

<p>dear travel agent. I understand you have a stressful and demanding job; however, this is no excuse not to DO your job. Of all the trips I've ever booked through your agency, out of all the agents I've talked to, you are the only one, the ONLY one out of more than a dozen, that cannot muster basic reading comprehension skills. </p>

<p>When someone asks you whether a ticket is available, you do not go ahead with telling them you've booked it, and then wait until 2 weeks of unsuccessful attempts at trying to reach you to tell me it is not.</p>

<p>When someone asks you to make sure the flight goes to a select city and the airports closest to this city, you do not repeatedly ask what city and what airports (this is what the whole "reading the actual e-mail" thing is about. Glad I could help.)</p>

<p>I understand that clicking a button or two to find the city airport in question might seem a daunting task at times. However, I am still a little bit confused as to why the 30 minutes of research I had to do FOR you in order to find out exactly what tickets I needed, to what airport, which airport code, and with what specific airline STILL turned out insufficient for your needs to click that same "book with student loan" button your co-workers have never had any trouble with. Perhaps there is some gunk build-up underneath your mouse buttons? Perhaps even trying to click that button reminds you of some horrible childhood trauma? I don't know what exactly is going on, as you yet have to return my last e-mail, but it must be something absolutely horrifying! </p>

<p>You are the ONLY one that seems unable to respond to politeness in kind, the ONLY one that affords herself friggin' 5 business days between replies even though every single one of your co-workers could have had my ticket done and ready within two hours of brief e-mails back and forth. I mean, for this reason alone, surely you deserve an award of some sort. </p>

<p>However, what puzzles me the most is this; you may have forgotten that the very first question I approached you with involved ticket availability, only to realize the importance of this in the last one before you mysteriously disappeared. You may have forgotten to get back to my e-mails for days at a time. But how in the whole friggen world you managed to STILL book the wrong flight, is completely beyond me.</p>

<p>You amaze me. As soon as you get back to me from your hiatus of hitting that spliff again, I hope to be able to convey this amazement to you.</p>

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<p>I have to respond to the complaints about the kids of PTA parents.</p>

<p>I am the president of our school's parent council. I didn't take the job for any glory, I took it because no one else wanted it. We hold ALL our meetings at night, and only occasionally ask for volunteers for something that happens during the day - because that's when the kids are in school and the volunteers are needed! I still hear complaints from people who don't work traditional office hours and want us to hold events during the day. Or people who work Wednesdays and want us to move the meetings to another night. But when we do move the meetings, I get complaints from people who have kids in another school and they have their meetings that night... or people who have sports booster club meetings... or people who attend St Better-than-You church and have an event that night...</p>

<p>I work 25 hours per week. Correction - I get PAID for working 25 hours per week. I work a LOT of unpaid hours on Parent council stuff that benefits ALL the kids in the high school - not just my kids. There are 1500 kids in our high school, but the same dozen parents do ALL the work. And yes, most of these parents work, many of them full time, but they still manage to pitch in. I am SICK AND TIRED of people who don't show up for anything and then complain that things weren't done the way they think they should have been. If you feel that strongly about it, THEN SHOW UP AND HELP OUT. If you can't be bothered to work on anything that doesn't directly benefit YOUR kid, then shut up.</p>

<p>Sorry to be harsh, but if you really care about ALL the kids at the high school, rearrange your schedule and show up one Wednesday night. Or send me an email and ask where/when we need help. </p>

<p>By the way, as a reward for my efforts I get.... nothing. No special seating at graduation. No extra tickets for the grandparents visiting from out of state. No extra awards for my kids. My son will be an honors graduate because his GPA was in the top 5% of the class. He is in Honor Society because his GPA was high enough and he had the leadership positions needed and got the recommendations from his Scout troop leaders. Our awards day is next week; the only award the Parent Council gives out is one $250 scholarship that will NOT go to my kid because it's honoring a math teacher who died and my son does not excel at math (I have nothing to do with choosing the award recipient; the Principal and faculty council choose the recipients).</p>

<p>Again, all our meetings are at night. We only meet 4 times per year and limit meetings to 90 minutes. The highest attendence this year - 36 parents, out of 1500 kids. So I say, show up and help - or shut up.</p>

<p>That felt good....</p>

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<p>To the administration:
Just because I do my work and get good grades, don't immediately assume that I deserve every award you want to give to me! Yes, I work hard. But that doesn't mean I am the only one deserving. And worst of all is your condescending attitude about it all. I get very shy when you announce, in front of the entire class, the award, so I don't speak very much, then making you assume I am stupid and unknowing about what you are telling me. Proceeding to explain to me, in excruciating detail, on how "good" this will look on my college application is insulting to my intelligence. I know a lot more about college admissions than you ever will, due to my time on CC, so excuse me if I don't see the importance in an academic award giving me a gift certificate to a chiropractor (this really happened).</p>

<p>I feel better.</p>

252

<p>To teachers who favor 'pets'--I am angry that adults favor certain kids to the detriment of other kids. I am angry that a certain chorus teacher gives solos, even small ones, at every single chorus concert, to one girl. Admittedly she has a magnificent voice, but to continue to pass over kids who have worked hard for 3 years to give this girl yet another solo is cruel and unfair. She has stopped auditioning for solos, (I think because it's getting embarrassing) and although other kids try out, you KEEP giving them to her. You actually seek her out to do so. It's not the girl. You've done the same thing for all of the years my kids have been at the HS. Picked a student and favored them...and proceded to give them a solo in every single concert. I really feel for those kids who graduate without ever having that experience, even after making regional and all-state chorus. Many kids don't audition at all (including my D), figuring it's a waste of time. The stupidest part of all is that many of these solos are one liners that any one of the kids could handle. Why not give them to graduating seniors? What are you thinking??</p>

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<p>Expanding on a different aspect of tanyanubin's post above....</p>

<p>To a certain jazz band director --</p>

<p>It was really a great idea for you to give solos to all the graduating seniors in the final ROCKIN'! piece at the Jazz Band Concert in March. They really showed their stuff and gave it their all, every one of them. And your drummer? You know, my kid, the one they gave the "Most Improved Musician" award to this year? Did you just forget his name when you pointed out all the seniors who'd just wailed on their final song, but didn't mention him? His solo was far from forgettable. Maybe you just took his solid beats for granted? He felt snubbed, but realized it was probably just forgetfulness in an exciting moment. All his friends noticed and in the milling about afterwards they urged him to point out to Mr. Director that he'd been overlooked. He decided not to, and to just leave with his musical statement and his joy and pride.</p>

<p>(ahhhh, I needed that)</p>

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<p>Haha -- and to our middle school band director -- love ya, but what the heck was that about -- you gave a music award to my D and several other students at the spring concert but went on and on about the great qualities the others had but said nothing at all about why my D got the award? I wasn't at the concert (had to be out of town), but heard about it from a friend. Weird, just weird. Surely you could have thought of something nice to say about my daughter (like you did about the other kids) when you gave her the award? Oh well . . .</p>

255

<p>To the teachers at the countywide magnet program my daughter attends:</p>

<p>Some of your students live a full hour's ride from school. Many live in neighborhoods that are not served by public transportation. Many are too young to drive, and some of those who do have drivers' licenses cannot afford to buy cars. For many of your students, meeting with you after school requires them to make special transportation arrangements that may cause great inconvenience to them and other members of their families. In many instances, a kid who has to miss the school bus to meet with you must wait several hours for a ride home. </p>

<p>Of course, sometimes an after-school meeting with a teacher is unavoidable. But sometimes it isn't. Meeting with you after school to discuss progress on a major project is entirely justified. Staying after school just to set up the appointment for that meeting in which the project will be discussed is ridiculous. There is a thing called e-mail. If you would allow your students to contact you by e-mail for routine things like making appointments, they would spend fewer afternoons sitting on the floor in the school lobby waiting for three or four hours until a family member can pick them up. You may not like e-mail, but they don't like sitting on the floor, either.</p>

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<p>To the Music Boosters and teachers - thank you for a wonderful awards ceremony tonight. You acknowledged every single senior with a plaque, and gave out many other awards to deserving kids as well. Yes, a few kids got multiple awards (not my son), and frankly they deserved them. </p>

<p>I'm so sorry the town has to vote next week on a property tax increase, and if it fails the town will eliminate all music and foreign language programs from the middle schools. Within 2 years this will decimate the wonderful music program at the high school, and the classes of 2011 and beyond will be unable to take 5th year AP language classes. If these programs are ever restored they will take years to rebuild. I have passed out flyers, written letters and emails and will be holding a sign in the rain. Please, for once let this cheap town do the right thing by our kids!</p>

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<p>Dear Parent,</p>

<p>Stop butting into everything. You're obnoxious.</p>

258

<p>To my Ds school, and I don't care if some of you know the school:</p>

<p>Argghh....I wish that you would not change the rules in midstream...saying club applications work one way, then we find out when its too late that what the website said and the way you have done it for years has changed, and then you just say- oppsy, not my fault</p>

<p>Someone take resonsiblity please, and if you messed up and didn't clarify the rules, do not blame the students who counted on you being straight with them, and maybe have some humility and realize you blew it and make adjustments to be fair and honorable, you expect honor from the student, you need to model that yourself</p>

<p>Oh yeah, and then you mail me a letter asking for $$</p>

<p>Yeah right</p>

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<p>It's recently occurred to me how much easier my life would be if I were privy to facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice in all my conversations. I've had enough of instant messenger, but mostly I am tired of distance. :(</p>

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<p>cameliasinensis, I know what you mean. I don't rememver the exact percentage (though I think it's somewhere around 70 percent), but I do know that I huge percentage of the communication that takes place in a conversation doesn't occur in the actual words that are spoken but rather in body language. Instant messenger is a good tool to use to stay in touch with friends, but it lacks some vital elements. For eample, it's really difficult to pick out sarcasm in IM conversations.</p>